cottom Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I have been meeting a girl, I honestly can't tell if it is serious or not because it seems to swing in and out of seriousness. Her first bf was a steroid abusing jealous guy who, when they would argue, would hit her and smash her stuff. We talked about it the other day and she said that she enjoyed it, it was funny when she was covered in bruises. Her next serious bf was a drug abusing, constantly out drinking, party every night dick. 7 days a week he would snort some lines, take some pills, drink a load and party. She mentioned him a few times, the first saying he was the most attractive guy shes been with. Then she said she liked his personality and she enjoyed him going out all the time because he was fun. Then she said how hung he was (more of a visual illusion IMO because he was only 5ft 4). She also said he would probably be dead soon because of how much he takes, he cheated on her and when she found out she said that its okay he can do it as long as she knows but then changed her mind. Then there is me, i am a few years older than both of these guys and have been in abusive relationships in the past where we have both argued verbally and physically and i could never do that to anyone again as ive seen the hurt it caused each other. Ive also lived the whole lifestyle of drinking every night, partying, around drugs and just generally being fun. Now though im settled down, have a 9-5 big shot career, work away monday to friday and dont really bother with those old mates because theyve all settled down in to their own families. I drink but not to excess, i'm the good guy to the girl and stay clean. After she said that though i just feel like im the boring old guy thats their to settle down and am just taking her fun away.
Satu Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Get more involved with her and you're buying into a world of pain. But you know that, don't you? 2
Assada Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 The good thing is that you didnt feel like the White Knight ready to save her. I thought that, thats what this post was going to be about, when I started reading. The fact is, even if you are that old boring dude, some chick is going to really appreciate that, I know. I'm an old soul myself, and I met a girl that liked older men, in the past, and she loves it, for whatever reason. You can only live your truth bro 1
DivorcedDad123 Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 She sounds like a train wreck that thrives on drama. If you stick around, be prepared to get caught up in it. She needs a dose of self respect. 2
preraph Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Though you've changed (and good on you for that), I'm afraid you're still attracted to the women who would tolerate it. I think it's time you took some time out to grow into your new self and make yourself stop dating chaos. Just move on once you know you've attracted another one. Try someone different. Usually that attraction happens because on some level it is familiar to us, their tolerance, the way it can seem to bounce off them. If you grew up with it at all, you learn how to relate to it. But it will cause you misery if you don't make yourself pick someone healthier. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 some people grow out of lifestyles and make serious changes has she made a change herself not in picking you to be with but in herself and what she finds fun ...i used to be the fun girl....a source of entertainment......apparently i am a real comedian after a few drinks....i still get asked to be the fun girl ....bordering on harassment....and i dont get invited to parties as much anymore...which is fine by me.......i left it behind me...in saying that ...i was a pretty wildchild........does she still want to party do you sense a longing there...............deb 1
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