singlelife Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I keep hearing lady's saying how they are attracted to older men. That younger guys don't know what they are doing. They look good but over time they lose their interest due to immaturity. So how does this work? I even have friends in their 20's who are dumb founded by this.
Satu Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 One good thing about maturity is that more mature people tend to be more at ease inside their own skin, with less need to prove anything to anyone. More easy-going in many cases. Because they are more at ease with themselves, they're easy to be around. Just my thought, but maybe relevant.
bathtub-row Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I always dated guys my age when I was younger - plus or minus 3 to 5 yrs - but I found their immaturity too much to deal with. I never dated older guys but I think I would've been better off if I had. Younger guys are, for the most part, too immature, too volatile, too emotional (like many women), too insecure, too inexperienced, and the guys these days have no clue about what it means to care of a woman. The majority of them are more interested in whether or not she can make as much money as he can, and about how he's not going to put up with a woman not working. They're clueless as to how this makes a woman feel insecure. Not to say that there's anything wrong with wanting to marry an intelligent woman or one who's educated. There's a difference. Don't get me wrong, though, this is not to say that there aren't a LOT of immature women out there. I know that there are. Older men have grown out of their youth and know how to treat women. They also know how to con women and a lot of them do this. Older men also grew up in a generation with different principles regarding women. Not that I'm an advocate of relationships where there's a 20+ yr gap. Those rarely work out and they're a bad idea all the way around. But I do think that a 5-10 yr age gap where the man is older is typically the best situation. This mostly has to do with the maturity level of both sexes. This is also not to say that there aren't any young men out there who aren't very mature and responsible. On average, though, as my father used to say -- a man isn't even grown up until he's 30. Now that I'm older, I see his point. 1
toscaroscura Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I'm 35 and I've dated/been interested in men from early 20s all the way up to 50s. Chronological Age means nothing to me; if we click we click. But in my PERSONAL experience, the older ones were the ones who lied. The ones who were bitter and didn't care. They drank more and smoked way more pot than the younguns. Sure, they were calmer in general, but set in their ways most definitely. Most had "been there done that" with regards to love and relationships so basically just wanted to relive their adolescence. The young ones have their own problems. But all in all, I find them more earnest and honest. I'm not saying any of this to bash older men. I'm sure I just had bad luck and my experience isn't gospel truth. But I no longer automatically believe that, just because someone is older in years, that they will treat me nicer and be more stable or mature. 2
kenmore Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I always dated guys my age when I was younger - plus or minus 3 to 5 yrs - but I found their immaturity too much to deal with. I never dated older guys but I think I would've been better off if I had. Younger guys are, for the most part, too immature, too volatile, too emotional (like many women), too insecure, too inexperienced, and the guys these days have no clue about what it means to care of a woman. The majority of them are more interested in whether or not she can make as much money as he can, and about how he's not going to put up with a woman not working. They're clueless as to how this makes a woman feel insecure. Not to say that there's anything wrong with wanting to marry an intelligent woman or one who's educated. There's a difference. Don't get me wrong, though, this is not to say that there aren't a LOT of immature women out there. I know that there are. Older men have grown out of their youth and know how to treat women. They also know how to con women and a lot of them do this. Older men also grew up in a generation with different principles regarding women. Not that I'm an advocate of relationships where there's a 20+ yr gap. Those rarely work out and they're a bad idea all the way around. But I do think that a 5-10 yr age gap where the man is older is typically the best situation. This mostly has to do with the maturity level of both sexes. This is also not to say that there aren't any young men out there who aren't very mature and responsible. On average, though, as my father used to say -- a man isn't even grown up until he's 30. Now that I'm older, I see his point. Same in reverse! I actually find young women (I won't say unattractive) unsatisfying to me anymore. Just the thought of being with a female who is under 40 just doesn't do it for me anymore. The typical lack of maturity just overwhelms my senses (no offense OP or anyone else who is young, just my preference.) And also same in reverse, my wife has a good education and job, and she dumped me because I couldn't find good employment, even though I am intelligent, caring and loved her with all my heart. Big mistake my not finishing college! I still think it's a sucky reason though. I totally agree about a man not "being grown up" until over 30, thus my decision to start a business rather than finish college, but things were different back then, and hindsight is 20/20. Regarding the OP's question, first it depends on the age gap. A 22 yr old woman dating a 56 yr old man Creepy! Same woman dating a 28 yr old, not as much, but the discrepancy will be a lot considering the 22 yr old woman is so young herself! Both of my wife's sisters married at 18 to older men (about 10 years older) and are still happily married now 40 years later. for myself, I want a woman my age within about five years. I guess I rambled, sorry. Age does that to you lol! 1
jezzika Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 A year ago, I would have said absolutely. Now, I can't really say that. What I can say is that men become better at what they do as they get older. So, if they're innately honest, they will become more honest. If they're trustworthy, they will be more trustworthy. If they're lairs, they will become better liars. If they're cheaters, they'll be better at cheating. If they're schemers, they will have better schemes. If they're players, they will be better at playing. It's not age that makes a man treat a woman better...it's the man. I thought otherwise until recently. Now, I know, it's all about the man and who he is...it has nothing to do with his age. There are younger guys out there that are better men than so many older guys...and there are older guys out there that are better men than so many younger guys. It is just all about the man and who is on the inside. I don't think age has anything to do with it...not any longer. I do think that an older man can definitely make you believe that older men treat women better, though. They're rather good at that...again, they get better at what they do as they get older. 5
todreaminblue Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 i like old school always have even as a teen....old school gentleman tend to eb older....but then there are men who have exhibited this and they are younger.....i prefer a guy who is old school in manners and etiquette...i dont mean paying for anything...ill pay for myself...i just mean in how he treats others..especially women.so really i dont believe that is dependent on age....more personality and character...i love strength in character......deb....
GemmaUK Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I've found older men in their forties (my age group) and upwards to be less secure in themselves and much less easy going than younger men. They also were less stable in their lives and were looking to be rescued by a woman. On OLD I would get way more nasty. rude or inappropriate mails from men in their 40's to 70's than from those under age 40. This is just my own experience over the last few years though. 1
Emilia Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Younger women like older guys because they have more money, drive better cars, etc.
ascendotum Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 They drank more and smoked way more pot than the younguns. Most had "been there done that" with regards to love and relationships so basically just wanted to relive their adolescence. I find it strange that you find the older guys did more drugs & booze. It was definitely not that with my friends. It gets a lot harder to recover from drug or booze benders and generally there's more responsibilities and shyte to do take care of when you are older. Where do you find these older dudes in mine or oil rig sites. lol As for the 2nd sentence, its contradictory. Been there done that but not quite it seems. Yeh some will still want to clock up some fun adventures especially if they came out of a ****ty marriage, but plenty will be happy to settle down more so if they start dating a nice younger woman. They might not be so lucky in 2-3yrs time if they pass her up. I guess it depends on what prospects they think they have over the next few yrs. 1
Erised Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Younger women like older guys because they have more money, drive better cars, etc. Not true. (Well, I have no doubt it is sometimes true. But not as a rule. That was never my reason.)
Toodaloo Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I know that most of the older men I know 40 yrs + treat their women far better than younger men. They tend to treat their ladies as precious objects that need to be looked after. This goes for all women in their lives. Mothers, daughters, sisters, friends. I have also noticed that the women in their lives also treat them very well. However I am going to assume that it is one of those questions that there is no definitive answer as all men are people and all people have different views on this. But what goes around comes around and I guess you behave in the way that others around you do.
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I've found older men in their forties (my age group) and upwards to be less secure in themselves and much less easy going than younger men. They also were less stable in their lives and were looking to be rescued by a woman. On OLD I would get way more nasty. rude or inappropriate mails from men in their 40's to 70's than from those under age 40. This is just my own experience over the last few years though. I had the same experience. I feel it's generational though. It's the fact they were born before 1970. They're from that generation of men that don't open up, they are close-minded, passive-aggressive, vindictive, entitled, bitter and I could go on and on. I am 49 and I cannot stand men my age. The next generation, Men born later than 1970 will make much better partners.
Author singlelife Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 a friend told me young guys are not all that.
toscaroscura Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I find it strange that you find the older guys did more drugs & booze. It was definitely not that with my friends. It gets a lot harder to recover from drug or booze benders and generally there's more responsibilities and shyte to do take care of when you are older. Where do you find these older dudes in mine or oil rig sites. lol As for the 2nd sentence, its contradictory. Been there done that but not quite it seems. Yeh some will still want to clock up some fun adventures especially if they came out of a ****ty marriage, but plenty will be happy to settle down more so if they start dating a nice younger woman. They might not be so lucky in 2-3yrs time if they pass her up. I guess it depends on what prospects they think they have over the next few yrs. I don't know where I found them to be honest! At the time they seemed like regular guys. And my second statement isn't contradictory, but perhaps I didn't explain well enough. They are "done" with love and relationships, as in, they gave all their romance and sweetness and tenderness to their ex wives or girlfriends. Now they just want to f***. But they'll SAY they want a relationship. I found the young ones much more honest about just wanting hookups. They won't say they want a relationship. But the older guys were so puzzling. They complained about exes and were obviously in pain, but when I tried to get closer they ghosted. *shrugs*
No Limit Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Yes, they do treat them 'better' - since older men have their careers and money they're finally able to buy their GFs the stuff they want. Money is sexy to a lot of people.
regine_phalange Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 My experience with older men is that they're usually more manipulative. They have the tendency to resort to more tricks and games. Not all of them of course but certainly more than their younger counterparts. They're not bad people usually but what annoys me is that they don't pay the needed respect to my intelligence or that they patronise me. I prefer someone who's behaving more spontaneous and sincerely and not like my dad or my brother. Younger guys tend to be more refreshing and energising . 2
regine_phalange Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) A year ago, I would have said absolutely. Now, I can't really say that. What I can say is that men become better at what they do as they get older. So, if they're innately honest, they will become more honest. If they're trustworthy, they will be more trustworthy. If they're lairs, they will become better liars. If they're cheaters, they'll be better at cheating. If they're schemers, they will have better schemes. If they're players, they will be better at playing. It's not age that makes a man treat a woman better...it's the man. I thought otherwise until recently. Now, I know, it's all about the man and who he is...it has nothing to do with his age. There are younger guys out there that are better men than so many older guys...and there are older guys out there that are better men than so many younger guys. It is just all about the man and who is on the inside. I don't think age has anything to do with it...not any longer. I do think that an older man can definitely make you believe that older men treat women better, though. They're rather good at that...again, they get better at what they do as they get older. That's an interesting viewpoint and more integrated. I'll absrob it Edited January 7, 2015 by regine_phalange
GemmaUK Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I had the same experience. I feel it's generational though. It's the fact they were born before 1970. They're from that generation of men that don't open up, they are close-minded, passive-aggressive, vindictive, entitled, bitter and I could go on and on. I am 49 and I cannot stand men my age. The next generation, Men born later than 1970 will make much better partners. I think you are correct 100% in it being generational. I'm 4 years younger than you but I am finding it in men born 1970-1971 or prior (and yes you are right - it is that specific in terms of the year). The bitterness is all there for sure. Many - well tbh all that I have met or chatted with didn't have a home of their own or were not financially or employment stable. These guys hadn't had divorces either so hadn't been wiped out financially and only one of them had children for whom he avoided child maintenance payments because he was consistently unemployed (I didn't know this for several weeks and it only lasted several weeks) I like you have a place of my own and a good (not as good as yours but it pays my bills and I love it) job. I'm thinking of trying OLD again this year but I don't want to be someone's cash tree or place to move into because a woman is there. I've also had a thing happen where with the three men I have dated I have had to somehow 'prove' that my work is valid to them. Mostly to the last guy. I work in an office and he figured I answered phones and filed my nails. These guys and that ex of mine also had an attitude that I would have no opinions - or shouldn't have any. Also that I should not work and be a stay homey wifey - or that I would support them. Whatever happened to good men and equal relationships? I've had them in the past. Guys who want that must be out there somewhere.
GemmaUK Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 My experience with older men is that they're usually more manipulative. They have the tendency to resort to more tricks and games. Not all of them of course but certainly more than their younger counterparts. They're not bad people usually but what annoys me is that they don't pay the needed respect to my intelligence or that they patronise me. I prefer someone who's behaving more spontaneous and sincerely and not like my dad or my brother. Younger guys tend to be more refreshing and energising . I agree - the respect and intelligence - younger guys appreciate it. Older guys (so I have found) are anti both and display it - you had better not have your own opinion......
regine_phalange Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I agree - the respect and intelligence - younger guys appreciate it. Older guys (so I have found) are anti both and display it - you had better not have your own opinion...... They may pay compliments about how smart a woman is... But their actions (manipulation) show otherwise. In the best case they undervalue the younger womans perception and intelligence... And women have just as big egos as men (at least I do )
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Young guys who are still into being cool & not appearing weak may not be as romantic as more mature guys who know that the ability to be caring in a relationship is a sign of strength but I think people of any age have the ability to be kind to one another & treat each other well just as they all have the ability to be horrible.
slizl Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I'm 35 and divorced and I treat the right woman like gold. For me, it's not so much my age, but being married to a crazy b*tch for so long, I REALLY appreciate a good woman now, and I show and tell her that evey day
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