Jump to content

I hurting pretty bad. Where did I go wrong?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I met this girl through my part time job at college and just thought she was absolutely beautiful. I didn't ask her out until one of my coworkers ( that is very honest/honorable) said that she told him shed totally go out with me. So I ended up asking her and she said yes. She even admitted to separating from her group so we could talk. The first time I asked she was working that weekend and suggested the next but would have to see if she was working and get back with me. She never did and so I texted her with no response. Then about 2 days ago she deleted me on snap chat. Now I wasn't bombarding her with texts or anything. I'm really hurt because this took a lot of courage for me to do and then I got excited just to be thrown aside.

 

Did I do something wrong? Did she find another guy? I'm hurting right now so any advice would be helpful.

Posted

You didn't do anything wrong. She just flaked. It happens.

  • Like 3
Posted

Welcome to dating. Stick around...

Posted

I honestly think she ended up embarrassed because of the way the other guy told you she liked you. I know this sounds minor to men, but it can make the girl feel like she's not even sure if the guy actually is interested or if because he heard she liked him, now he just thinks she will be an easy conquest and might not even like her. So it becomes awkward and potentially embarrassing and it wasn't all that important to her, so she just bailed.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
You didn't do anything wrong. She just flaked. It happens.

 

True it does but why? I mean she could've told that kid she didn't want to go and she could've just avoided me so I didn't ask her out.

  • Author
Posted
I honestly think she ended up embarrassed because of the way the other guy told you she liked you. I know this sounds minor to men, but it can make the girl feel like she's not even sure if the guy actually is interested or if because he heard she liked him, now he just thinks she will be an easy conquest and might not even like her. So it becomes awkward and potentially embarrassing and it wasn't all that important to her, so she just bailed.

 

Why embarrassed though? She seemed happy and was smiling when I asked. She put in all the effort so I could ask.

Posted

She's back with her ex probably (which happens A LOT), nothing personal about you, except bad timing.

Posted

Why are you hurting about someone you didnt know. Someone you never knew.

 

Its a little hard to believe that you didnt go on a texting spree after you texted her first, or you wouldnt be so crushed.

 

Talk to more ggirls, and be less scared

this experience builds you up. Be more even keeled

  • Author
Posted
Why are you hurting about someone you didnt know. Someone you never knew.

 

Its a little hard to believe that you didnt go on a texting spree after you texted her first, or you wouldnt be so crushed.

 

Talk to more ggirls, and be less scared

this experience builds you up. Be more even keeled

 

Ha I'm sure it is hard to believe but I really didn't go on a texting spree I don't wanna smother her. I'm more bummed out because she seemed excited and the fact that she made the effort so I could ask. It made me excited and I had a date planned out in my head and no I didn't mention anything about that to her. I Work with her and always talk to her so ya it kinda does hurt that instead of just saying somethjng to me de just blocks me and ignored my message. I will be talking to other people but I just would like to know what happened.

Posted

Why do you assume that you did something wrong?

  • Author
Posted
Why do you assume that you did something wrong?

 

Because she ignored me and then randomly deleted me on snapchat. So I imagine I did something

Posted
Because she ignored me and then randomly deleted me on snapchat. So I imagine I did something

 

In the absence of any evidence that you did do anything wrong, I'll go with the conclusion that you didn't.

  • Author
Posted
In the absence of any evidence that you did do anything wrong, I'll go with the conclusion that you didn't.

 

Ok in that case what do you think happened?

Posted

Don't sit around beating yourself up trying to work out where you went wrong. You didn't. At this stage it is so early on that you are always at a 50/50 ratio.

 

Even though she has said yes initially she then has to consider if she does actually like you by thinking about you and seeing how you act very early on. She then without doubt has baggage and a past ex playing with her mind along with a number of other guys also hitting on her.

 

She lost interest. Give it 10 minutes thought then she goes. Hurting at this stage is more concerning than her flaking on you. Toughen up that skin as it gets a lot worse.

Posted
Ha I'm sure it is hard to believe but I really didn't go on a texting spree I don't wanna smother her. I'm more bummed out because she seemed excited and the fact that she made the effort so I could ask. It made me excited and I had a date planned out in my head and no I didn't mention anything about that to her. I Work with her and always talk to her so ya it kinda does hurt that instead of just saying somethjng to me de just blocks me and ignored my message. I will be talking to other people but I just would like to know what happened.

 

I wonder if the fact you work together had any factor for her? I would think twice about dating a guy I work with, unless I thought he was practically marriage material.

 

Other than that, I think you've not done anything wrong for her to warrant not getting in touch with you/deleting you from snapchat. Maybe she deleted her snapchat? I think it's important not to read into 'app' related mysteries as they mean very little in the real world and I think we place too much emphasis on how people/our love interests behave using such apps.

I hope you manage to stop hurting, you will meet someone whose right for you for sure. There's a lid for every pan!

  • Author
Posted
Don't sit around beating yourself up trying to work out where you went wrong. You didn't. At this stage it is so early on that you are always at a 50/50 ratio.

 

Even though she has said yes initially she then has to consider if she does actually like you by thinking about you and seeing how you act very early on. She then without doubt has baggage and a past ex playing with her mind along with a number of other guys also hitting on her.

 

She lost interest. Give it 10 minutes thought then she goes. Hurting at this stage is more concerning than her flaking on you. Toughen up that skin as it gets a lot worse.

 

Thank you I really do appreciate it. I guess it isn't so much that it's over I just always think that it's becaus soemthing is wrong with me. I'm working on it but I always assume it's because I did somethjng wrong or wasn't smart enough, or good looking enough or something other reason

Posted (edited)

Anything could've happened. People can have a change of mind over night. Maybe she got back with her ex. Maybe she thought it over and decided she doesn't want anything more than a friendship. Maybe she realized that having a relationship within her work wasn't such a good idea. Maybe she lost interest. Maybe she found someone else?

 

Don't let it get to you. And don't get your hopes so high next time, and also don't get too excited or it might show and the girl might look at you differently.

Edited by katlover
  • Author
Posted
Anything could've happened. People can have a change of mind over night. Maybe she got back with her ex. Maybe she thought it over and decided she doesn't want anything more than a friendship. Maybe she realized that having a relationship within her work wasn't such a good idea. Maybe she lost interest. Maybe she found someone else?

 

Don't let it get to you. And don't get your hopes so high next time, and also don't get too excited or it might show and the girl might look at you differently.

 

Haha thanks just one more question... What would make a girl lose interest. Also don't you worry about me getting too excited around the girl I wait until I'm alone to get excited.

Posted
Why embarrassed though? She seemed happy and was smiling when I asked. She put in all the effort so I could ask.

 

Yeah, but then she had time to think about how it came to pass and realized it was a potential setup. I guess all you can do is maybe email or text her and just say, "Just wanted you to know I think you're a really nice girl." And if she had this fear, that might calm it.

Posted

I could literally be anything. Maybe even her own insecurity.

 

There's a 99% chance that it's absolutely nothing you've done, and to ask why women lose interest is a question with no easy answer.

 

Bottom line, this was a non-starter, and there wasn't anything you could've done to make it go differently.

×
×
  • Create New...