Ashley S Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Hey! So, I like this guy, but when he flirted with me and seemed interested in me, I was dating another guy so I couldn't reciprocate. When we were hanging out a lot, he would give me compliments. Saying I am his "best friend", and how much of a "pretty" girl I am. He also tried to kiss me. He always wanted to be around me too. We fell out of touch for a long time. I have been broken up with my ex. I ran into the guy I like, and we started hanging out again recently. I really like him, but I think he friendzoned me. We have been hanging out a lot, and he keeps saying to me "If anything ever would happen to you, I would be devastated." "I feel like we are duo! I have so much fun with you! I feel so comfortable around you!" He invited me to this party and he was talking to these other girls more, and flirting with them. Kinda ignored me a little bit. He then went up to me and said "You're like a sister to me" I said "I'm like a sister to you?" He said "Yeah, I told Jay you are my older sister." I said "Oh cool!" Then again, he said "Like, if anything were to happen to you, I would cry, and be devastated." But way earlier in the night his friend was talking to me, and he said "Jay, dude why are you always finessing (apparently it's slang for flirting) my woman...my girl." He looked at me and said "What did Jay try to do?" He always is saying how much fun he has with me, but I notice he doesn't do anything to progress anything. Is there a way out of this friendzone? Lol. Do you think I am friendzoned? Or do you think he does have feelings, but because I rejected him first he's acting this way towards me? I guess if he looks at me like a sister, he must not like me that much What do you think? Edited January 9, 2015 by Ashley S
coolheadal Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 He told you already that, you are like sister to him. Meaning your like family or family close friend. That's what he sees you as. Not all the time about relationships for dating, there are girls like you for being someone he can count on and talk to like a sister would listen too. So you need to understand what he's saying. Unless things change in his mindset, but you can't change what he thinks of you now. If he does reverse his decision, then I know you would be happier. But reading what you have said, I don't see it happening. So being in the friend zone not bad but your more than friends your like family. Hold on to that now. In the meantime start looking for someone who wants to be in relationship with you and make you happy and only wants to be with you. 1
Andy_K Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 If he tried to kiss you before, chances are he's still interested. Referring to you as a sister is a way to cover his bases and act as friendly/close as he likes with impunity. It is also a classic PUA trick to push your buttons.. to get you thinking about him more and questioning what he wants, which is exactly the effect it's having. Should you decide to put your cards on the table instead, he has the option to A) say he's not interested, thereby feeding his ego and settling the 'score' from when you rejected him, or B) date you but have the tables turned and act like you're the keen one this time, so he's in control 1
Satu Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I don't think he has serious interest in anything exclusive with you. A friend is a friend, and a lover is a lover. He's a bit blurred.... I don't really have the right to say this, but: DON'T sleep with him to make him like you more. You know why. 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 I don't think he has serious interest in anything exclusive with you. A friend is a friend, and a lover is a lover. He's a bit blurred.... I don't really have the right to say this, but: DON'T sleep with him to make him like you more. You know why. Lol, I would never sleep with him unless I dated him, and we were exclusive. I am a relationship type of a girl, I am not into friends with benefits or anything like that. Yeah I concluded he's not into me. But what do you mean by "He's a bit blurred"? Just wondering. I am not trying to sound rude lol.
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 If he tried to kiss you before, chances are he's still interested. Referring to you as a sister is a way to cover his bases and act as friendly/close as he likes with impunity. It is also a classic PUA trick to push your buttons.. to get you thinking about him more and questioning what he wants, which is exactly the effect it's having. Should you decide to put your cards on the table instead, he has the option to A) say he's not interested, thereby feeding his ego and settling the 'score' from when you rejected him, or B) date you but have the tables turned and act like you're the keen one this time, so he's in control Thank you for your input What does PUA mean?
Holmes85 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Hey! So, I like this guy, but when he flirted with me and seemed interested in me, I was dating another guy so I couldn't reciprocate. When we were hanging out a lot, he would give me compliments. Saying I am his "best friend", and how much of a "pretty" girl I am. He also tried to kiss me. He always wanted to be around me too. We fell out of touch for a long time. I have been broken up with my ex. I ran into the guy I like, and we started hanging out again recently. I really like him, but I think he friendzoned me. We have been hanging out a lot, and he keeps saying to me "If anything ever would happen to you, I would be devastated." "I feel like we are duo! I have so much fun with you! I feel so comfortable around you!" He invited me to this party and he was talking to these other girls more, and flirting with them. Kinda ignored me a little bit. Ashley S, When you were in a relationship with someone, he was more attracted to you, since you were something he couldn't have. Now you are single and seem interested in him, now he doesn't feel the attraction anymore. He will get in touch with you, when his other interests doesn't work out as planned, you can be his "option" then. If you want my opinion on this matter, I personally would not want to puruse this guy, this guy does not know what he wants, he's just looking for "fun". If you like to waste months / years on this kid trapped in a man's body and want to experience an emotional heartbreak by all means go for it. I personally wouldn't waste a second here. 1
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Is this the same guy you said to "I will not be a rebound, or someone to fill the void, so I won't go out with you, or kiss you, but I will be your friend." ? 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 I admit that I did kinda reject him when I was broken up with my boyfriend. I was in anger mode, and so I wasn't giving any guy a chance. He was always flirting with me, and we went out a lot, but as friends. He made it seem like we were dating, and everyone thought we were, and I found out that he told his friends he was dating me. I went to him about it, and he was caught off guard or something, but now he keeps saying I am his "sister" to everyone lol. I think he's a game player because I went to a house party last night, and we picked up this girl he knew, he said "Yeah she always had a crush on me. I stopped talking to her for awhile because she had feelings for me, and it made the friendship awkward. She's pretty though. She's real pretty." I said "Why didn't you give her a chance then? You never know! Something could have happened between you two!" He said something that made no sense "I mean....I think she's pretty, but I am not attracted to her. Anyways my heart is taken by Jenna. I love Jenna." (Jenna has been a girl he's been on and off, with but I think he's with her, which is another reason why I won't progress anything) Yet, later in the night he's with this other girl we picked up, and he's making out with her, acting like they are together practically, and he referred to Jenna as his "ex", he slipped up and said that when Jenna thinks they are together. So, I really don't know what his deal is. Then he was kinda flirting with me. He either loves playing games or he's really immature and confused. I am not asking for anyone to have an answer, I am just asking what you think. Thanks.
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Well there you have it....he's put up a wall because of what you told him. So what the hell do you expect? He's not a mind reader sista. If you want to date him tell him. 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 Ashley S, When you were in a relationship with someone, he was more attracted to you, since you were something he couldn't have. Now you are single and seem interested in him, now he doesn't feel the attraction anymore. He will get in touch with you, when his other interests doesn't work out as planned, you can be his "option" then. If you want my opinion on this matter, I personally would not want to puruse this guy, this guy does not know what he wants, he's just looking for "fun". If you like to waste months / years on this kid trapped in a man's body and want to experience an emotional heartbreak by all means go for it. I personally wouldn't waste a second here. I think he's immature too. I agree. Check out my reply. It's a prime example of what you described. I just hate having feelings for someone who obviously isn't a mature or a game player. I can't tell though if it's just me? Or if I am accurate because I am always thinking a guy is a "player", so I am basically always thinking the worst of guys because of the break ups, and manipulation I fell for in the past that really hurt me. I think i am pretty accurate though. Thank you so much for your input!
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 Is this the same guy you said to "I will not be a rebound, or someone to fill the void, so I won't go out with you, or kiss you, but I will be your friend." ? Yes same fella lol.
Author Ashley S Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 Well there you have it....he's put up a wall because of what you told him. So what the hell do you expect? He's not a mind reader sista. If you want to date him tell him. I guess that could be it lol. He referred to me as his "girl" and "girlfriend" sometimes out in public and to friends, but he stopped doing that. Then his friends thought we were dating, and he told one of his friends that we were or something. I set the record straight, so yeah he calls me his "best friend", and "she's like a sister to me" to everyone now lol. But you might be right on that. Thank you for your input.
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 TBH I think he's a bit miffed at you. Think about it. He was under the impression you were seeing each other because of the way you acted with him. Then when you found out he was telling people you were dating you put your foot down and told him no that you are just friends. That shattered him and he felt betrayed, and led on. Now that he is choked about it, he's it rubbing it right back at you in your face. You: "Oh no now I find him attractive and want to date him all of a sudden". Ya because he's turned it on you because he tells you, you are just friends. He's doing it for spite because he got butt hurt over you shutting him down.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Yes same fella lol. I don't understand what you expected him to do after you rejected him. You more or less told him you're not interested, and you're wondering why he backed off. I don't get it. Did you expect him to keep chasing you anyway?
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