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Why do guys constantly think a girl is going to "trap" them by getting pregnant?

spanishchick00

By spanishchick00
in General Relationship Discussion

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spanishchick00 Established Member

spanishchick00

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Aren't the majority of pregnancies unplanned anyway in a out of wedlock situation? I know 2 women that had an "accidental" pregnancy-one was 19, wasn't married-he was in the military so he left for awhile while she finished college. She was lucky to have parents to actually take her of her daughter. They got married 7 years later. Then I know this 1 woman who was probably 36 years old-she was dating this guy for a few months and he already has a child from a previous relationship-she all of a sudden got knocked up-and I was really surprised-didn't know until I saw picture of her at her baby shower. She had a few break-ups and was the only one in her social circle that wasn't married/didn't have kids. They got married a year later. Hmm..I'm thinking maybe they purposely trapped the guys they were in a relationship with to keep them around forever-because in the end they eventually got married and the men didn't have a choice but to settle down. Because paying child support for 18 years would be a crappy thing to do.

clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

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Stats and research please...besides "I know this one woman"

 

I don't have "stats".. I would say most or almost all women are capable of this depending on the situation or what is going on in their life at that moment. Not sure how stats could be compiled, as most women who did this would probably never admit this..

Country_Girl Established Member

Country_Girl

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I'd say because it happens.

 

I had 2 former friends in high school that swore they were on birth control when they got pregnant. One was called out, her dad found her unused birth control between her bedroom mattresses. She admitted she stopped taking it. The other friend admitted she hadn't taken BC for two weeks before she got pregnant, claimed she "thought she would still be okay". But heck, that was maybe 16-17 years ago.

 

I haven't run into this in my age group (33 yrs old) and never really had anyone suspicious of me not being on BC. If I was on it I would say so, if not, I would say so.

 

I certainly wouldn't blame a guy for thinking this, just because I've seen it happen.

mario_C Established Member

mario_C

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LOL! It is far more common than that.
The focus of my comment was not about statistical rates or how often or not it happens. My comment was about being careful and understanding that men and women both need to be careful. But everyone believes what they want to believe, so go ahead and ignore me. Edited by mario_C
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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Because it happens. Happened to me three times. Theyre on the shot, or have their tubes tied, or whatever the damned story. Your half wasted and roll with it. Three weeks later theyre coming at you with a positive test and your like WTF!?! Then they have the audacity to say they are against abortion on moral grounds and your like WTF?!?!??!?!!?!?

 

I dont know how women like that can live with themselves but trust me they do exist.

What do you mean "women like that," aren't YOU the one who was half wasted, had sex with a stranger and didn't take care of your own birth control and protection from STD's? Yikes! :eek:

 

The women who are on BC and lie so you dont come inside them or to get you to wear a condom, thats a minor pet peeve but at least it doesnt come with life long implications.
Seriously?!?! I don't know about lying so a guy won't come inside you if you're on BC, but OF COURSE he should wear a condom whether she's on it or not! Unless she's your girlfriend or wife and you've both been tested for STD's!!
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serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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I don't have "stats".. I would say most or almost all women are capable of this depending on the situation or what is going on in their life at that moment. Not sure how stats could be compiled, as most women who did this would probably never admit this..

 

Well I would say that that's a crappy thing to say about most or almost all women. It says more about you than about them.

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Giggle Established Member

Giggle

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My youngest is the result of being with a guy who swore he was sterile and then intentionally got me pregnant. Yup. Happens in reverse. Happened to by older sister too.

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Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

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What do you mean "women like that," aren't YOU the one who was half wasted, had sex with a stranger and didn't take care of your own birth control and protection from STD's? Yikes! :eek:

 

Seriously?!?! I don't know about lying so a guy won't come inside you if you're on BC, but OF COURSE he should wear a condom whether she's on it or not! Unless she's your girlfriend or wife and you've both been tested for STD's!!

 

That's happened to me in the past. When a partner complains too much about not wanting to wear a condom, I would either say I am not on the pill or that I forget it all the time.

Worked like a charm. You' d be amazed at how many men think condoms are only to prevent pregnancies and will jump to the occasion to not wear it as soon as the woman is on the pill.

 

 

But to be honest, it's been years since I've had a partner who was winy about condoms. Guess I learned to pick them better...

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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But to be honest, it's been years since I've had a partner who was whiny about condoms. Guess I learned to pick them better...

 

Good point!

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clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

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The focus of my comment was not about statistical rates or how often or not it happens. My comment was about being careful and understanding that men and women both need to be careful. But everyone believes what they want to believe, so go ahead and ignore me.

 

Well, I guess women can control pregnancy before, during, and after tha act.. Men do not have this choice..

 

It's really not that easy to get pregnant unless you really want to.. Must be ovulating, not on the pill, no condoms, be with a guy who finishes inside, then no day after pill. Sad and irresponsible that there are ever "unwanted" or accidental pregnancies.. The guy can do his best and wear a condom, but if it breaks the woman still had control before and after.

autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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Well, I guess women can control pregnancy before, during, and after tha act.. Men do not have this choice..

 

It's really not that easy to get pregnant unless you really want to.. Must be ovulating, not on the pill, no condoms, be with a guy who finishes inside, then no day after pill. Sad and irresponsible that there are ever "unwanted" or accidental pregnancies.. The guy can do his best and wear a condom, but if it breaks the woman still had control before and after.

 

So what DO you think of women in general?

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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You' d be amazed at how many men think condoms are only to prevent pregnancies and will jump to the occasion to not wear it as soon as the woman is on the pill.

 

But to be honest, it's been years since I've had a partner who was winy about condoms. Guess I learned to pick them better...

 

Oh yeah lots & lots of guys would rather go bareback. Their greater concern is pregnancy than an STD., unless you're a ONS. Even then if the guy puts pleasure above safety and thinks he may never see the woman again (and she doesn't know his real name/address/work site), quite a few will take their chances and be fine with visiting the doc for some ABx. That's what I find strange in some of the post from women on here who blame guys if they are unhappy with their gf/wife getting pregnant because they did not wear a condom as well as her being on BC.

 

It will be better guys but also I think guys get a bit smarter and don't make as many horny dick driven decisions as they get older. They hear others bad stories plus better appreciate the unwanted longterm consequences plus also realize women in their 30s might be more inclined to want to proceed with a pregnancy and settle down with a baby (than their younger fun loving/career focused counterparts) so will be more savvy on reducing their risk (if they don't want anymore kids or don't see a longterm future with the woman). *No offense meant

clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

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So what DO you think of women in general?

 

Well, if men were able to get pregnant, I am assuming many of them might want to "trap" a certain woman if also given the opportunity.. However that is just not how it works..

 

I think women are just people like everyone else. Given the right circumstances they will not always do the right thing..

 

I have known several men that this has happened to, so i do not believe it is some random fluke or oddity.

 

In some cases it is not as blatant, as the woman might want to even marry. Then divorce quickly with the minor children to collect child support/alimony or just be happy with the children being raised for a couple of years and then many years of child support.

Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

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It's really not that easy to get pregnant unless you really want to.

 

And that is why so many men get their partners 'accidentally' pregnant.

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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What is it with guys worrying about a girl purposely getting pregnant? They always think a girl "lies" about being on birth control. I find that insulting. Do guys really think about this when they are dating a girl? I'm not understanding this, if they say that, does that mean they don't ever want kids?

 

Catholic guilt combined with them thinking they're such a prize.

 

You just gotta tell them that you'd kill their spawn with a pill cause there's no way in hell that you want to give birth to their offspring.

 

That should fix that.

clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

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Catholic guilt combined with them thinking they're such a prize.

 

You just gotta tell them that you'd kill their spawn with a pill cause there's no way in hell that you want to give birth to their offspring.

 

That should fix that.

 

But wait a second...

 

What is the OP asking?

 

I am assuming she meets a guy, dates him, and says the "Don't worry I am on the pill"

 

So, you are saying if a guy might not trust her, he either thinks he is such a great prize, or has Catholic guilt?

 

I wonder how many moms would tell their sons "ok honey.. Anytime a girl says she is on the pill you can trust her. Women never lie and their word can be trusted 100% of the time. "

SpiralOut Established Member

SpiralOut

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If a man thinks this about a woman he's dating, he shouldn't be dating her. Simple.

 

I've never had a man I'm dating thinking I would do that. Mainly because I have my own dreams, ambitions, career and the rest to work on and they know the kind of woman I am where "trapping a man" is the LEAST of my concerns and I have zero desire to "trap" someone to be with them.

 

I want to get my career going foremost, I can get married before that, but babies, I was literally just telling my sister that I'm not going to have babies until my career is underway and I'm already married, so the whole "trapping a man" thing isn't anything I'd do and from a man talks to me and meets me and hears my plans there is nothing which would let him believe I would do that.

 

Further still, I always used condoms. This last relationship was the first I did not (after getting tested and getting the pill) because my bf at the time really had issues of sensitivity and not being able to feel with condoms. But aside from that, it's back to condoms for me so a man has no chance to believe I'm lying about BC since he's the one wearing the condom and has brought it himself.

 

But like I said: if you feel a woman is going to do that, clearly you think poorly of her and don't trust her and obviously see her as a woman with nothing better to do, and if so, you're the fool for continuing to date a woman you feel that way about.

 

 

:love:

 

 

This exactly. I guess there are some guys who haven't dated this type of woman. They dated too many crazies which caused them to lose trust in all women. I can understand that, but it's still very annoying to pay for some other woman's mistake. I don't want someone thinking that I have nothing better to do than to raise his kid. I have other goals and dreams that are more important to me than that. In fact one of my worst fears is to be with a man who knocks me up then refuses to marry me. These days, getting pregnant does NOT automatically keep a guy around!! Getting married is important to me. It would be foolish of me (and crazy) to just run off and get knocked up on purpose.

 

 

Also, I do see men as human beings with feelings that matter. I wouldn't want to ruin his life on purpose. I'm not that type of person. I would feel insulted if my man thought me capable of doing that. I would tell him to go date someone else if that's what he thinks of me.

Edited by SpiralOut
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clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

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Let me explain how this plays out..

 

Guy meets a girl.. They "date" (OP does not mention how long or extensive this dating is.)

 

They have sex.. She says "Don't worry i am on the pill".. She is obviously saying not to wear a condom, and don't worry about finishing inside.

 

So, it seems the females on this thread are saying that guys should just blindly trust any woman who tells them this? Any girl they are "dating"?

 

Ummm... No way.. I would advise any guy who meets a girl who says "i am on the pill don't worry" to actually worry twice as much and be sure to wear a condom...

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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The whole point of dating is getting to know someone before committing. And while I would never tell a woman I'm dating that I expect deceit, and while I wouldn't date someone I inherently distrusted, trust has to be earned with time. Dating alone or liking someone is not sufficient cause for this level of trust. Nor is caring about someone.

 

I know of at least one woman who lied about pretty much everything that mattered for 20 years. She didn't stop lying, I just stopped listening.

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clevelander321 Established Member

clevelander321

Posted
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The whole point of dating is getting to know someone before committing. And while I would never tell a woman I'm dating that I expect deceit, and while I wouldn't date someone I inherently distrusted, trust has to be earned with time. Dating alone or liking someone is not sufficient cause for this level of trust. Nor is caring about someone.

 

 

I know of at least one woman who lied about pretty much everything that mattered for 20 years.

 

 

Exactly... It amazes me how women expect men to believe everything out of their mouth just while "dating".. Especially something as important as this..

 

I have been in these situations before ...Many of these women tell you before the first time you ever have sex with them.. Maybe on the third date .. "oh, dont worry I am on the pill.. Finish inside.." Talk about a red flag..

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Posted

For the religious among us

 

Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips

Micah 7:5

 

 

Note that "the woman who lies in your embrace" would have been expected to be your wife.

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ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
The whole point of dating is getting to know someone before committing .....trust has to be earned with time. Dating alone or liking someone is not sufficient
Seems the majority of women on here have exes that were jerks/cheaters/douchebags/selfish pricks etc in their history. I'm sure all those guys were considered wonderful initially too.

MB -I do generally find career orientated, got their **** together, attractive women tend to not be the ones to have 'oops babies'.

  • Like 3
CALOVELY Established Member

CALOVELY

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Posted
For the religious among us

 

 

Micah 7:5

 

 

Note that "the woman who lies in your embrace" would have been expected to be your wife.

 

The end of that passage is: "For son treats father contemptuously, Daughter rises up against her mother, Daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man's enemies are the men of his own household."

 

 

Sons and brothers are the enemy. What a way to live.

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

Posted
Posted (edited)
The end of that passage is: "For son treats father contemptuously, Daughter rises up against her mother, Daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man's enemies are the men of his own household."

 

Sons and brothers are the enemy. What a way to live.

 

 

Just going by what the bible says... for the religious among us. ;)

 

And how many stories of betrayal can be found in real life? If you really want to see some ugly family distrust, take a look at inheritance disputes.

Edited by Robert Z
Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Posted
Seems the majority of women on here have exes that were jerks/cheaters/douchebags/selfish pricks etc in their history. I'm sure all those guys were considered wonderful initially too.

 

 

Haha, no kidding!!! That should end the discussion right there.

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