DC77 Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I've found some very helpful and relative threads on this site and figured I would trust to put this out there for some intelligent feedback...I recently ended a short lived relationship. A month and a half to be exact. And we never moved past the "dating" stage." He is a divorcee. But one of the reasons I clicked him was he specifically said he wasn't looking for a hookup. And upon meeting he appeared stable and together, but by the end seem to be coming apart at the seams. Not over his ex, but over his own identity. We were quite compatible and caring. He was attentive. Considerate. Chivalrous. A good father. He opened up to me about himself. His relationship. Home life. Dreams. Goals. He never disappeared. He seemed like a genuinely good guy, except we didn't see eye to eye about multi dating. I can't know how I feel about a person in only a month, but I take it one at a time to get to know someone. And Once I decide to sleep with someone, I don't sleep around. He was of the multi dating mindset. It's not that I'm looking for the husband commitment, I just can't get on board with the whole multiple partners bandwagon. We continued to have sex with the understanding if and when he were to sleep with someone else, I could only give him friendship...Well he slept with someone. A day after we had spent the weekend together. And a day before New Year's Eve, in which he had invited me to a party and meet his friends. He confessed everything on NYE, but left the door open to still go to the party. I decided for the sake of the Holiday to keep to our plans and deal with it after the new year. We were able to put animosity aside and had a very nice New Years. His friends were warm and welcoming. We all meshed really well. Some of them even inviting me to future events and hanging out. He was doting and affectionate. Everyone was none the wiser. Thought we were a cute couple. The next day we had the talk. I stuck to my guns. I can not tolerate other women in a sexual relationship. He gave me the age old "not ready for a relationship." I swear you never know if this is truth or cop out. But if it were up to him we would still be dating. And he said he truly wanted to be friends. Again age old adage but he said that it wasn't just lip service. He values me. It was teary and civil. Neither of us wanted to let go... But I am now finding myself angry at him. The way he went about it all. His timing. His deceptive profile. And confused. Why did he open up to me. Why did he want to introduce me to his friends. And finding it difficult to find a place where I can offer a friendship even though I told him I would. I'm assuming perhaps some day But should I even bother?
Light Breeze Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) If you still have feelings for him? Terrible idea. It's like self mutilation, especially if and when you get a front row view of his love/sex life. Now after you purge all of your infatuation for him, then by all means go. But, I doubt this will happen because I bet when that time comes you're going to be with someone new and forget about him entirely. At only 1 1/2 months of casual dating, you're probably gonna move on fairly easy. Edited January 8, 2015 by Light Breeze
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