Hesjustnotthatin2u Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I've been dating a guy for the past two months. I have had a pretty wide array of guys I've dated in my past that has all failed miserably. This guy is something different. I have never felt this way before, and I have never felt so cared about and loved by any man before. Even in my past 2 year relationships. I've always been insecure about myself. But I try my best to be confident around him. We are getting more comfortable around eachother as time goes on and we get to know eachother, and there's been a few instances lately where I've drank too much and end up saying some really jealous comments. When I drink, I have no filter, and get a bit sensitive. I even went so far as to ask his best friend what the deal was with his ex girlfriend. (they broke up over a year ago.) Yes, I am very embarrassed by this, especially since he went back and told him. Shame on me. But this is why I'm here. I made another comment tonight to him, sober, over text, if he was the type of guy to like a lot of girls in his life time. I don't know where I was going with the text, and I instantly regretted it upon sending it. He kind of snapped and told me to stop asking him about other girls all the time and to relax. It turned into a heated discussion for a few minutes and I could tell he was a little irritated that I seemed jealous. I told him I'm sorry it seemed that way and I swore I wasn't crazy. He joked back that he didn't want a crazy jealous girlfriend, and we started teasing eachother back and forth about it. I know he's starting to see that I can get jealous.. and I know he's not gonna let this fly. He's not gonna tolerate that. I REALLY like him. I don't want to mess this one up. And I can fully admit that this is my problem and I need to work on this. How can I stop being so insecure and jealous and stop worrying about his ex girlfriend and everything?? He also has a lot of lady friends. I don't want him to think I'm crazy. Please help -__-
Assada Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 What you do to overcome this is, you read, you study you become good at something, you take up hobbies to better yourself, and become confident within. People get jealous because they feel that they're not good enough. So, improve yourself 2
todreaminblue Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) as another poster has suggested having firm interests of your own being independent in your own emotions...taking up some time where you enjoy your thoughts and what you are doing....i like writing on loveshack i fidn it soothing...even when i dont feel well...i come on here....share a smile or two......try and help someone..my brain is seriously fuddled at the moment....i actually want to do my family history to occupy myself....but i am too sick to concentrate on that.....it is so involved......so many names........so you are stuck with me answering you.....;0) ...jealousy happens, its what you do when you feel it that matters....try to think of all the good things...and dont pre-empt anything with a guy who is good to you......take up writing journaling your thoughts and come back to them in a clearer state of mind without jealousy clouding your judgement and rationale....deb Edited January 8, 2015 by todreaminblue 1
Gaeta Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Jealousy is about lack of confidence : You don't believe you have what it takes to keep his full attention. It is also about control : You think if you know every little details of his romantic life, where he is, what he does, then you kind of control him. You need to learn to let go and let life unfold the way it's meant to unfold. If he wants to cheats he will no matter how you snoop in his life. If he cheats, he cheats, if he leaves he leaves. You cannot control ANY of it, if it happens you will handle it when you get there and life will go on. I suggest to read Anthony Robins 'The Giant Within'.
Recommended Posts