banini_jeque Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I dated this girl for a few months and I really liked her and had a great time with her, but something made me feel uneasy, so I've let her go. I'm not sure exactly what it was, if something was missing, or what, but it grew into more uneasiness as I began to doubt that I would fall in love with her, despite the chemistry and passion that we had. Maybe it was too much in some way. But then I wonder if I had just relaxed and stopped worrying, if I would have fallen in love with her given more time. Maybe I was expecting it to happen too soon. I wish I would have fallen for her because she's like one of the most awesome people I've ever met, but it just didn't seem like it would happen.
Author banini_jeque Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Yeah, but I always think "too much." I do it about everything, even my car. I've fallen in love before and didn't have an uneasy feeling, but I've never had that happen and had it last more than 2 months, so maybe it wasn't real, and for something real I just have to wait longer for it to grow.
Author banini_jeque Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 I don't know, I guess feeling attached to them at least somewhat, and feeling totally at ease and comfortable. Feeling a strong emotional connection. I guess those things just weren't there, even though we always had such a great time and a laugh.
Danda Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I don't know, I guess feeling attached to them at least somewhat, and feeling totally at ease and comfortable. Feeling a strong emotional connection. I guess those things just weren't there, even though we always had such a great time and a laugh. Those two things definitely take a while to develop, more than 2-3 months of dating, for sure. When people feel that way really early on, they are usually just deluding themselves and then it blows up in their face. So I would say yes, you were expecting certain things too soon. Romance doesn't really move faster in those departments than any other human bond, IMHO. Genuine friends can grow to be extremely emotionally intimate and extremely comfortable and at ease with each other, but typically not just from hanging out a couple times a week for 3 months. Romance is like friendship with mutual lust thrown in the mix. The lust doesn't rapidly accelerate the strength of the bond, although a ton of people mistakenly think it does (and then get burnt). So if anything, congratz on not being deluded about romance. That will serve you exceptionally well in future endeavors. But yeah, give it more time next time, no worries. 1
Assada Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I dated this girl for a few months and I really liked her and had a great time with her, but something made me feel uneasy, so I've let her go. I'm not sure exactly what it was, if something was missing, or what, but it grew into more uneasiness as I began to doubt that I would fall in love with her, despite the chemistry and passion that we had. Maybe it was too much in some way. But then I wonder if I had just relaxed and stopped worrying, if I would have fallen in love with her given more time. Maybe I was expecting it to happen too soon. I wish I would have fallen for her because she's like one of the most awesome people I've ever met, but it just didn't seem like it would happen. hahaha This just sounds like the writings of a madman to me
Author banini_jeque Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Well, I guess I'm a madman then. You mean like those guys on that tv show?
Gaeta Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 If you dated her for at least 6 months and the feelings weren't there then I doubt they would have come later. Men will often start thinking about an ex when they don't have other options. You are bored and out of options at this moment that is why you're looking back on this. 1
Author banini_jeque Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 I disagree. I'm either actually crazy, or, I'm incredibly inexperienced for my age, and I'm trying desperately to catch up by overthinking all of my feelings so that I can figure them out. I think though that the bottom line is, regardless of what name you give a feeling, that the right feeling just isn't there for the relationship to work. If it was, it would work for me, and since it isn't working for me, it isn't there, and it's really just that simple. It's an example of how even though you might have a blast with someone and a great laugh and even find them incredibly attractive, that emotionally somehow they still make you feel uneasy about being in a relationship with them. She would have made a really great friend, but unfortunately things moved along too fast for that to realistically work now for her, so I have to let her go. That's most likely what I'll have to accept, but my mind still wonders whether or not I should give it another chance and see if my uneasy feeling goes away eventually, most likely because I'm too inexperienced to know whether or not that would happen.
Author banini_jeque Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 Well, she just came and got a few of her things. We barely talked, partly because I didn't want to confuse her at all by saying anything, and then she left and I've been crying ever since. I haven't really cried in a very long time. Years even. I guess sometimes you just meet really really awesome people, and you're either not ready, or something isn't there, or it's the wrong time or something, and you have to let them go. If she comes back and wants to be friend one day, I know I'll probably cry again, but tears of joy instead of sadness like right now.
Recommended Posts