SK_Xo Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Hi, As you probably gathered I am right now at a crossroads and I really need some help and advice so please if you could be as open and honest with me. So here goes, I've known this guy for over 2 years now and for you to fully understand the situation I will tell you the parts I think are important. We met innocently, he worked for a bank and as luck would have it I broke my bankcard so I rang up and was told I had to go in to see a guy named Jordan so I went in,now I had never met this guy at all but what was funny to me is that my younger brother is also called Jordan so I was kind of excited to meet this guy. When I walked into his office I just felt a connection, we just clicked, he made me laugh and I just thought he seems like a nice guy, he was not my type on any such way and it wasn't like I was after a marriage proposal that day as I hadn't gone into the bank looking for anything more than a new bank card. I remember leaving the bank with a smile on my face and thinking wow, nice genuine guys do actually exist. The conversation wasn't to forward I guess it was just friendly, banter but he made out he had seen me before but I didn't recognise him one bit, I was flattered with his genuine interest but I was aware it could have been doing his job, after all he is customer facing. The next day me and my friend went to the gym and I was telling her all about the guy from the bank, guys who normally would speak to me would be really slimy and cringe worthy with what they would say to try and impress me, but this guy was different, he didn't try it on with me it was something that was unusual for me to experience but in a really pleasant "gentleman" way. I couldn't seem to get this guy out of my head when all of a sudden I saw him, it turns out we went to the same gym... Now this was a little embarrassing for me as I never noticed him before as like I said before he is not a guy who would catch my attention but also I'm there to train and work out and have a catchup with my friends whilst doing so. From there on we started talking, I can not remember how we exchanged numbers but we did and over the next 3 months or so we texted non stop and our phone calls would get longer and longer as time moved on... It seemed so strange for me as I'm a really private person and normally i would never do this, I had only been in one relationship in my entire life and that lasted for 6 years, I wasn't looking for anybody when I met this guy, it just happened all of a sudden but I was so happy. Every morning I would get a good morning text and every evening I would get a good night text - I kid you not when I say we where texting and on the phone all the time but we never ran out of things to talk about I mean we had been talking for over 4 months and it was constant but everytime his name appeared on my phone I would smile like a Cheshire Cat I really would... My friends noticed a massive change in me, I was on cloud 9. Over the course of the 3/4 month we did meet face to face, but we would do random things like go for drives somewhere and park up and admire the views talk about anything and everything under the stars and the moon, it seems crazy but for me now looking back and talking about this I never in my wildest dreams thought it would end the way it ended... I remember one particular evening maybe 2 months in we where sat in my car we had the roof down at this amazing viewpoint near my house and we where both looking up at the stars talking about pointless things I'm sure and we both saw a shooting star... It was the first we both had ever seen and it was together, it was amazing I was memorised as I had always wanted to see one and to make the night even better we kissed for the very first time and well I was on cloud 9 at that point, it just felt right, we had met up many times before and he never tried it on with me but that night was so special to me and after I dropped him off home that night he sent me a screenshot from some website and it read something along the lines of "if you see a shooting star with someone they are your soul mate" I remember ringing my friends and saying as daft as this now sounds that I had met the one... Unfortunately there is a massive BUT to this story It was only over lunch where I was texting him did one of my friends recognised him and told me he had a GIRLFRIEND!!!! Oh my lord I felt sick to the stomach... I do not have Facebook twitter or any social media in fact where he did and my friend searched him and sure enough he had a girlfriend!!! My heart sank, thoughts where rushing through my head, I was upset but angry my emotions where everywhere... I felt stupid for not as my friends call it "being the FBI and investigating the guy before you start meeting them" I did the most stupidest thing ever by texting him to confront him... I wanted to do it face 2 face but I knew I would end up crying or punching him and I didn't want him to realise how I felt... He replied shortly after explaining that they had been together since school and he was sorry... I couldn't believe what I was reading I couldn't believe it was the same guy, I was devastated but he didn't seem to care he put "it's not like we did anything" and "it was only a kiss" it's all much of a blur but I remember saying don't contact me ever again and delete my number. The next few weeks where so hard, waking up to no texts and no calls, driving past a car similar to his, hearing songs on the radio which where "our songs" I couldn't go to the gym in case I saw him, I guess you could say I was heartbroken. Maybe 6 or more months went by and I got a new phone for Xmas so I texted everyone merry Xmas and I didn't realise at the time but I had sent it to him, an hour or two later I got a text back which I wasn't expecting, it was basically apologising for what had happened and he said that he split up with his gf because he said that if he had feelings for another girl he was in the wrong relationship. From there we gradually started texting again, I had missed him and stupidly I wanted him in my life even if we where just friends, but when we met that connection came back and we ended up kissing again and I kept telling myself it was wrong and I shouldn't as I would end up getting hurt, but it didn't stop me. Again over the next few months we kissed but that was all as my guard was up and afterall I didn't want to be a rebound. I'm not going to lie but I fell head over heels for him but I never told him, I was too afraid to, I was scared he wouldn't feel the same... I didn't know where I stood but I couldn't bring myself to ask him neither... It sounds very stupid I know but I lost him once and I didn't want to lose him again.... Now then me and my friends are practical jokers and what we used to do was whilst he was at work we would make his car "pretty" what I mean is we would dress it up in banners saying "happy retirement" attach balloons to his car, we did this a lot and we would laugh when he would ring and say "what the hell have you done to my car" it became a weekly thing and he didn't seem to mind... But one night my friend recommended we whip cream his bonnet with a love heart and his initial for when he woke up... This was a big mistake looking back but at the time he was supposed to be going away with work and we thought it was sweet... The morning after I heard nothing I rang and text him and he ignored everything.... He's a stubborn person but he didn't speak to me for a whole 3/4 months!!! Because of that, I apologised so many times and tried explaining that it was a nice gesture but 3/4 months went by and somehow we started talking again... I know it was me getting in contact with him but I can't remember what I said.... Again we started talking, texting etc gradually then it became how it always where... I couldn't understand how he could just ignore me for months, I was hurting and it again didn't seem like he cared, he just told me he was stubborn... Boy did he mean it... This time he took me away for the night to the Lake District and it was just amazing spending time alone away from our friends... Words can not describe how I felt he made me feel like no other guy had... A true gentleman... He planned everything and it was soooo thoughtful I couldn't believe that someone would go out of their way to make me feel how he made me feel... It was truly amazing... From the hotel room I text my friend saying "I've fallen for him, he is the one, I'm so happy". Even after the trip to the lakes we still had only kissed... It sounds crazy I know but i needed to make sure he wasn't doing all this just to sleep with me... And I'm not the type of girl to just jump into bed with anyone... We never argued, yes I teased him about little things as he teased me but it was banter... Now fast forward to today... We haven't spoke for over 3 months and the reason is unknown.... He just stopped everything, phone calls the texts everything for no reason... I text him on his birthday left a card on his car and dressed his car with balloons and banners and heard nothing now that was in October... Recently my uncle passed away and I knew he knew as I had Instagram but he never got in contact just to see if I was ok... I text him about 2 weeks ago when I had a girls night in yes I had alcohol and I know I shouldn't have text him but I had to... I got no reply... He deleted me from everything so he no longer knows what I'm doing.... Now I'm at a crossroads...I know you will all say I need to move on and you are right but I do not know the reason why he just stopped and blatantly ignoring me, I heard through the grape vine that he was fed up with me teasing him about stuff but it was banter and he knows i never meant it, he did it to me but it was innocent.... My friends had given me many reasons as to why he's ignoring me... He didn't get sex so therefore moved on as he gave up....some said he must have felt intimidated by me... I just don't know What puzzles me is he isn't a good looking guy, (sorry but it's the truth) it is his personality I have fallen for, but he is stubborn and I can never change that.. He used to apologise for being stubborn and he promised he would stop but he hasn't... I tried speaking to one of his friends and he said that he couldn't understand what Jordan's issue is... I'm a model by trade and I'm not saying he should be worshipping me because it's not always about looks but his friends used to tease him and say he was Punching way above his weight...and his friends couldn't believe I was speaking to him as they openly admitted they fancied me and would tease him about them liking me, on nights out Jordan admitted the amount of attention I got was unreal and stupid and we would laugh when me and him would go out and guys would try an hit on me and slyly try giving me their number, we would just laugh it off together...I just do not know what to do.. Looking back now I was in love and I think I still am but I can not let go because I do not know what I did wrong... If I did anything wrong that is... Why could he not tell me he just wanted to be friends rather than what he is doing... I miss him immensely but can not fathom why... I play scenarios in my head over and over again... Is he feel in the same?? Can you just lose feelings over night?? I read back old texts where he says he is the luckiest guy in the world to have someone like me interested and he will never ever let me go... I need your help and your advice as it's driving me insane it really is... I will respect your honesty... I just need to know am I insane?! Am I right in what I'm feeling?? What do I do?? He is too stubborn to get in contact with me... I tried texting him about 3 weeks ago just saying "the one person I needed wasn't there when I lost my my uncle" I just wanted a reaction something anything from him but I got nothing Please help as I'm really struggling
Satu Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 He just isn't much into you. Accept it. Delete, block, forget.
JonjMie Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Hey, I'm sorry you had your heartbroken but it seems you fell for the romantic dream, and why shouldn't you, however the reality is that he had a girlfriend he obviously loved, I'm guessing he got back with her. You need to grieve for the relationship until your healed and then start over again.
seminoles84 Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Could be a situation of "I want what I can't have," so you are romanticizing the relationship and it's driving you nuts.
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