beatjunkies Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 So if you have followed my posts you know whats going on.. basically i moved out of state this past sept and my ex (who dumped me because i moved out of state) has another b/f... I have moved back to be with her and also because i didnt like it where i was.. we hung out or whatever but now contact has gotten less and less ( I started in with NC) she would call about once a week and what not but now it has gotten less and less. I dont know if im writing this because i am drunk or what but I really want this girl back !! she means the world to me.. I have poured my heart out to her and said i was sorry for moving away but it still hurts me soo much (even after like 4 months of being broken up) I am getting really despereate.. I know that if she wanted to talk then she would call but I seriously want to call her sooo bad and justify everything and tell her she is making a mistake but she is doing what she wants right? Does it sound like she has moved on or is this new relationship seem like a crutch ? I am assuming she has now been with this guy about 4 months now (since i was out of state) My mistake was that i thought that moving back would change everything but it hasnt... I am 21 years old and we were together for 7 years.. she was soo crazy over me as I was for her... We took things for granted but she is the only person on Earth that means the world to me.. Is there anything I can do other than NC ? Keep in mind that I have told her how I feel and what not but I guess its because I am drunk that I really feel like calling her.. up until this post I was looking at pix of us and crying my eyes out.. I love her soo much and know she wouldnt regret getting back together but IS there anyway to convince her of this or should I just stick with NC ?? This is seriously killing me inside sooo bad !! PLEASE HELP !!! Sorry again I am drunk so if this post sounds stupid or pathetic thats why.. haha... . Thanks for any input..
Donut Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Stop doing this to yourself!!! Looking at pics while drunk will make you feel this way. Put everything that reminds you of her in a box and put it out of sight. You've already told her how you feel, she knows where you are if she wants to contact you. It doesn't matter whether her new relationship is a "crutch" or not, she's trying to move on. You have to do the same. Sorry, this is tough love, but meant with the best intentions.
vickimonster Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Sounds like you need N/C so you can get perspective and thing about yourself a little bit. However I know all to well that is the hardest thing to do, and what you want to do the least right now!!! Try setting yourself a goal of say N/C for a week, and spending that time make your life better. Start something new for example. Well anywho that helped me.
Author beatjunkies Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 I have been doing NC but then like on and off ill end up contacting her.. its been about a week now.. its not soo much not talking to her as it is when i think about how things are and I get all depressed . Anyways I feel better right now that i have a clear head and I am sober but it still sucks and I still kind of have that urge to call.. I wont thought because I know if she wanted to talk or whatever then she would call me.. Thanks for the input !! Peace
strange love Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Look NC is not one hour or one day or even one week. Sometimes it takes a month, sometimes it takes a few months. Even more... You need a way to rationalize it? get angry.. That way you wont wish to chat with her.
Author beatjunkies Posted March 29, 2005 Author Posted March 29, 2005 I know what you mean strange.. Sometimes I just say hey she is the one that chose the path she took and there is nothing I can do about.. honestly though I thought that we would have been together by now.. Actually she called me today but I didnt answer because I was eating. So i called her back at her work like 20 minutes later and she was like weird i was just about to call you again. I had sent her pix of my apartment about a week ago I guess. I had sent her an email and what not and sent some pictures. So we chatted a little bit, nothing about a relationship. Just whats been going on and she was asking how to get ringtones on her phone and what not. She had to go and i just said well it was nice talking to you and she said the same then I said I guess Ill talk to you later and she was like okay. Sometimes I get soo desperate where I really feel like calling her and begging her to come back and try to make her see things my way but I will NEVER do that. But I get in those states of mind sometimes and it sucks. I was just really depressed last night !! It felt kind of good though to cry about it. it helped me out a little to relieve the pain I guess. Or I was just being an emotion drunk bastard !! haha So thats about it for now. The thing is strangelove when she does finally call me I sort of get the mind set that it is okay to contact her afterward. Its like oh we are talking again and it wouldnt hurt to call her.. Its such a lame way to go about it and its not right. There are soo many questions I want to ask her just about wouldnt she rather be with me than him and tell her that she knows things would work out but then its obvious. Honestly I think about her everyday (even if its only for like 5 seconds) I wonder if she thinks about me everyday or if I pop up in her mind.. I just wish I knew exactly what she thought about in a days time. Anyways thats impossible and I shouldn't dwell on it and I dont.. I just get these little questions now and then.. Ok ill shut up now.. So anything new happen in your situation strangelove ? Take care
Puma Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 let it go...if ya really want her back..make her jealous..that will not work however if she doesnt have feelings for you though so you decide. either way move on and let her take notice and wonder what could be up with you that you are not bowin and beggin at her feet...to be honest with you..right now youre power is slippin from you, take a hold of it and realize that she has most of it if not all the power because you have given it to her!
Author beatjunkies Posted March 29, 2005 Author Posted March 29, 2005 I know she has the power. Thats what my sister was saying.. Just try to make her jealous.. haha.. get this though.. When I first moved back out here from out of state (december) she was asking like crazy about other girls and what not.. we went to eat one time and i pulled a recepit out of my pocket to throw away and she was all like what is that is that some girls number.. ha.. She doesnt really act like that anymore, nor does she ask about other girls.. Trust me Puma I will never beg her to come back. I should just act uninterested in her.. I was thinking about just telling her the next time we talk that I dont want to be friends with her and please dont call me.. You know reverse psychology.. But then i dont want her to take it literally. I do want her back but there are still a few angles I have tried yet.. one is what I just said and the other is to just make her jealous.. Ive done the pouring my heart out thing and that doesnt work for sure !! I dont know maybe I should just keep up what I am doing and only talking when she calls and being happy and all that. Keep the convo short and be the first to end the call... Im caught between the two choices.. I dont know what method to go about.. Who knows she could have just moved on and doesnt want to work things out in the future.. i dont know.. Thanks for the input Puma. !!
Puma Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 ok as i can tell you have a good sense of yourself so tahts good. im gonna help you out..but you have to follow closely and think about what im tellin ya k? ok good, cause if ya dont..you wont get anywhere as you already know 1. make her JEALOUS by givin clues that you are goin out with "friends". if she asks "who?" cut her off and say ok gotta go..catch ya later! dont ever let her know directly who you goin out with..unless you tell her its a girl.then that would be ok as she will get jealous because u are doin ur own thing. jealousy is the most powerful emotion in the book man! think about that one for a bit..ponder about the motives of murders and stuff liek taht..i digress. 2. regain taht POWER man!! that is important. we grow up being socialized that women have the power because they get to choose who they want to be with...WRONG!! it takes a confident man to turn that around..thats where i come in haha..to help ya out and tell ya that it doesnt have to be that way at all. u are the selective one! tell yourself that over and over till it records in ur head. regain the control my friend 3. always keep your COMPOSURE when talkin to her..when/if you do. and keep the convo short and light..be unavailable..always have soemthin to do, somewhere ya have to go. this will lead her to believe you dont need her..which is good and what you want, becuase you dont need her! 4. keep busy, maintain a LIFE of your own...you remember taht dont you? its that thing we are blessed with when we are born..its called a "life", its a fascinating thing it is!! 5. VISUALIZE the situation and the outcome you desire..most often it will play out that way..because the power of the mind is incredible and it is a fact taht we humans only use 10% of its potential. thats just awesome isnt it?? everyone else uses 10%..luckily i am not like you all haha..ive discovered the infinite possibilities. 6. DO NOT spill your feelings for her!! chances are that u became borin to her so she wanted out. dont believe me here? ok think about all the things you did together before brakin up..now tell me do you see a pattern of sorts? did you become at least a lil borin? perhaps you became even emotional..she distanced herslef more and more right? and you craved for her attention
Author beatjunkies Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 I agree with you.. The main reason she got out of it though was because I moved out of state this past sept without her.. I have moved back out to cali as of December and things are still the same.. i used to just tell her that i was going out with friends and she would always ask who.. She doesnt really do that anymore though.. The one time I did act like I was too busy she got all mad and what not and was like sorry for bothering you.. haha it was funny.. I guess its just starting to seem like things arent that way anymore.. Now all of the things im telling you about stopped about a month ago.. So I dont know if she is just moving on or just basically realizing what she was doing and trying to avoid it.. I think that I will still keep in contact with her but just try to make her jealous.. Thanks for the advice Puma !! Peace..
Puma Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 no prob..just dont go too far with tryin to make her jealous..it has to be done in subtle manner or she'll know your motive then your screwed! need anythin else just holla..ciao
Recommended Posts