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why was i afraid to have sex with her


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Posted

i date dthis girl for a few months. totally thought she was awesome and loved her but for some reason i just never could have sex with her. she was 24 and only had sex with two people. i wanted to bad but i loved her and i wanted out relationship to be more than just sex. i wanted to love her not the idea of having sex with her

 

has anyone else went through something like this?

Posted

cant you love her and the idea of having sex with her at the same time.

 

Why not just tell her that you dont wanna have sex yet?

Were you mute at the time?... Taken some kinda vow of silence

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Posted
cant you love her and the idea of having sex with her at the same time.

 

Why not just tell her that you dont wanna have sex yet?

Were you mute at the time?... Taken some kinda vow of silence

 

 

we would fool around just never had sex.idk..i just wanted it to mean something...my past was me sleeping around. i truly loved this girl

Posted
we would fool around just never had sex.idk..i just wanted it to mean something...my past was me sleeping around. i truly loved this girl

 

You are talking about her in the past tense. You should have just communicated this to her when you were with her.

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Posted
You are talking about her in the past tense. You should have just communicated this to her when you were with her.

 

 

didnt want her thinking i was weak

  • Like 1
Posted

Since you brought up she's only been with two people, I'm taking a shot in the dark that you have her classified as more virginal and you like that but are having trouble sleeping with it. And you say your past is sleeping around a lot. So are you afraid if she sleeps with you, you'll lose respect for her, that it will burst your bubble? The ol Madonna/wh*re syndrome? It's just a shot in the dark. I'm hoping I'm wrong.

  • Like 1
Posted
didnt want her thinking i was weak

 

 

what do you consider weakness....abstaining from sex is not a weakness...shows strength of character, responsible outlook, shows you place precedence on love in the relationship not sex also takes will power...so ill repeat what do you find weak... ..deb

  • Author
Posted
Since you brought up she's only been with two people, I'm taking a shot in the dark that you have her classified as more virginal and you like that but are having trouble sleeping with it. And you say your past is sleeping around a lot. So are you afraid if she sleeps with you, you'll lose respect for her, that it will burst your bubble? The ol Madonna/wh*re syndrome? It's just a shot in the dark. I'm hoping I'm wrong.

 

 

no i wanted her tobe fully on board with us having sex, i didnt want it to be just sex, i wanted it to be us making love

Posted

Did you look down on the women you slept with casually? Objectify them as sluts or whatever? If you had an unhealthy view of the women you slept with casually instead of respecting them as humans, even if it was only a one time deal, then yeah it's going to bite you in the ass when you try to sleep with someone you actually love, once you've formed that association.

 

But people can grow, and they can change themselves via their own introspection and will. Perhaps before you didn't truly understand let alone respect and appreciate the sacred aspects behind sex, but maybe you're starting to understand that now. Maybe someday you're gonna learn that emotional intimacy is as beautiful as it can be frightening, and that's okay.

Posted

Why did it end if you loved her so much?

 

The term making love makes me sick in my mouth a little. It's a really creepy expression to me. :sick:

Posted
Why did it end if you loved her so much?

 

The term making love makes me sick in my mouth a little. It's a really creepy expression to me. :sick:

 

why is it that way to you?....deb

Posted
why is it that way to you?....deb

 

Because it's totally cheesy and cringey. apart from that it makes no sense. And it makes it all lovey dovey and crap.

  • Like 1
Posted
Why did it end if you loved her so much?

 

The term making love makes me sick in my mouth a little. It's a really creepy expression to me. :sick:

 

I would agree with you to the point if you're feeling like actually making love, and I hope you do sometime, that that's something best done with the one you love rather than talked about in casual conversation like, Me and my dearest one made love last night." Although Pepe Le Pew managed to make a career of it, didn't he?

  • Author
Posted
Did you look down on the women you slept with casually? Objectify them as sluts or whatever? If you had an unhealthy view of the women you slept with casually instead of respecting them as humans, even if it was only a one time deal, then yeah it's going to bite you in the ass when you try to sleep with someone you actually love, once you've formed that association.

 

But people can grow, and they can change themselves via their own introspection and will. Perhaps before you didn't truly understand let alone respect and appreciate the sacred aspects behind sex, but maybe you're starting to understand that now. Maybe someday you're gonna learn that emotional intimacy is as beautiful as it can be frightening, and that's okay.

 

 

girls i slept with before i neevr felt real strong for or i slept with girls who i wasnt datin so this was different

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