cakepound Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Hello everybody, I'm trying to make this as short as possible and look forward to hearing your suggestions and opinions on the following matter. We're co-students and are in the same group of friends, so we see eachother almost daily. Months ago at a little party we started to get closer, talking much, cuddling, he basically told me he was crushing on me, I gave him a little kiss on the neck. At the back of my mind I knew he was in a long distance relationship so I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and just thought the alcohol and not having his girl around made him act the way he did. But I was wrong, for example a few weeks later we were at the same club and he always tried to make some physical contact and didn't want me to leave.The next weeks there was always some kind of happening (complementing, teasing, staring at me etc) that made me certain he does have a thing for me and eventually he broke up with his girl. When this happened we had very little contact so I actually was ready to move on. Then he started doing things that made me think I should give him another shot but for some reason we're stuck in a zone that's between friendship and relationship. I asked him to come with me to a pary which he declined because he had to study but would love to come next time. The thing is I moved temporarily to another city and so I thought giving him my address would make clear that I want him visit me but he never even hinted at doing so. I'm really not sure what's going on with us. There's something between us and honestly I don't think I'm too subtle but it feels like he's always backing off when it's getting interesting. What's your take on it? What should I do? Is he afraid of ruining our friendship or think I might reject him?
darkmoon Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) studying is demading, not sure what others will say, but you have no need to torture yourself, or to chase him, he will hopefully emarge with amazing qualifications, and because he is studying he might not want to stop, not even for love, bad timing is what could be wrong here, if he does not want to visit you, quietly date others til he does Edited January 7, 2015 by darkmoon
Author cakepound Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 studying is demading, not sure what others will say, but you have no need to torture yourself, or to chase him, he will hopefully emarge with amazing qualifications, and because he is studying he might not want to stop, not even for love, bad timing is what could be wrong here, if he does not want to visit you, quietly date others til he does Thank you for your answer. When I said he needed to study he had an assignment due a couple days later which I understand but I feel like he could have suggested another day to hang out together if he was really into me. Actually I'm better than him in school and I would think I could actually help him to get better, but maybe he's afraid to be distracted? I really don't know.
darkmoon Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) Thank you for your answer. When I said he needed to study he had an assignment due a couple days later which I understand but I feel like he could have suggested another day to hang out together if he was really into me. Actually I'm better than him in school and I would think I could actually help him to get better, but maybe he's afraid to be distracted? I really don't know. do not offer to help him if as you say he is not as smart as you, it could seem highly insulting, demeaning etc., he might not like you for the offer based on his shortcomings, now you are just chasing him with an excuse i fed you, proceed with caution, an offer to type stuff for him is as far as i would go, a regular lil barbie doll, and/or date others, you can not force him to visit you Edited January 7, 2015 by darkmoon
Author cakepound Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 I think this convo is going in the wrong direction. I just meant that it's not like he doesn't know I'm very focused on my studies too. We've been studying together, that's not the problem. And sorry but why would I want to type something for him? I'm not a secretary. I know and I don't want to force him to do anything but still I'd like to understand what he sees in me, or not. I'm talking to other guys but I know once we'll spend time again it will sooner or later be the same.
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