OLD site exchange, I'm not sure what's going on here

[Eddy Street]

I'm not sure if she's interested and wants to continue this, what I would hope is, playful banter. Or if she's trying to tell me that I'm a jack@

 

Basically sending sincere, warmhearted messages has failed for me. So has sending witty but nice messages, so I decided to start sending things with lots of shock value. Here is an exchange I'm having with a 26 year old woman who holds a master's in clinical psychology:

 

Me: Gees, 22 photos? What are you compensating for?

 

Her: Probably because I'm not intelligent and lack personality.

 

At first I thought her comment was a self-deprecating one, but then I realized she could be hinting at me being unintelligent and without personality. Either way, not a good thing. Assuming the former, I replied with this sort of funny message:

 

Me: But... you're not blonde. That doesn't make sense. It's contrary to all our theories about the human species, which admittedly were garnered from the radio signals you've been unintentional leaking out into space for nearly a century. Your species seems to be more interesting than we thought. Please remain here while I report to my base. I will return.

 

Me (follow up): Oh I see what you were doing. You were trying to insult me... or rather projecting. It's okay.

 

The follow up came about an hour after I sent the alien message, as she read it right away but didn't respond right away. This morning she sent me this:

 

Her: No I just am dumber than a box of rocks. You're obviously a highly intelligent species. A non-judgmental one of course.

 

I'm not surprised that everything in that last message is an attack at the image I have built of myself through my profile and the messages I have sent her, because I attacked her first. The thing I'm wondering about is, can this possibly be a playful attack or is it a serious "you're a jack@ and should go away" type of attack? I need help interpreting, since my dealings with humans have been very limited in the past, especially humans of the female gender.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Eddy Street

[Eddy Street]

Okay, maybe I'm projecting my capacity to insult onto her, perhaps that's silly of me. Here is what I just wrote to her. Hopefully it's playful.

 

Don't be so modest, our observations show that boxes of rocks often do the right thing, humans don't. But admitting there is a problem is always the first step, that's actually rule #7 of the intergalactic code. Do what you must and reach out to me when you upgrade.

[CarrieT]

Here is the problem with sending "sort of" funny responses:

 

They play better with voice inflection so while it was funny in your brain, it may not have come across as funny to someone who doesn't know your humor.

 

Leave that sort of banter alone until you know someone much better and can gauge their humor and intellectual level.

 

You came across as just plain weird, I'm afraid because the girl has no context to know if your Alien message was funny or if you really believe that sort of thing...

[Leticia]

Okay, maybe I'm projecting my capacity to insult onto her, perhaps that's silly of me. Here is what I just wrote to her. Hopefully it's playful.

 

Don't be so modest, our observations show that boxes of rocks often do the right thing, humans don't. But admitting there is a problem is always the first step, that's actually rule #7 of the intergalactic code. Do what you must and reach out to me when you upgrade.

 

Use sarcasm and then be direct in the same sentence? Noob.

[Eddy Street]

You came across as just plain weird, I'm afraid because the girl has no context to know if your Alien message was funny or if you really believe that sort of thing...

 

I suppose you're right, she might think that I believe in aliens, but then again a lot of serious scientists believe in aliens. But, I guess she could have thought that I believe I AM an alien, in which case I agree it wouldn't be too good lol.

[Eddy Street]

Use sarcasm and then be direct in the same sentence? Noob.

 

Thanks for your expert opinion, I'll have to jot that one down.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Hmm...this is an odd exchange particularly for OLD but then again, whatever floats your boat I guess.

 

My assessment? She's giving you the bird which was sparked by your initial poke at "compensating". I can't say I wouldn't have done the same.

 

I don't know any woman who wouldn't have been slightly offended by your comment. If you wanted to shock her or provoke her, I think you did the job. Unfortunately that may have also cost you a chance at actually engaging with her and getting to know her on a human-to-human level.

 

My advice? Dispense with the silly alien lingo. Unless a woman's profile explicitly outlines her affection for all things intergalactic, don't assume they will find it amusing.

 

Perhaps this is the crux of your problem regarding your dealings with humans of the female persuasion.

[Eddy Street]

So basically by responding to her initial reply I proudly proclaimed "I am a jack@".

 

Is there anything I can do now to turn this around? Or is any attempt to contact her further proof for her that I am a faulty organism?

[CarrieT]

Or is any attempt to contact her further proof for her that I am a faulty organism?

What Leticia said, "Use sarcasm and then be direct in the same sentence? Noob."

 

You did it here again..... See that?

 

 

 

Seriously, don't contact her again. Move on and learn from this lesson.

[Michelle ma Belle]

So basically by responding to her initial reply I proudly proclaimed "I am a jack@".

 

Is there anything I can do now to turn this around? Or is any attempt to contact her further proof for her that I am a faulty organism?

 

Not sure if this is redeemable. It's no secret that when it comes to OLD attention spans are fleeting at best since the competition is so fierce. You basically get one shot to make a good first impression particularly online.

 

If you want to try and make the best out of a bad situation, email her one more time and apologize for the way you handled things. Just be honest and see where it gets you.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say.

 

Just remember to put away your light saber until you're certain it's safe

 

Good luck.

[Eddy Street]

What Leticia said, "Use sarcasm and then be direct in the same sentence? Noob."

 

You did it here again..... See that?

 

 

 

Seriously, don't contact her again. Move on and learn from this lesson.

 

No, I don't. There is no set rule that says you cannot do that, especially if you're just joking.

 

Here is an interesting question tough, would a lot of women report me for that sort of exchange? Or would their pity save me?

[CarrieT]

No, I don't. There is no set rule that says you cannot do that, especially if you're just joking.

I'm not saying there are rules about what you can and cannot do, I'm indicating that you didn't seem to realize that you combined an esoteric reference ("I'm a faulty organism") with being direct ("Should I contact her again?")

 

Here is an interesting question tough, would a lot of women report me for that sort of exchange? Or would their pity save me?

Report you!?!? I think you are being far too esoteric in your exchanges when being <ahem> down-to-earth is called-for in the beginning.

[Eddy Street]

I'm not saying there are rules about what you can and cannot do, I'm indicating that you didn't seem to realize that you combined an esoteric reference ("I'm a faulty organism") with being direct ("Should I contact her again?")

 

Ah, I see. That's fair.

 

Report you!?!? I think you are being far too esoteric in your exchanges when being <ahem> down-to-earth is called-for in the beginning.

 

But that failed for me. Honestly I'm lost.

[BetrayedH]

I think it might be redeemable.

 

I'd try something like, "Hey, my apologies that the playful banter came across as judgmental. How about if I make it up to you with a nice dinner?"