Popsicle Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) Forget about this ex. Stop talking to her and everything. It's easy to keep things professional and avoid someone at work. Your ex will find someone else. Edited January 12, 2015 by Popsicle
sandylee1 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 This is a question mainly for the women but still interested in all the replies. I simply cannot quit my job if we want to keep our house and lifestyle, it is that simple. My wife has already mentioned that she wants me to quit but she has also mentioned previously that she doesn't want to ever return to work. If you were my wife how would you react if I came to you and said I want us to be together, you're the one I love, I want to get away from my ex even though nothing has and nothing will ever happen, so I am thinking of quitting my job BUT if I am to do this you MUST go back to work or we can't survive. It sounds like I am putting the ball in her court and making it her problem which is not my intention but the plain and simple fact is that is what must happen. Just so everyone understands for the field I work in there are only two companies withing a 3 hour drive, mine and the one where my ex works so there is no option of finding the same job elsewhere. We could move but even starting out at the bottom rung would mean a hefty pay cut still requiring my wife to work and then we have all the upheaval of new schools for the kids etc. I feel confident that with some counseling and some time I can deal with this issue and it will subside but I am not sure my wife will ever get comfortable with me working with my ex. The only realistic option is for her to work, is it wrong to put that on her? Honestly- I would be very disappointed if my H said this to me. Asides from the fact that I personally don't like being financially dependent on any man. It would make me feel my H weak and not 100% in love and devoted to me, because if he was he wouldn't need to get away from the X, he would know that was all in the past. Romance your W all over again and remind yourself of the reasons you married her, the qualities you saw in her, because you could have married other women, but you choose her. If your W senses you somehow pulling away, then it will also change how she reacts and that will cause problems that weren't there. Your X is harming your marriage and you need to see that. She knew you were married and never should have said what she did. Keep her at bay and set your boundaries firmly. No lunches, no flirting and respect for your marriage.
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