Confusedcarl Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 So I've been dating this girl (I say girl but I mean women ) for 2 months now and everything has been progressing so smoothly and flawlessly it's almost with no effort put forth. So like I said 2 months. We've been on several dates have had sex every single time we see each other. I've stayed at her house on multiple occasions after her insisting that I do. We get along in every sense, and have had 0 arguments or quarrels. As all this happened through out these 2 months we open up to each other about past relationships and naturally we progress into an exclusive retaliation ship after I had asked to become that. Now when I say exclusiveness I don't mean we're in a official relationship. Just one where we only see each other. So just recently I just notice a slowing in communication. I brush it off cause it's the holidays and she's on vacation. She finally gets back we see each other everything is in the norm we have another awesome night together. Then I go home the next day. We communicate everyday as she says all the normal nice things about me she usually does. But then one morning I wake up to a message from her stating that she thinks she might be leading me on and how she isn't meaning to be but she feels hat she is. She continues on the text about how great I am and missing all the time sucks but she doesn't feel as committed as she should for it to continue. She then tells me how badly she wants to stay friends and still hang out together. Bit then she ended it all with saying that she needed to collect and contemplate everything she was feeling. What I want to know is how everything flipped a 180 in two days time and what I'm supposed to do about this. We're supposed to get together and talk in person in 2 days. What should I make of this? Is she confused and scarred to move forward because she is afraid of how good things are or the polar opposite and just trying to let me down easy. Thoughts and advice is much appreciated.
toscaroscura Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 But she didn't flip a 180 on you in 2 days. Communication has been slowing since the holidays. I think she is not into it anymore. Cut her loose and best of luck.
Jules Dash Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 This really stinks of rebound behavior. Did she relatively recently get out of a long term relationship prior to her starting to see you?
BeholdtheMan Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 What I want to know is how everything flipped a 180 in two days time and what I'm supposed to do about this. We're supposed to get together and talk in person in 2 days. What should I make of this? Is she confused and scarred to move forward because she is afraid of how good things are or the polar opposite and just trying to let me down easy. The "why" doesn't matter. You just have to deal with it. She might not have been exclusive with you. Found a better guy... Thoughts and advice is much appreciated. Go cold on her. At least pretend like you're a man with plenty of options. Men with plenty of options don't cling. If she warms up to you, go with the flow. If not, move on 1
Assada Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 So I've been dating this girl (I say girl but I mean women ) for 2 months now and everything has been progressing so smoothly and flawlessly it's almost with no effort put forth. So like I said 2 months. We've been on several dates have had sex every single time we see each other. I've stayed at her house on multiple occasions after her insisting that I do. We get along in every sense, and have had 0 arguments or quarrels. As all this happened through out these 2 months we open up to each other about past relationships and naturally we progress into an exclusive retaliation ship after I had asked to become that. Now when I say exclusiveness I don't mean we're in a official relationship. Just one where we only see each other. So just recently I just notice a slowing in communication. I brush it off cause it's the holidays and she's on vacation. She finally gets back we see each other everything is in the norm we have another awesome night together. Then I go home the next day. We communicate everyday as she says all the normal nice things about me she usually does. But then one morning I wake up to a message from her stating that she thinks she might be leading me on and how she isn't meaning to be but she feels hat she is. She continues on the text about how great I am and missing all the time sucks but she doesn't feel as committed as she should for it to continue. She then tells me how badly she wants to stay friends and still hang out together. Bit then she ended it all with saying that she needed to collect and contemplate everything she was feeling. What I want to know is how everything flipped a 180 in two days time and what I'm supposed to do about this. We're supposed to get together and talk in person in 2 days. What should I make of this? Is she confused and scarred to move forward because she is afraid of how good things are or the polar opposite and just trying to let me down easy. Thoughts and advice is much appreciated. If everything is as you said. There IS no problem. She got caught in her own head and is over-thinking everything. What you do when you see her is. absolutely nothing. You act the same way as before, you talk about the same stuff, and you let her handle that on her own. She may try to explain, or she may not - Just listen to her. It may also just be a test to see if you freak out. Continue as normal, and tell us how it turns out 1
Author Confusedcarl Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 The "why" doesn't matter. You just have to deal with it. She might not have been exclusive with you. Found a better guy... Go cold on her. At least pretend like you're a man with plenty of options. Men with plenty of options don't cling. If she warms up to you, go with the flow. If not, move on So I definitely do have other options I just chose her since we were being exclusive. Honestly I'm not one for casual sex and swinging back and forth between women so I haven't had contact wih any of the said "other options". I get what you're saying about being a man though.
Author Confusedcarl Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 If everything is as you said. There IS no problem. She got caught in her own head and is over-thinking everything. What you do when you see her is. absolutely nothing. You act the same way as before, you talk about the same stuff, and you let her handle that on her own. She may try to explain, or she may not - Just listen to her. It may also just be a test to see if you freak out. Continue as normal, and tell us how it turns out That is exactly what I planned on doing. I don't see any true benifit that will serve me by acting like a total douche and freaking out. I just wanted some insight on why she might be acting like this. She's been rather flaky on texting back since all this went down. So we havent spoken so much. I not really overly attached to this women but I definitely want to try and keep her around.
Author Confusedcarl Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 This really stinks of rebound behavior. Did she relatively recently get out of a long term relationship prior to her starting to see you? She has been in a couple of LT relationships but I dknt believe she's been in one for awhile. She says sometimes that she still has walls up. I guess from bad experience with the previous LTR but I am definitely more than willing to tear them ****ers dowwwwn.
FitChick Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 She might have met someone during the holidays. Or maybe she didn't like your Christmas present.
Redhead14 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 So I've been dating this girl (I say girl but I mean women ) for 2 months now and everything has been progressing so smoothly and flawlessly it's almost with no effort put forth. So like I said 2 months. We've been on several dates have had sex every single time we see each other. I've stayed at her house on multiple occasions after her insisting that I do. We get along in every sense, and have had 0 arguments or quarrels. As all this happened through out these 2 months we open up to each other about past relationships and naturally we progress into an exclusive retaliation ship after I had asked to become that. Now when I say exclusiveness I don't mean we're in a official relationship. Just one where we only see each other. So just recently I just notice a slowing in communication. I brush it off cause it's the holidays and she's on vacation. She finally gets back we see each other everything is in the norm we have another awesome night together. Then I go home the next day. We communicate everyday as she says all the normal nice things about me she usually does. But then one morning I wake up to a message from her stating that she thinks she might be leading me on and how she isn't meaning to be but she feels hat she is. She continues on the text about how great I am and missing all the time sucks but she doesn't feel as committed as she should for it to continue. She then tells me how badly she wants to stay friends and still hang out together. Bit then she ended it all with saying that she needed to collect and contemplate everything she was feeling. What I want to know is how everything flipped a 180 in two days time and what I'm supposed to do about this. We're supposed to get together and talk in person in 2 days. What should I make of this? Is she confused and scarred to move forward because she is afraid of how good things are or the polar opposite and just trying to let me down easy. Thoughts and advice is much appreciated. This did not happen in two days. She's likely been feeling this way all through the "relationship" but was enjoying the ride while pushing aside her fears, etc. At some point, she realized that she was in too deep and is now pulling away. I would give her space to process whatever she's dealing with. If you really like her and are willing to wait a little while (whatever time you want to give), just let her know you understand and that she can contact you again when/if she is ready to move forward. If and when she contacts you again, and you still want to pursue a relationship with her, you need to be direct about your intentions and find out "where" she's at. If she says she just wants to maintain a friendship, I'd say that you're moving on because you want more than she is able to give and that maintaining a "friendship" with her would be difficult for you given the emotions you have toward her. And, trust me, it would be difficult for you.
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