soph-walker Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Hello My friends older brother who I've not seen in years added me on Facebook (the background is that I think he's cute and would like to go out on a date, and my friend -his sister- said that he was interested). I think she gave him a hint hence the add on Facebook. This sounds as though I'm at school, good grief. So I messaged him to say hello and ask how he was etc and we've been messaging for a week back and forth..I hinted about going for a drink, which he acknowledged but didn't actually do anything with this hint. I have really given up on being forward with guys recently as it seems to scare them off..does it seem likely that he's probably not interested or waiting for me to make a move? I am just so confused! I would like to drop my friend (his sis) a quick text as to this dilemma but fear she may tell her brother and I would feel dreadfully embarrassed. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I'm slowly but surely beginning to think I'll be on my own forever! 1
Satu Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Hello Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I'm slowly but surely beginning to think I'll be on my own forever! If this guy ticks all the boxes for what you need in a man, don't turn away from him, but: Getting into a relationship with someone that doesn't tick all the boxes, can mean that you get stuck with something you don't really want. Evaluate him for suitability. 2
Author soph-walker Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 If this guy ticks all the boxes for what you need in a man, don't turn away from him, but: Getting into a relationship with someone that doesn't tick all the boxes, can mean that you get stuck with something you don't really want. Evaluate him for suitability. Truth is, I've always thought of him in that way, crushed on him at school even. He broke up with his serious ex a year ago, as did I. Thing is, I would like to be able to get to know him before I get hung up over it but I'm loathe to suggest we go for a drink because I've been shot down so many times this year. I'm always conscious of not wanting to come across too keen but I don't think I could actually deal with being shot down yet again. 1
Poppygoodwill Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 You are connected on FB and you suggested a drink. Now it's his turn to take you up on it. If he doesn't, it's because he doens't want to - for whatever reason. Might have something to do with you, might not. Don't ask again or it will get awkward, and try not to take it personally. Chances are if something was goign to happen between you, it would have already, right? 3
Author soph-walker Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 . Chances are if something was goign to happen between you, it would have already, right? Not really, we've both lived away from each other in different cities and have always been involved in relationships. He made a joke about using my decorating services and I suggested my services would be available for the cost of a drink (cringe I know) and he replied saying something like ohh a drink you say, that sounds like a fair deal. Gah maybe I should have suggested an actual time and place after he said that. Gah who knows. It's so odd having to get used to know what the hell to do and say to guys after being in a longterm relationship. There should be a post-break-up-getting-back-into-dating-again manual! 1
youknow Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 if you want to go for a drink, just ask him to go for a drink directly. If he is into you he will say yes, If not he will say no. You will have your answer and can keep moving forward 1
bdhouston Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It's possible that he's interested in you. I think you should just be direct with him about asking him out for a drink. Most guys don't pick up on hints to be honest. If he does happen to decline, at least you and him can remain friends. 1
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Isn't the person doing the hinting suppose to do the inviting? If a man hints he'd be fun to get together I am not gonna make the invitation, I will respond positively to his hinting and I will wait for him to officially invite me. In my mind it's clear it's up to you to make the invite. 1
preraph Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Tell him "I don't think (Sister) would mind if we dated." Because he may be worried about the teasing and ridicule. I mean, what have you got to lose? 1
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