Neph_Deff Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I need to write this to get an insight into other peoples experiences and to get advice. Sorry if this is long! Anyway, I (21 y.o F) was dating my now ex-boyfriend (21y.o M) for almost two years. Everything as great. He couldn't wait for me to meet his parents and I got on with all his family and friends great as he got on well with mine. He consistently talked about our future: getting married, buying a house, starting a family etc. Roughly 10 months ago I caught him texting a 17 year old girl he once had a fling with. I confronted him about it where he was embarrassed and told me he was sorry and that he wanted only me and loved only me. At the start of December 2014 we got into a very rare fight over text and I received a message from him that night saying that he wants to be alone and work and he wishes he could change how he felt but he can't at the moment and he doesn't really know how he felt and that he might change in a couple of months. I then rang him confused and he told me that he still loved me and didn't want to break up but we need to talk things over. He also said he felt horrible about sending me that text. The next morning I sent him a good morning message where I got a very cold reply saying "good morning, just letting you know we need to talk". I took him 3 days to meet me face to face where I asked him to be brutally honest with why he wanted to break up. He told me he didn't love me as much as he did and he just needs to be alone. I asked if there was anyone else and he said no. I asked him if he wanted to be anyone else and he said no, I want to be alone. I asked him if I can be friends with his family still and he said that's fine and he would love that. He asked for no-contact and said one day he hopes we can be friends. I found out 2 weeks later that he went out to dinner with a 17 yr. old he met through work about a week after we broke up. He has since had a go at his mum for wanting to be friends with me. I have recently in the last few days that my ex and his extremely immature friend (21M) had a bet at their work as to who could hook up with a 17 yr old and they have both ended up with a 17 yr old each now so it makes sense. The person my ex is dating is to my knowledge heading off to uni in the city soon which is about an 1hr and half from our small town. I'm just super confused as just days before we broke up he was talking about moving in together on the farm his family were just about to buy (which I now know fell through two days before he sent me that text) and how much he loved me. I know that this 17yr old and my ex have been hanging around together a bit. My ex just seems so choppy. I have been on a few dates with one guy and have been hanging around with all my friends so I'm slowly moving on and I haven't contacted my ex since we broke up. My question has anyone been in a similar situation? Is his new relationship a rebound? Do you think its possible that he would come back and try to get with me again?
Marco Valerio Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Listen close my friend. Your ex bf is wishing to loose you so he can date another girl, that doesn't say much about his love. Your ex bf prefers to loose what he had with you, all the moments you've shared together, just to date a barely known girl. That's a great insight for you !!!
Light Breeze Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) My question has anyone been in a similar situation? Is his new relationship a rebound? Do you think its possible that he would come back and try to get with me again? First off, I'm sorry for what you're dealing with right now. Take comfort in the fact that a lot of people here are experiencing the pain that you do. It will get better. Now, I'll give you my two cents, first on the minor questions. He may or may not return it depends on how things turn out with the other girl. But, most likely he will when his new relationship goes to the gutters. Rebound? No... why? Because as hard as this may sound, your EX was cheating on you with this other girl. He says he needs to be alone? Confused? You don't really believe that do you? Read around here, that's one of the classic lines people who are either cheating or plan to leave their partners for another, will say. Rebound relationships are entered by people after they breakup to fill an emotional void. Seems, your ex doesn't need his void filled up since he was already seeing this other girl prior to your BU Now, the MAJOR question is why would you want him back? This guy cheated on you and is very immature (a bet to date a 17 yr old, very childish). You quite dodged a bullet here. Now, you said your slowly moving on. That's good for you! Just continue with what you're doing and live a happy life. When your ex comes crawling back I hope you'll do the right thing and say no. You can do so much better him. And don't forget read the "No Contact" guide on the top of this section. Follow it and you're moving on process will generally go well. Cheers! Edited January 8, 2015 by Light Breeze
Author Neph_Deff Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) The reason I say rebound is because I know he knows that deep down it wont work out with her as she is moving away and is too young. He is actually a better person than this, his best friend (the one he made a bet with) is an immature jerk and they are each others only friend and is a major influence on my ex. Also an extra question. It has been just over 5 weeks since we broke up. He cleaned out his room the other day and went inside to his mum with a sad look saying he found some of my things. His mum replies that he should do the right thing and give it back to me in person and he replies with "one day". I still have a heap of his things also. Should I wait for him to contact me for it first? is there a reason he is hanging on to my things? Thanks for your reply, appreciate it! Edited January 8, 2015 by Neph_Deff extra info
Recommended Posts