Does someone's dating resume/experience matter to women?

[AVarma]

It isn't. I just said it to throw off that one woman who I quoted.

 

Overall, my lack of experience has SOMEWHAT to do with shyness, but a lot of the time it has to do with the fact that I just do my own thing and I don't always have much of a drive to meet women. Personally, I see attractive women everywhere I go. I acknowledge their attractiveness, but that doesn't mean that I am attracted to them.

 

If you're not concerned then why do you care about what women think of your lack of experience? See the thing about me is that I want to have sex but haven't been able to for a variety of reasons ranging from religious and cultural baggage to shyness and social awkwardness to low self-esteem problems because of an abusive father and being bullied as a kid.

 

But for somebody like you who is just shy and ok with it I don't see why you care so much.

[E-Squared]

If you're not concerned then why do you care about what women think of your lack of experience? See the thing about me is that I want to have sex but haven't been able to for a variety of reasons ranging from religious and cultural baggage to shyness and social awkwardness to low self-esteem problems because of an abusive father and being bullied as a kid.

 

But for somebody like you who is just shy and ok with it I don't see why you care so much.

Maybe it's because I read too many threads on romance forums for the most part and it seems to mess with my head a bit. For starters, I remember reading a thread post with a woman saying that she would wonder what "the holdup is" if a guy has remained a virgin for too long, and also, and I quote, "would find it hard to believe that a guy would go through years without meeting and hitting it off with some woman." Plus, some of the time I think to myself about how I can go a long time without really "meeting someone special." It's not really a confidence issue and how to deal with it, despite the fact that I can admit that my confidence can fluctuate. It's more of "what have I been doing lately?" kind of issue.

 

All I can say is that I tell myself that I shouldn't worry, but I think about my age and I sometimes feel like I am behind the curve in terms of how people my age have been in serious relationships or even married. Sure, I may have gone on dates and all that stuff, and like you said, I am more ahead than I may think. However, some women in certain threads that I have read have said that where they are in life they don't want to play the role of teacher. It's mostly because of some social norm and expectation, and most people would assume that someone at a certain age would have more experience than the person actually does.

[AVarma]

 

And one shouldn't confuse confidence with arrogance. One is sexy while the other is not.

 

Meh I know a lot of arrogant guys who are pretty good with women. A lot of people can't really differentiate between arrogance and confidence.

[E-Squared]

Meh I know a lot of arrogant guys who are pretty good with women. A lot of people can't really differentiate between arrogance and confidence.

I associate arrogance with over-confidence.

[E-Squared]

So I have to ask this. Do you think I was right or do you think I was wrong for being defensive with a girl who asked me if I was a virgin in the past?

[ThaWholigan]

So I have to ask this. Do you think I was right or do you think I was wrong for being defensive with a girl who asked me if I was a virgin in the past?

Wrong. Being defensive about it will diminish your chances to not be one anymore. You wanna make it as little a deal as possible - unless you're saving it for "special someone" and the girl is looking for the same.

[E-Squared]

Wrong. Being defensive about it will diminish your chances to not be one anymore. You wanna make it as little a deal as possible - unless you're saving it for "special someone" and the girl is looking for the same.

I am telling you know that I got defensive with some girl in the past because I had been made fun of for it in the past. Hell, the girl also gave me crap for it because she thought it was odd that I haven't gotten laid at that point. This was nearly seven years ago, by the way. Hell, an old female friend was two-faced about the whole thing, one day she'd be all "save if for someone special." The next day she'd be all like "you're behind, your parents sheltered you" and all that stuff.

[No Limit]

For me it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. As long as the guy doesn't get all childishly-giggly when my shirt's off.

[Priv]

For me it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. As long as the guy doesn't get all childishly-giggly when my shirt's off.

 

That in conjuction with big puppy eyes is my natural response closely followed by yelping 'boooooooooooobies'. Can't help it... it is a reflex

[E-Squared]

For me it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. As long as the guy doesn't get all childishly-giggly when my shirt's off.

What about if someone gets hard?

[carhill]

So does experience matter?

 

In the sense that you can relate to a woman in an authentic manner and read her responses and interactions in a healthy way borne of experience, yep experience can matter and likely does matter.

 

As far as specifics, you can be as open as you wish, or not. Back when I was a virgin and dating, which occurred through my 20's and into my mid-30's, I merely talked about the women I dated and the few girlfriends I had experienced and left it at that, if asked. TBH, very few women asked. They didn't appear to be interested in my past. About the only 'past' which was relevant was, at the point sex came onto the table, past experiences and STD's. Having no past experiences, I simply provided STD results and things moved forward.

 

Looking back on it all, I made things a lot more complicated than they needed to be. The folks who were simply living life and doing what they felt like without a lot of rules and thinking about it had a lot more fun and, in the final analysis, fun is a wonderful way to look back on life, rather than complicated interactions. Go with the flow. Don't worry about the details.