sanne Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Me and my ex have gone through quite a rollercoaster, and quite frankly we just couldn't work out our problems in the end. I don't think either of us were ready for a serious type of relationship at all. Anyways, I find that I still miss the good parts of our relationship, and I hope that one day we may rekindle what we once had. After the breakup, she told me that she wants to be able to get over me and that she doesn't think we can be friends. A few days later she's telling me she wants me in her life as a friend. She's so wishy washy I just don't know what the hell she wants at all. I don't even know if being her friend is a good thing to do. If she really wants to get over me then I think me doing NC would be the right thing to do? Plus, I'm not sure i'll be able to effectively get over her if I'm still friends with her. I don't know, i'm pretty damn confused right now, debating on what is the right thing to do.
dreaming4ever Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 I went through this exact situation before. A guy that I was completely in love with broke up with me....and said that despite the fact that he didn't think we should be together he still wanted to be my best friend. It hurt like hell....and I cried endlessly but I knew I had to tell him that I couldn't do that. Yes that sounds weird but I did it because you're right....you can't detatch yourself from someone and fully get over them unless they're not around. Time apart with NC definitely makes things heal. Otherwise everytime you see them, it's like re-opening the wound. That's what it was like for me anyways. And the reason you may think she's being wishy-washy is because she, herself, probably doesn't even know what she wants. Breaking up sucks...you're confused....not sure what to say....afraid to lose someone close to you forever. First she said she can't be around you anymore and then she said she wanted to be your friend. I did the same thing but only because I had it in my head that we would get back together after he saw how great I looked when we were hanging out as "just friends"....which actually worked for me. So ya....she might be thinking that herself. You have to figure out what you want....and decide from there....cuz I don't know many people that have been able to be with someone and then just be their friend later...things inevitably get weird/messy because of your past.....well, good luck...hope I helped.
loneyBird Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 If sex isn't an issue....( the whole friends with benefits thing is hell...btw) I'd say she honestly values the time you both had together and probably doesn't want to lose the good parts. If you can handle this without feeling like your heart is torn to a billion peices every time you see her.... then that is awesome and by all means go for it! But if you think that isn't the case the best thing to do would be to stay away and have a break for a while.
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