patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I posted a question a while ago and completely botched it. So perhaps I can do better this time. I am dating a woman - we are both in our 40's. We are both divorced, however hers is much more recent and so she is still a bit "raw" from the experience. We are very much in love and we have been dating for just under a year. She just informed me that she was invited to go to Burning Man with a married man from back home. They are both photographers so she is excited about going. I will stop there. What do you think?
dichotomy Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Why would she not invite you to go? You are both very much in love right? Thats my thought. 3
rester Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 The next Burning Man, in August 2015? If you're an established couple of almost a year, I'd think it'd be strange if she didn't ask you to go with her. I thought in your other thread she was your ex. 1
Author patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 She was my ex, but the BM thing was one of the reasons for the breakup. In other words, she was NOT my ex at the time of the incident. I messed that whole thing up with a few misplaced words. I found that the responses to this question vary by where you ask it. I guess that should be no surprise, but it was.
CarrieT Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It is an exciting experience and I would also try to attend.
CC12 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 If I didn't want to go, I wouldn't have a problem with my significant other going, but I would ask that there be no room/tent-sharing with a member of the opposite sex, because that would be inappropriate, in my opinion. And on the other hand, if I wanted to go to an event like this, assuming that I had never given my SO any reason to distrust me, I wouldn't be too happy if they told me I couldn't go. I probably wouldn't stay in that relationship, to be honest. Are you currently in a relationship with this woman? If not, why did you break up? 1
Trimmer Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Are you currently in a relationship with this woman? If not, why did you break up? I'm still completely confused about this, and even leaving aside my confusion from the other thread, the statements in this thread are frustratingly ambiguous: The best I can understand the present day situation: I am dating a woman... She just informed me that she was invited to go to Burning Man... ...she is excited about going.... All of these indicate a current situation: I am dating; she just informed me; she is excited about going. So the Burning Man issue is a current and active issue under discussion with his girlfriend. Right? She was my ex, but the BM thing was one of the reasons for the breakup. In other words, she was NOT my ex at the time of the incident. Now it reads like the Burning Man incident is in the past, and they broke up because of it. I don't understand the timeline. (And then, there's his statement in the other thread that once he explained his concerns about the BM trip, she "got it immediately...apologized and said she was not going." I just don't know where that fits in.) Edited January 10, 2015 by Trimmer 1
rester Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 She was my ex, but the BM thing was one of the reasons for the breakup. In other words, she was NOT my ex at the time of the incident. I messed that whole thing up with a few misplaced words. I found that the responses to this question vary by where you ask it. I guess that should be no surprise, but it was. So she IS your ex, and this incident was the reason you broke up? This is still confusing. Could you give us the timeline of when you started dating, when this incident happened, and when you broke up? Because it sounds like this happened in the past but you're writing it as if it were the present. It's currently January, and Burning Man is in August.
TylerTyrone Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Question i would ask is this: "why would the married man ask your woman to go to this event?" Are they going alone? Or are there others? Why didn't you ask if you could come along and pay your own ticket? You are very much in love right?
Timshel Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I have to say that you are a rebound. Personally would never become involved with anyone coming out of a LTR. I have been asked (on dates) and declined, more than once, life experience. Look at this relationship as fun and do not be exclusive. Too soon. BTW do your own thing.
elaine567 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 She just informed me that she was invited to go to Burning Man with a married man from back home. They are both photographers so she is excited about going. What an experience, and what a photograhic opportunity, whatever her age. To stop her going because you did not trust her and because you are too old to go, (been there, done that, got the Tshirt) is ridiculous. We only have one life, you should have supported her and gone with her. I am not surprised she broke up with you, I am surprised she forgave you. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Now it reads like the Burning Man incident is in the past, and they broke up because of it. I don't understand the timeline. (And then, there's his statement in the other thread that once he explained his concerns about the BM trip, she "got it immediately...apologized and said she was not going." I just don't know where that fits in.) The story is being written as the author goes along! Evidently. 1
elaine567 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 The story is being written as the author goes along! Evidently. He wants justification for his previous actions here.
Spectre Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 What an experience, and what a photograhic opportunity, whatever her age. To stop her going because you did not trust her and because you are too old to go, (been there, done that, got the Tshirt) is ridiculous. We only have one life, you should have supported her and gone with her. I am not surprised she broke up with you, I am surprised she forgave you. Wow, so you turned this around and made this about how the OP is the one at fault. First of all, she is in a relationship and yet wants to go on some trip to Burning Man with a married man, a man from "back home" which I assume means she has known this guy for a while. There is also NO mention that she actually invited the OP to go along, and that is a big red flag for me. It's true the OP could of said he wanted to go with, but I feel like if this was purely innocent he would of never had to say it, she would of invited him to go. You say it is ridiculous to stop her from going and I actually agree. One reason it is ridiculous is because there is no point in stopping her, the fact that she failed to invite him along shows me her heart wasn't very much into this relationship. One final thing, your logic of "you only have one life"..doesn't that work both ways though? Sure, Burning Man could be a fun experience with memories lasting a life time. Then again..a truly special relationship with someone can be a very positive experience with memories that also last a lifetime. In other words, I'd never give up a shot at true love just so I could attend some festival with a married woman. Though to be fair this relationship wasn't true love as is evident by the lack of her inviting him along.
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Wow, so you turned this around and made this about how the OP is the one at fault. First of all, she is in a relationship and yet wants to go on some trip to Burning Man with a married man, a man from "back home" which I assume means she has known this guy for a while. There is also NO mention that she actually invited the OP to go along, and that is a big red flag for me. It's true the OP could of said he wanted to go with, but I feel like if this was purely innocent he would of never had to say it, she would of invited him to go. You say it is ridiculous to stop her from going and I actually agree. One reason it is ridiculous is because there is no point in stopping her, the fact that she failed to invite him along shows me her heart wasn't very much into this relationship. One final thing, your logic of "you only have one life"..doesn't that work both ways though? Sure, Burning Man could be a fun experience with memories lasting a life time. Then again..a truly special relationship with someone can be a very positive experience with memories that also last a lifetime. In other words, I'd never give up a shot at true love just so I could attend some festival with a married woman. Though to be fair this relationship wasn't true love as is evident by the lack of her inviting him along. From his other thread on the matter "Ten years ago, I would have gone. But not now. That is a young man's thing and for people who are seeking that world of expression and experience. I have been there done that in my life and want to focus on building a wholesome real honest trusting intimate relationship. Burning man is not conducive to that for me." 1
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