VedderisBetter Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I understand online dating can be a competition. I met this cute girl on eharmony and she wants to meet after peak season calms down at her work. I have asked her twice (a few days apart) how it's going on the site for her. I know we owe nothing to each other as of yet, but I just want to make sure some other guy doesn't come in and sweep her off her feet. I've been flaked on before, and I don't like it. I'm trying to avoid that. Does me asking how it's going for her on the site look bad in a girl's eyes? Thanks in advance!
Danda Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 What I can tell you is that it most definitely screams, "How much competition do I have if I try to pursue you?" Take that as you will. 3
aggie382 Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 What I can tell you is that it most definitely screams, "How much competition do I have if I try to pursue you?" Take that as you will. I would say the same. I would also say asking twice would raise a question mark.
Assada Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Yes, It makes you look needy Yes, the answer is yes, if I wasnt clear. Also, why care, if other guys are talking to her. Do you think that youre the only guy shes talking to? - If so, that is exteme naivety. Bet you think that youre the first guy she's gonna have sex with too
Author VedderisBetter Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 I ended up talking to this girl from like 2-4:30 am last night so things are looking good. I had to be the one to say talk to you later. I think she's up late no matter what but she's seemed engaged and interested in a date this coming week if she can find a sitter.
A O Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Good stuff Eddie. To answer your initial question, I reckon it would make you look a little unsure of yourself, but then hey, confidence just doesn't grow on trees. It takes time to develop. May the tune be with you.... 1
deathandtaxes Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 She can talk from 2-4:30am but she won't meet until after peak season at work? What gives?? How long is this 'peak season'?
preraph Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 It can only have two meanings: You are afraid of competition OR you just want to be friends and discuss her other boyfriends with her. Your call. 1
Author VedderisBetter Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 Tonight she texted me while I was out with family and asked me what I am doing. An hr later I texted her telling her I just got back from being out with family. She said she got off work early and was wanting to know if I'd like to go out for drinks. I said sure when and where and she said I waited too long to text as she was picking up her child. Is she teasing lol?
losangelena Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Not necessarily. How long was it between when she texted you and when you replied? If you had been available right then, you could've gone. Otherwise it probably was too late. Set up a date with her! 1
deathandtaxes Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Tonight she texted me while I was out with family and asked me what I am doing. An hr later I texted her telling her I just got back from being out with family. She said she got off work early and was wanting to know if I'd like to go out for drinks. I said sure when and where and she said I waited too long to text as she was picking up her child. Is she teasing lol? This smells way too much of game playing. I think she's playing with you. If she were interested she would have asked you for drinks straight up and not brought it up after the fact.
Jules Dash Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 I have been asked something similar to this probably by almost every single woman I have met online in one form of the other. I always just take it as general conversation or a way of discussing something which both can relate. I think a better question to ask to get to the same answers you are probably looking for is "what do you think of this site" or "what has your experience been like thus far?" This has been asked of me and I never look at it negatively but I usually don't ask these questions myself unless I am asked first and I ask just to take part in the exchange.
d0nnivain Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I don't think she's playing games. I think she had a small window when she was free & she reached out. You didn't fit into her time table which happens with last minute invites. 1
Jessie1231 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Asking someone how it is going on a site like that doesn't come across as weird, not if you're actually talking with each other. If that's what a guy opens with and then continues to message when I don't reply it's a little weird. It does sound like she's interested since she's initiating texts. The only thing I would be careful about it her delaying meeting in person. I've learned from guys that when a woman does that, it can often means she doesn't exactly match her pics. Maybe she's thinking that by the time "peak season" is over at work, she will have shed that extra 40 pounds she's put on since her online pics were taken. Just be careful with that and try to meet her soon to make sure she's being honest about things.
Author VedderisBetter Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Here I thought this girl was flaking/ignoring me all of yesterday because I texted her Saturday night and asked her if our date night is still Tuesday. While she still hasn't answered that question lol she did get back to me and told me her phone chargers stopped working Saturday night but she was able to charge her phone via her computer. Now I feel dumb but I apologized because I texted her last night to ask if she was ok because we usually text everyday but I hadn't heard from her. Then I got frustrated and said "If you are interested in someone else, please tell me. It's not cool to leave me hanging." I really did think I was being ignored, but now I guess I believe her about her phone. She's got no good reason to lie.
deathandtaxes Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 . Then I got frustrated and said "If you are interested in someone else, please tell me. It's not cool to leave me hanging." Now THIS shows a lack of confidence... 3
pteromom Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Now I feel dumb but I apologized because I texted her last night to ask if she was ok because we usually text everyday but I hadn't heard from her. Then I got frustrated and said "If you are interested in someone else, please tell me. It's not cool to leave me hanging." You need to chill out or you aren't going to get anywhere with her. Assume she is talking to other guys. Assume she is being honest (unless she shows you otherwise.) You are coming across as clingy, overly-committed considering you haven't met her, and overly-jealous and insecure. None of these are attractive. Relax. Go with the flow. It will either work out or it won't. But pushing it won't help. 1
Author VedderisBetter Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Since she claimed that her phone's chargers didn't work since Saturday and I called her last night twice and got like 5 rings and it went to voicemail, is it just me or do you smell BS too. I know she lied about how long she's been at her job. Through text, she said she'd been there six months. On phone, she said only since November. She also said her baby is 8 months old then on phone she said her baby's birthday is in February which makes her 11 months. Advice?
somecamel Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Since she claimed that her phone's chargers didn't work since Saturday and I called her last night twice and got like 5 rings and it went to voicemail, is it just me or do you smell BS too. I know she lied about how long she's been at her job. Through text, she said she'd been there six months. On phone, she said only since November. She also said her baby is 8 months old then on phone she said her baby's birthday is in February which makes her 11 months. Advice? I'm starting to feel sorry for this girl
pteromom Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Since she claimed that her phone's chargers didn't work since Saturday and I called her last night twice and got like 5 rings and it went to voicemail, is it just me or do you smell BS too. I know she lied about how long she's been at her job. Through text, she said she'd been there six months. On phone, she said only since November. She also said her baby is 8 months old then on phone she said her baby's birthday is in February which makes her 11 months. Advice? Relax. Call her once, leave a message, and wait for a callback. Don't worry about the small details about what she is saying to you. I am sure when she is just chatting, she isn't sitting there adding up months on her fingers to get the facts straight. You are going into this looking for problems. Expecting her to hurt you. You can't form a relationship like that. You are going to scare away every girl you meet if you keep doing this. You have to assume the girl has good intentions unless and until you have REAL proof that she doesn't. But at this point, even if she doesn't, you haven't lost anything. That's the beauty of dating - you get to know someone and figure out if they are good for you or not.
Redhead14 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 I understand online dating can be a competition. I met this cute girl on eharmony and she wants to meet after peak season calms down at her work. I have asked her twice (a few days apart) how it's going on the site for her. I know we owe nothing to each other as of yet, but I just want to make sure some other guy doesn't come in and sweep her off her feet. I've been flaked on before, and I don't like it. I'm trying to avoid that. Does me asking how it's going for her on the site look bad in a girl's eyes? Thanks in advance! If I were you, I would simply assume there's competition and be on your "game" and be the best you can be
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