Ashley S Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I noticed guys that are 18 and 19 years old like me, and are interested in me. I am 21 years old, but I am very mature for my age. I was told many times how mature I am. I always tend to go for guys that are 23 to 35 years old. I hate the thought of being with someone who is younger than me. Unless they are really mature for their age, but I feel like I am dating a kid when I go out with an 18 year old. I know it's a weird way of thinking, I am not knocking every young guy, I am just wondering why it seems that the young guys who are 18 and 19 always have interest in me, and want to date me, but the guys in their 20's don't? Like I said people couldn't believe I was 21 years old, so I am very mature for my age. Is it how a girl carries herself? Is it because I have a bubbly personality? Lol. Just wondering. Thank you.
Rydo Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I know this one. It's because you aren't mature for your age. You only think you are. 11
Andy_K Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 There are different types of maturity. Mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, and so on. Based on your posting history, you're not as far ahead of the curve as you think you are on more than one of those. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 There are different types of maturity. Mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, and so on. Based on your posting history, you're not as far ahead of the curve as you think you are on more than one of those. This. Ashley, not to be unkind, but I think you might want to reflect on this a bit more. 2
Diezel Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I'm not even trying to be a smartass, but man, based on your threads and your posting history and the stuff you go through... I'm missing out on the "more mature than I look" part. What does it tell you that the younger guys are the ones trying to ask you out... that they think you are in their age range, regardless of how you think you act. 2
Assada Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I know this one. It's because you aren't mature for your age. You only think you are. Succinctly put! 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 I am not basing my maturity off of my personal opinion. I've stated that people said to me that I am "mature" for my age, and a lot were shocked to know that I am 21 years old. I may have immature or unintelligible posts, but I wouldn't consider myself a "normal 21 year old", because I am responsible, and I like to learn. I love college, and I do like to party at times, but I don't overdo it. I actually babysit a lot of my friends when we go out. I noticed a lot of these 18-19 year olds think it's cool to do drugs, smoke weed, party etc. I don't! I never was like that, but I don't think partying is "cool". There is a difference with me and these young guys. I am on a different wavelength. I don't have the same tendencies, thoughts, goals, and standards as them. I admit I can be immature at times. I think we all can be immature at times, but I wouldn't say I am generally a "immature" person. Thanks anyways for commenting, but I guess maybe these guys see my bubbly personality, and they assume I am on their level. I don't know. Just an assumption.
Lovebite Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Ashley, I understand where you are coming from. These people on this site are ridiculous. I notice in all of your posts you get bashed, and that is just ridiculous. As far as the younger guys.....well I think they do see your fun personality, and because they are young, that is what appeals to them. The older guys probably view you as a "wild child" therefore, they think you are not serious enough because they want a relationship. I know that's what you want too, but they probably don't see that. 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 Thanks Lovebite. I like open discussions, and conversations. I think the people on this site taken me to seriously. I am not completely confused or puzzled. I just have thoughts, and I want to have an open discussion about it. Opinions of all sorts is fascinating to me. I love discussions on personal topics, and general. I am very open minded, and I just love to write, and post questions on my personal experiences. I feel like it's an outlet in a way. It seems though I am not welcomed here, or my.posts are an annoyance. That saddens me because I.like this site, but yeah I feel like every time I post something to just have a discussion about it's going to be taken the wrong way. Lol, peoplen bash me in real life and I get bashed on the internet. I can't win anywhere Thank you for understanding Lovebite. I think you are right about young guys liking me. Good point!
Danda Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Ashley, I understand where you are coming from. These people on this site are ridiculous. I notice in all of your posts you get bashed, and that is just ridiculous. As far as the younger guys.....well I think they do see your fun personality, and because they are young, that is what appeals to them. The older guys probably view you as a "wild child" therefore, they think you are not serious enough because they want a relationship. I know that's what you want too, but they probably don't see that. It's the Tough Love Shack. Haha. It really is, though. More constructive criticism than vague criticism would probably be more helpful, though. But OP according to your threads you only attract young and/or mentally ill guys and no nice guys, just skimming through your thread history. There is a reason for it if you consistently attract the same type of guy and you have to do some reasonable introspection here. Lots of people have fun, bubbly personalities and it doesn't cause them to only attract mentally ill 18 year old a-holes. Ultimately only you can answer these sorts of questions, though. It's all about the introspection. I got slapped with a codependent badge some years ago and had to work on that **** in therapy, so I tend to be pretty familiar with personality dysfunction and how it often attracts other dysfunctional-ass people, from my own firsthand experience lol. I imagine others have had similar experience or at least observed it. That's why "bash" on you. It's not really meant as bashing. It's just people trying to help you see some stuff that is obvious but not pleasant to see. 1
Noproblem Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 age is just a number don't deny yourself of many good opportunities because you are trapped in this age idea about maturity because really at the end of the day, age does not decide how mature a person is! 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 It's the Tough Love Shack. Haha. It really is, though. More constructive criticism than vague criticism would probably be more helpful, though. But OP according to your threads you only attract young and/or mentally ill guys and no nice guys, just skimming through your thread history. There is a reason for it if you consistently attract the same type of guy and you have to do some reasonable introspection here. Lots of people have fun, bubbly personalities and it doesn't cause them to only attract mentally ill 18 year old a-holes. Ultimately only you can answer these sorts of questions, though. It's all about the introspection. I got slapped with a codependent badge some years ago and had to work on that **** in therapy, so I tend to be pretty familiar with personality dysfunction and how it often attracts other dysfunctional-ass people, from my own firsthand experience lol. I imagine others have had similar experience or at least observed it. That's why "bash" on you. It's not really meant as bashing. It's just people trying to help you see some stuff that is obvious but not pleasant to see. Yes, I understand. I realize my faults though. I just like to post to have open discussion and opinions, but I am not in dyer need to have solutions to what I post. I know that is ultimately up to me to figure out a solution. I just lime to write, share opinions, see other people's perspectives, and sometimes that helps me find a solution. Thank you for.commenting, and sharing your input. 1
Lovebite Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Yes, I understand. I realize my faults though. I just like to post to have open discussion and opinions, but I am not in dyer need to have solutions to what I post. I know that is ultimately up to me to figure out a solution. I just lime to write, share opinions, see other people's perspectives, and sometimes that helps me find a solution. Thank you for.commenting, and sharing your input. I completely understand because I do the same Ashley. People are way too serious on here. They think that people come on here desperately looking for answers and solutions.....and some might do, but I certainly know that you are not one of those! You are the type that is just curious, and likes to hear different perspectives. Nothing wrong with that. 1
SomeDude16 Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Where you meeting these guys? that might be the problem. 1
Diezel Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 We can only judge based on what we read. And what we've read has left a lot to be desired as far as maturity is concerned. You need to understand that our scope is very limited when it comes to the window of your life. If you don't grasp that concept, then you need to understand what it is you are posting. You say you want an open discussion. We are having one. You still arrive to your own conclusion. Forget anything we said, it's because you are "bubbly". What do we know? Right? 2
WonderKid Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Um....maybe because you were born in the same decade as they are? It's not like you're a cougar, you're only 21. Why wouldn't be attracted to you? 1
gaius Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I'm actually kind of surprised you're 21, thought you were younger. And I don't mean that as an insult at all. Nothing wrong with being young. That whole "you're very mature for your age" thing is just one of those meaningless compliments a lot of times I think. =/ There's another girl around here I thought was in her 40's and turned out to be 18, my eyes almost popped out of my head. And low and behold younger guys can't handle her. It's just a vibe people give out I think. 1
Lokin4AReason Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 don't take the post(s) to heart .... its just an opinion or insight on someone elses past experience .... every situation may be similar but totally different ( like no two people are alike ) ... WE are here to help, cope, relate, and to provide knowledge through the tough time(s) and the confusing one(s) ... ( and also making friends ) you ll have to rough it through and learn on your own ( also heed other individuals knowledge ). only you know at what is best for you =0) 1
Author Ashley S Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 Where you meeting these guys? that might be the problem. Lol, I meet these people through friends. Through school, and what not. My friend is 19, so he does have a lot of friends who are 17-19 years old. I went to a couple of his friends house with him, and he would tell me days later "So and so likes you" and his friends would ask for my number, ask me out, etc. It felt weird to me because I like guys that are at least 23 to 35 years old. I am not into anyone younger than me. lol. We can only judge based on what we read. And what we've read has left a lot to be desired as far as maturity is concerned. You need to understand that our scope is very limited when it comes to the window of your life. If you don't grasp that concept, then you need to understand what it is you are posting. You say you want an open discussion. We are having one. You still arrive to your own conclusion. Forget anything we said, it's because you are "bubbly". What do we know? Right? I understand. I know that people on here don't personally know me to make a perfect opinion about me. I didn't come to a conclusion. I am just throwing possibilities in there. That's all. I don't forget everything what people said. I don't disregard everyone like that. I take in what everyone says. Thank you. Um....maybe because you were born in the same decade as they are? It's not like you're a cougar, you're only 21. Why wouldn't be attracted to you? Lol! I know I am so bizarre. I don't know, maybe I have some sort of a mental illness? Haha. I can't think of being with someone who is younger than me. I feel like I am dating a kid because they are so immature. I understand what you mean, it is weird on my part because I am not that much older than them, I think it's psychological that they can't legally drink, and I associate that with that they aren't legal? Hahaha. I have no idea. Thanks for commenting!
Author Ashley S Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 I'm actually kind of surprised you're 21, thought you were younger. And I don't mean that as an insult at all. Nothing wrong with being young. That whole "you're very mature for your age" thing is just one of those meaningless compliments a lot of times I think. =/ There's another girl around here I thought was in her 40's and turned out to be 18, my eyes almost popped out of my head. And low and behold younger guys can't handle her. It's just a vibe people give out I think. I was told by many professional therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists that I am mature. They are not obligated to say that. I didn't form my own opinion about it, and I heard from regular people that I am "mature". WOW! Lol, that is wild! You thought she was in her 40's? Lol. I understand what you mean though. Thanks. don't take the post(s) to heart .... its just an opinion or insight on someone elses past experience .... every situation may be similar but totally different ( like no two people are alike ) ... WE are here to help, cope, relate, and to provide knowledge through the tough time(s) and the confusing one(s) ... ( and also making friends ) you ll have to rough it through and learn on your own ( also heed other individuals knowledge ). only you know at what is best for you =0) Yeah I understand. Thank you! I do learn on my own, it's just I like to post on here, and I like to hear what people have to say. I do this all the time with my friends, I always like having open discussions. It's my thing haha.
stillafool Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I think people get annoyed because every thread starts with a question that no one could possibly know the answer to. No Crystal ball around. 1
Lokin4AReason Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 no crystal ball that's for sure ..... but a lot of knowledgeable individual(s) is another thing =0) 2
William Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Respectful open discussions are fine. Anyone mentioning past threads of the thread starter in their posts shall quote those posts with a link or be subject to sanction, per our published guidelines. Thanks! 1
DrReplyInRhymes Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 Lol, I meet these people through friends. Through school, and what not. My friend is 19, so he does have a lot of friends who are 17-19 years old. I went to a couple of his friends house with him, and he would tell me days later "So and so likes you" and his friends would ask for my number, ask me out, etc. It felt weird to me because I like guys that are at least 23 to 35 years old. It's because you're hanging around boys and not men I dare say, You're around underdeveloped and inexperienced guys who play, I mean, just from your post, it's easy to see that's the case when a guy has to get his friend to break the ice instead of chase! 1
angel.eyes Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I agree. Ashley, if you don't want to be asked out by 17-19 year olds, I would stop socializing where they predominate. Instead, hang out where 23-35 year olds hang out. I'm guessing there were none at your friend's teenage house parties...no surprise then if the only interest displayed came from teenagers. Lol, I meet these people through friends. Through school, and what not. My friend is 19, so he does have a lot of friends who are 17-19 years old. I went to a couple of his friends house with him, and he would tell me days later "So and so likes you" and his friends would ask for my number, ask me out, etc. It felt weird to me because I like guys that are at least 23 to 35 years old. I am not into anyone younger than me. lol. 1
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