Why do guys constantly think a girl is going to "trap" them by getting pregnant?

January 8, 2015

Women can see a condom during sex. Men can't see a women take a pill, it's that simple. That's where mistrust comes from. There is no visual proof. Again she has more security then the guy in the situation because she can see proof.

January 8, 2015

I don't go into a relationship with that assumption, and simply wouldn't date a guy about whom I might worry in that way. I think most if not all men would be offended at the thought that the woman they're dating worries - or worse, assumes - they're a rapist. The issue at hand is trust/suspicion.

It was your analogy, after all. It's not making your point for you, though, I don't think.

I am just saying you can never be too sure. Yes he will be offended if you suspected he might maybe be a rapist but you have to look out for yourself

January 8, 2015

Well, isn't that more an issue on the first few dates? Don't most women worry about most men until they get to know them? While concerns about pregnancy occur much farther down the line.

And the women clearly don't see this as anything like rape, even though in many ways, it is. But they feel entitled.

I may be the only man on earth not using a condom and hoping the pill will fail! I have often joked that I am trying to get her pregnant by accident.

Well from what I was thought some times rape is committed by the boy friend and not a stranger

January 8, 2015

If anyone is really so afraid of a woman doing that to them, they can very well protect themselves by not having sex with her (and really, why are you having sex with someone you can't trust?). Go to an escort and have her sign a child support waiver.

January 8, 2015

If anyone is really so afraid of a woman doing that to them, they can very well protect themselves by not having sex with her (and really, why are you having sex with someone you can't trust?). Go to an escort and have her sign a child support waiver.

Because having an active sex life predate marriage and committed relationships in almost all cases. The fear applies to all women. How can you tell until you have known each other for years? What you are suggesting is giving up sex with everyone but escorts and eventually your wife.

It took me twenty years to fully understand that I had no idea who I had married. And I seriously doubt that I am unique in that department.

January 8, 2015

Women can see a condom during sex. Men can't see a women take a pill, it's that simple. That's where mistrust comes from. There is no visual proof. Again she has more security then the guy in the situation because she can see proof.

Condoms can be tampered with but yeah...at least you see them

January 8, 2015

Elswyth, child support does not belong to you it belongs to the child. A child support waiver is not valid in a court of law. You cannot legally sign away another person's rights. Many men have discovered this in court too late.

Unless you want to be a parent, enforce good BC practices on both partners part. As a female you can do your part, and can see your partners part, as a male, you have to trust your partner to some extent but you still need to wrap it up.

January 8, 2015

Well, the men who are scared may wear a condom and finish outside. I think it's very simple!

January 8, 2015

What is it with guys worrying about a girl purposely getting pregnant? They always think a girl "lies" about being on birth control. I find that insulting. Do guys really think about this when they are dating a girl? I'm not understanding this, if they say that, does that mean they don't ever want kids?

The men that say that are worried that they get the "wrong" girl pregnant, or are worried that they end up paying for the kid forever.

Some women do lie, some women do want to trap a man.

Unfortunately for the man, it is a trust issue, and just like some men do not trust a woman not to cheat on him, some do not trust women over BC.

It is also easier to blame the girl for being devious or "trapping" men, than it is for them to take ultimate responsibility and always "put something on the end of it".

January 8, 2015

Men can have control. They just don't want it.

Don't have sex. 100% effective.

Not an option? Use a condom. Less effective but still in your control.

But sex = pregnancy possibilities. Deal with it.

That is not much of a choice; not getting married is a better choice.

January 8, 2015

It all comes down to the woman having the final decision. Accidents (broken condoms) happen. Even when you've discussed things beforehand, there is nothing stopping a woman from changing her mind. I was in relationship with a woman and we'd had the children talk. She was against children and supported abortion. Many months after that conversation, she was a couple weeks late and told me if she was pregnant, she was keeping it. We'd had an accident, so it was possible. Once we found out she wasn't pregnant (she was having some other medical issue), I ended the relationship because the trust was completely gone. I don't think she was trying to trap me in this case though. It seemed to be just a change of heart.

January 8, 2015

Geeze, talk about abdication of responsibility.

If you don't want to have kids, wear a condom that you buy yourself, carry with you and put on yourself along with osme sort of spermicide inside it then dispose of it porperly after use, and if you are 100% absolutely sure you don't want kids, then get a vsectomy and if you aren't willing to do those things, then don't have sex. That way , it won't matter what those sneaky women are doing to try and trap you...

As for the idea that women control the situation, that's really nonsense. Better to assume a woman is not on brith control and act accordingly. If you don't like condoms, or she doesn't, that's unfortuneate, but it's one way to prevent unwanted pregnancy that men can have control over ( and it also prevents std's...also important)

BC pills are not without side effects taht can negatively affect a womanls health, and a man has zero control over whether or ot she takes them, so it's better for him to take responsibility for his own health and fertility.

January 8, 2015

We are all naïve and trusting at some point in our lives. I thought I was being responsible by having the discussion early and having a plan that was mutually agreed to. We agreed to abortion as a last resort if our other preventive measures failed. All of this was pointless due to "I changed my mind".

It was a wake-up call to me and I have a healthy sense of paranoia now. I no longer believe a woman's stance on abortion. I never finish inside a woman any more, even though they want me to because they enjoy the feeling. It's not going to happen unless I see medical proof that she is barren.

Geeze, talk about abdication of responsibility.

What about her abdication of responsibility to our previous agreement?

January 8, 2015

We are all naïve and trusting at some point in our lives. I thought I was being responsible by having the discussion early and having a plan that was mutually agreed to. We agreed to abortion as a last resort if our other preventive measures failed. All of this was pointless due to "I changed my mind".

It was a wake-up call to me and I have a healthy sense of paranoia now. I no longer believe a woman's stance on abortion. I never finish inside a woman any more, even though they want me to because they enjoy the feeling. It's not going to happen unless I see medical proof that she is barren.

What about her abdication of responsibility to our previous agreement?

Why not get a vasectomy and then it isn't a concern? Then you have full control of the responsibility of off spring.

I think someone's personal stance on abortion is very much a difficult one, for either gender, when it is actually needed to put into action. I think abstractly we may believe one thing but when reality happens, it can change. So, yes, I wouldn't assume anyone is actually going to agree to an abortion and I would just assume otherwise and plan accordingly.

I believe they are creating a birth control pill for men which will make things very interesting. I think it will give men more "control" and options outside of condoms and hopefully more men will choose it in combination with condoms (if they are not in a committed relationship).

January 8, 2015

We are all naïve and trusting at some point in our lives. I thought I was being responsible by having the discussion early and having a plan that was mutually agreed to. We agreed to abortion as a last resort if our other preventive measures failed. All of this was pointless due to "I changed my mind".

It was a wake-up call to me and I have a healthy sense of paranoia now. I no longer believe a woman's stance on abortion. I never finish inside a woman any more, even though they want me to because they enjoy the feeling. It's not going to happen unless I see medical proof that she is barren.

What about her abdication of responsibility to our previous agreement?

YOU weren't pregnant, or thought you were pregnant.

It is very easy to make "abortion agreements", but when there is a living child inside a woman, all agreements and preconceived ideas, go out the window because emotion and maternal feelings then kick in. The reality of abortion then cmes to the fore, and keeping the baby then seems a much better option

You were very naive to believe it would be otherwise, and to kick her out because she supposedly betrayed your trust... wow just wow!!

January 8, 2015

Why not get a vasectomy and then it isn't a concern? Then you have full control of the responsibility of off spring.

I'm likely going to get one in the near future as I'm approaching my mid-thirties and my stance on children has not changed. I didn't get one in the past because I was unsure if my stance would change.

I believe they are creating a birth control pill for men which will make things very interesting. I think it will give men more "control" and options outside of condoms and hopefully more men will choose it in combination with condoms (if they are not in a committed relationship).

I've been keeping track of this and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm beginning to wonder if there will be any man on earth who actually LIKES, respects, and trusts women for my daughter to marry. Cause I hope like heck she doesn't get stuck with a woman bashing, paranoid, whiner.

I don't know if this is directed at me. In any case, I'll bite. I like women and respect them. If you see anything in my posts that says otherwise, point it out. As for trust, it exists until it's gone. I do need to point out the irony of trust in a thread full of posts (many from women) saying not to trust women when it comes to birth control. I'll agree that I'm a bit paranoid, but I believe it's safer to be paranoid than constantly trusting and making the same mistakes over and over again. Sooner or later, one of those mistakes will have long-standing consequences. In the context of this thread, that's an 18-year financial commitment.

January 8, 2015

I'm likely going to get one in the near future as I'm approaching my mid-thirties and my stance on children has not changed. I didn't get one in the past because I was unsure if my stance would change.

I've been keeping track of this and I'm looking forward to it.

I don't know if this is directed at me. In any case, I'll bite. I like women and respect them. If you see anything in my posts that says otherwise, point it out. As for trust, it exists until it's gone. I do need to point out the irony of trust in a thread full of posts (many from women) saying not to trust women when it comes to birth control. I'll agree that I'm a bit paranoid, but I believe it's safer to be paranoid than constantly trusting and making the same mistakes over and over again. Sooner or later, one of those mistakes will have long-standing consequences. In the context of this thread, that's an 18-year financial commitment.

I think more importantly than just the financial commitment, is the idea that in the context of the thread, you are creating a life with someone that you haven't decided is the best possible partner for you to create a child with and so you are partnering with someone on a life long commitment without fully vetting them.

The importance, I don't think, is not the money. The importance is you are not setting your child up for success by not being as careful as possible to try and hedge as much as possible in their favor in regards to their other parent, one's own personal financial, emotional, psychological states, etc.

A vasectomy can be reversed if needed or there are IVF options even if one decides to have children and not reverse. My husband and I are doing IVF and his vasectomy is over 10 years old. But the doctor has said he could reverse him with a high success rate (based on the factors in my husband's situation) or we can do IVF - which we are doing.

January 8, 2015

Say what you will but I'd rather be paranoid and childless then be lax and have a commitment for the next 1/4 of my life.

January 8, 2015

Say what you will but I'd rather be paranoid and childless then be lax and have a commitment for the next 1/4 of my life.

Perhaps the best answer is to NOT start with the assumption that all women are out to get you with their special babymaking powers.....

January 8, 2015

Perhaps the best answer is to NOT start with the assumption that all women are out to get you with their special babymaking powers.....

The assumption by men is not that ALL women are out to get them, the assumption is an small indistinguishable number of women are. Because there is no way to seperate them from the rest of women who can be trusted they all get lumped into one big group. Nothing personal it's just the nature of the beast.

January 8, 2015

It is very easy to make "abortion agreements", but when there is a living child inside a woman, all agreements and preconceived ideas, go out the window because emotion and maternal feelings then kick in. The reality of abortion then cmes to the fore, and keeping the baby then seems a much better option
You were very naive to believe it would be otherwise, and to kick her out because she supposedly betrayed your trust... wow just wow!!

I'm curious as to how you would have handled the situation. I can't think of a real life situation, so let's go with a hypothetical. You're in a relationship with a man and he unilaterally makes a decision that commits you financially for 18 years when he previously agreed to not do that. Would you want to stay in that relationship?

I completely agree that I was very naïve. I know many women are prone to changing their minds on various things, but I did not expect it on such a life-changing scale. I know better now and I've adjusted my expectations accordingly.

January 8, 2015

Perhaps the best answer is to NOT start with the assumption that all women are out to get you with their special babymaking powers.....

I seriously doubt most men start with this mindset. All it takes is one bad experience with someone you trusted to realize the potential repercussions. I used to trust (rather blindly) many different things in life. This is not limited to dating. As you gain experience, you learn to be more wary. Can you honestly say that you're equally as trusting now as you were when you were much younger?

January 8, 2015

Most children born in America are accidents

January 8, 2015

Most children born in America are accidents

stats and research please?

January 8, 2015

Unintended Pregnancy in the United States

http://shriverreport.org/why-are-50-percent-of-pregnancies-in-the-us-unplanned-adrienne-d-bonham/

Edited January 8, 2015 by Revolver

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Why do guys constantly think a girl is going to "trap" them by getting pregnant?

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