Jules Dash Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Jules, She approached me after week three to ask for exclusivity. I was in the tail end of a relationship and she knew about it. After week two, she asked me if I had broken things off with the other girl, and I told her I had. Which was the truth. I can recall one weekend where I didn't text her very much and she voiced her concern about me thinking about her since I didn't text that much. She even said she sometimes needed confirmation that I was with her and not the other. It seems like she can get all up in arms about scattered texts, but I come off like a needy, insecure freakbag if I show my own concerns. I understand but, unfortunately, 6 weeks is still a very short time. I find that when it comes to adequately recovering from texting/communication tiffs, a nice solid bond have to be in place. You can probably get back with her briefly but things are usually not the same and they tend to start sliding backwards a bit. Try being indifferent about it as discussed previously. I wouldn't push or try to make up for it. It just seems to make awkward moments or make it worse. As said above, it is usually a great thing to let things like response times to text just go. It is not worth the drama. They just come back to bite you and even if you feel like the other person was playing games or ignoring you, you will only feel terrible in the end by calling them out on it. My girlfriend has usually taken hours to reply back to me and sometimes don't reply to an evening message until late the next morning. It is just her. I don't say anything about it. I just respond back like I usually do and we keep on romancing. 1
bachdude Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It seems like she can get all up in arms about scattered texts, but I come off like a needy, insecure freakbag if I show my own concerns. No one really even knows if you came off like this to her. Relax about it.
losangelena Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I'm not sure what you did that would necessarily warrant a break up. It sounds like she was bothered by something you did or didn't do, but won't tell you what it is, and then when you don't respond appropriately (by asking her how her day was going?), she gives you the silent treatment. OP may sound a little insecure, but not hideously so, and she seems bad at communicating her true feelings—sounds like a match made in heaven. I had a guy texting and calling me that much after date one, and that was grounds for calling it off, but not six weeks in, I don't think. 1
preraph Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It's so simple: If you text someone, wait until they text back, no matter how long that takes or if it never happens. If they give a crap, eventually they will contact you. If they don't, hounding them and whining isn't going to make them change their mind. You don't get to tell them they have to text back promptly. You don't have the right to know why or what she was doing. By being an insecure baby, you will ruin one relationship after another. Grown people with busy lives don't have time for continuous texting nonsense!! And if you do text everything, what on earth do you have to talk about when you actually see each other? I don't know why this is such an issue with people. It seems so simple: You leave a message, and they respond when they're good and ready. And not all texts or calls require a reply. And why waste time doing it back and forth for no reason???
broken77 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 russians in general can be cold and lack empathy you deserve to be treated better life is short , no time for games.
Author Certain_Uncertainty Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 Good evening, everyone... First off, thanks to all of you for responding in such a timely and compassionate manner. There were positive vibes, negative vibes and those in-between. I followed the advice to pretend nothing happened and just to be chill. It worked. After work last night, I stayed late to help her with some paperwork. She said I didn't have to. I said, "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we get you out of here." She agreed, said she was hungry and we left for dinner. Dinner was filled with everything BUT what had transpired the previous day with regard to who texted who what and why the texts weren't responded in time and all that insecure jazz. We talked about work, about us and about the concert on Sunday. It was extremely pleasant. Things are normal. What did I learn? I learned, from you fine folk, not to stress about the return time for a text. They'll get to it when they get to it. I also learned that if you have a small tiff with someone, sometimes it's wise to pretend it never happened. Sometimes that crap just goes away by itself if you don't bring it up. Thanks again, everyone. 2
BluEyeL Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Glad it worked out! Good luck and keep being zen, let things go
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