bellison Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Basically I'm after opinions on whether or not in your experience and thoughts ex's can break up and remain good friends without ever getting that spark back and wanting each other? Some of you might have read my other post earlier, my girlfriend if 6 months is best friends with her ex. I was not comfortable atall at first, now I'm ok with it thoug and don't feel threatened atall by it, so was just after opinions on if you think that's fine or I should be wary etc?
WonderWoman911 Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Yes, ex's can remain friends and not have any thought of getting back together. Some people realize that they are not compatible being in a relationship, but are mature enough to accept it and just be friends. I wouldn't be threatened by their relationship as long as they're cordial. Only be concerned if she places their relationship over y'all relationship.
coolheadal Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Well at first it's going to bother, but you really can't stop her from having the Ex BF as friend only. That's what she likes to do. But if she start comparing you to them? That's a red flag right there. Anyway those Ex BF friends or not shouldn't come between you too or hang out with you. So best to tell her that. Otherwise they'll come around and you'll be upset that they are around. Communication is the key here. Don't let this go. Talk to her. But remember you can't change her mindset.
CarrieT Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I am a 50 year old woman who is friends with all of my Ex's that are still alive (except one who lives in a half-way house and is barely functional in life). My new husband has met several of my Ex's and we've had one or two of them over for dinner. The crux of it for me is that the friendship didn't occur at the end of the romantic relationship, but after much time and healing had transpired when we were able to go back to our affinity for each other and re-address a friendship.
katinlc Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 The only time I have had this work was when we barely dated. We went out 5 or so times, got along great but realized we were not right for dating. We aren't really hang out friends (we had met online so we didn't know each other before) but we still talk via Facebook a couple times a week. We mainly talk about each other's dating life - I'm now engaged so he gets to hear all about my wedding plans and he's still trying to date so I lend a sympathetic ear towards that.
Author bellison Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 Thanks for the opinions. I have met him several times and we get on quite well, and I have been to gigs with them both, I was just very curious wether this was a common thing or not, being best friends with the ex. He never gets in the way or she never chooses him over me or anything like that. They dated for like 2 years then decided jointly to break up and have been close friends since.
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 They can be polite & civil initially but distance is required. Years later you can be friends. DH & I occasionally do stuff with my high school BF & his wife. The guys became friendly at our 25 HS reunion. About 2 years ago my grad school BF hired me to work on a project for his company. Please note I do not talk to these guys or any other EXs unless I bump into them. When we double with my HS BF the husband's make the arrangements.
Recommended Posts