gaius Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I think I'd feel something was missing if she didn't get my blood boiling on occasion. 4
BluEyeL Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I agree that I would not prefer a partner who likes conflict. But I also don't want a partner who fears it or avoids it. Is best to just have someone emotionally stable, not flying off the handle all the time, while being able to tackle inevitable conflicts/disagreements, but is also flexible enough to pick their battles. 1
regine_phalange Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I have had in my life a tough time attracting women. However, the few times I do, things run typically smooth. I'm no longer looking for anything near perfection (never was). If you had to pick one of these women, which one would you pick? Each one has a flaw. The list is frankensteined from the very few women I have dated plus hypotheticals. I'm not really asking for advice (not even a real situation). I'm just curious as to which one people here would pick. You cannot say "I pick nobody, I have better options, or I'll wait it out till I die alone." A) Woman is fairly attractive, and a lot of fun and very intelligent. Good career. Very high compatibility. However, there is often friction and almost sure to be high intensity fights if a long term is pursued. B) Woman is fairly attractive, and is very friendly. Has a good job and is fun and low maintenance. However, there is a lack of compatibility due to English not being a first language and lack of high proficiency in speaking and writing. C) Woman is medium compatible, and speaks English fluently. Fun, and intelligent and good rapport, but definitely less attractive. D) Woman is more attractive, but has several children and deep financial troubles. She is ambitious, but in quite a hole. A very kind and caring woman. Not the highest compatibility, but decent, and fun and light hearted and no friction. Easy maintenance. I try to imagine them as men in order to choose. A) Sounds good for short term but for a long term relationship no. I don't like "real" friction that happens often. If it's friction for superficial things then okay. B) I wouldn't mind so much the lack of common mother language. I would be curious to date someone like that actually. It could be either very sexy or a disaster. I would pick this one! C) No. D) NO!!!
pteromom Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I would see where things go with B, perhaps, but if we couldn't get communicating, I would move on and find E. It's interesting to read everyone's opinions about A. I am a peace-lover and I do not like friction and conflict. I enjoy being able to rationally discuss issues and come to an agreement without drama. Some people love that high intensity, and those kind of people should definitely seek each other out and leave us peace lovers alone. That comment above about having the level of comfort and peace that you'd have with a best friend - that is exactly what I like. OP, don't settle for someone who isn't what you want. Move on - you can find someone who you are attracted to and who is on the same wavelength as you regarding what makes a good relationship. There's no right or wrong - it's about compatibility.
WomenWubber Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) I would most probably choose option A, because she has the highest compatibility and is attractive to boot. Probably not good for a LTR, but knowing myself that will be the last thing crossing my mind during the 'dating phase'. Option D would be a good deal without the children (dealbreaker). Option C seems fairly good even though she's less attractive. If things went downhill with option A, I would probably go for this one. Option C would be the least likely, because of lack of compatibility. Seems like too much work for too little reward. Edited January 9, 2015 by WomenWubber
bdhouston Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I'd likely go with C. I could deal with her not being as attractive if she was down and Earth, and we get along well.
venusishername Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) I also recognize myself in Woman A, so I am biased towards that choice. I personally like a challenge, but not necessarily baggage. I also shy from boring and safe bets. I like to be kept on my toes. I like passion in appropriate doses. So, A. Edited January 10, 2015 by venusishername
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