Paigeturner Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Met a guy few months ago n it started as a mutually agreed fwb thing but now I've fallen for him which I know is really stupid! At this point think I should discuss with him but we don't discuss emotions no idea how to start conversation. There's a v v slight chance he may like me too so don't wanna burn my bridges but also don't wanna come over as a bunny boiler!! Just wanna be honest n not get hurt any more than I really have to please help
WonderWoman911 Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Since you only met him a few months ago, I wouldn't bring up your feelings to him right now.You don't want to mess up a good thing that you have going with this guy. You may scare him off and he could possibly start to detach himself from you. I would continue enjoying the way things are going,take it slow, and allow things to progress gradually.
Author Paigeturner Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 Thanks for reply, thing is I already think he's losing interest. He's away a lot with work and this also leaves him unable to stay in touch as he's in v outta the way places. Last time we met up we actually spent time at his place just sitting talking rather than doing u know what. Think this has freaked him out a bit. He's being distant but still v flirty he's v hard to read
WonderWoman911 Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Ur welcome.So you think the time spent talking at his place instead of having sex freaked him out?
Author Paigeturner Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 Yea I think it did a bit. He is I think a bit of a commitment phobe. He doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't have kids (both 42) we met online and his profile clearly stated he only wanted a casual set up. If he comes to my place sometimes it's like he can't get away fast enough. When we text he focuses on the practical (when n where we're meeting) or being flirty (focus on the physical again). But ... I have been trying to play this breezy, not texting him all the time (once I've text I don't text again till I get a reply), non committal easy going girl) not how I normally am in relationships but that hasn't worked too well for me in the past. But maybe he thinks I don't want a relationship? Although I've tried dropping very subtle hints - comments like 'I love spending time with you' and taking an interest in his work and other areas of his life he doesn't really reciprocate this. Tbh I don't think he's interested in anything but the physical and he's maybe even getting bored of me that way now
salparadise Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Use more netlingo. That'll make his PUTR FLTUR
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Falling for a FWB happens. I think you have to tell him otherwise you will just torture yourself. If he returns your affections & wants to start a relationship, great. If he doesn't you have to stop sleeping together because it's no longer emotionally healthy. I confessed my feelings to a FWB & it turned into a 12 year relationship if you count the time we were only FWB. Another FWB confessed feelings for me, which I didn't share so I ended it because it wasn't fair to continue. It took a while for us to talk again & it was never the same.
Author Paigeturner Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Text him Fri, he apparently didn't feel the same as in not looking for a relationship but has now turned up on another dating site I'm on stating 'wants a relationship'. I don't know what to think do I ask him/contact him again? Something weird he's put on his profile is doesn't wanna date someone with a fear of flying (which I have but I still fly I just don't especially enjoy it). I'm also wondering if it was just double standards, I wasn't good enough, cos I'm a single mum?
WonderWoman911 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't contact or ask him anything. I would just let it be. As you seen his behaviors towards you, he's not interested. I'm sure you're a great person and you'll find someone who is compatible to you and who will give you the time, attention, and care you desire. Don't dwell on this guy. There's more fish in the sea. Just learn from this and the next guy you become involved with, don't fall for him to soon. Protect your heart to avoid going through this again.
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