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What Do Men Really Think About Women Who Chase After A Man?

me85

By me85
in General Relationship Discussion

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me85 Established Member

me85

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What do men really think about a woman who chases a man? Who here has been chased by a woman and how did you feel about it? Some men say that men are the hunters...they are supposed to chase the woman, she isn't supposed to chase them. Opinions gentlemen?

regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

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I bet they like it in the sense of being flattered but they aren't impressed.

 

I won? :D

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SomeDude16 Established Member

SomeDude16

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Depends how hard they are chasing. A few texts here and there would be flattering but showing up unannounced at my door is weird.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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It's flattering and I like it - but I never quite know how to react to it personally. That's just me I suppose, but it is a nice change of pace :D

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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Men always say they like a woman who will go after him but every time I've ever done it, the guy acts like a complete and utter goober. He just doesn't know how to react or what to do and that's a turn off/ruins everything. It's best to just do a little flirting at most but let them do the pursuing. They act more normal then.

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Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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I have not been outright chased by a woman, but I did have it where the woman initiated. So if that is the extent of a woman chasing a man, then it's a good feeling because the woman is showing clear interest, and reciprocating my interest. I think it is endearing and very courageous of the woman, which I respect and appreciate very much. A woman that does chase, especially if I am also interested in her, balances the "dating dance" for me. I'm not expected to do all the heavy lifting, and always put myself out there. Also, I wouldn't feel I am being used for attention or an ego boost. In addition, in my opinion, it takes a certain confident man to accept a woman to initiate/chase after a man.

littleblackheart Established Member

littleblackheart

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It's all academic when the attraction's mutual, would be my guess.

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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What do men really think about a woman who chases a man? Who here has been chased by a woman and how did you feel about it? Some men say that men are the hunters...they are supposed to chase the woman, she isn't supposed to chase them. Opinions gentlemen?

I've been 'chased' by women who turned out to be MW's and it was fine right up until the moment I discovered they were married, then not so fine. I've never seen women as 'conquests' so tend to view the milieu as more equal opportunity. We're all people.

Light Breeze Established Member

Light Breeze

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I was chased by my ex SO and I liked it. We were together for 7 years.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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I've totally chased most of the guys I've liked. If I want to meet one, I'll meet one. I don't usually outright proposition them, though I have before if they're only there for a short time. Whether they like it depends on whether they might want you or not. Doing it, you do open yourself up to them assuming you're going to put out right away and that they don't have to make an effort. So that's the down side. But if you do it right, they don't have to know you have blatantly chased them to get to where you are with them.

 

Guys I have approached abruptly who totally stuck were mainly guys who wouldn't have the nerve to approach me or pretty much anyone, and I didn't know that going in and just thought they were cute and it was a one-time chance to talk to them or they'd be gone. Since this is a lot of what I caught, I did finally blow off just approaching them if I either don't know anything about them or they haven't shown some type of outgoingness. Not that I require butchness at all, but I like someone with a lot of nerve willing to stick his neck out like I'm doing.

 

Most of the guys I was interested in, it was me making sure I got to talk to them, and repeatedly. The most fun ones loved it I was forward and came back with the same amount of enthusiasm. Others were not interested or dragging their feet or into someone else. So it's a totally mixed bag and I guess who you are and who you approach determines the type you end up with, but it will be mixed I'm sure. Just maybe not the same types I approached and same issues. More liked it than not, though. Flattered if nothing else.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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I think if you're actively chasing a man he's not interested in you all that much and as someone else says maybe he might be flattered but if in fact he was interested you'd not be chasing after him.

 

I don't mind initiating but I'm not gonna chase a man. If I like him and initiate something then it's up to him to reciprocate if he is interested, not let me chase him. Likewise, as a woman, I don't allow a man to chase me really. If I like him and he expresses interest I reciprocate. The chase thing only happens when I'm not all that into him.

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Danda Established Member

Danda

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I'd imagine it would be similar to the reverse? Like if he finds her attractive and likes her then it would be nice, but if not then just annoying? I think for women being pursued by men they don't like you would just replace annoying with scary.

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me85 Established Member

me85

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Love all the responses! But maybe let's just keep it at yay or nay…guys? A girl pursuing you…yay or nay??

 

For the record, I never chase after a guy. Only once I tried to get back with an ex because I felt my ego was at stake during that time. I didn't chase but I did ask for another go round but have since learned to get back to my roots, as in, I never did that before for a reason. It isn't me. It didn't fit.

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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But maybe let's just keep it at yay or nay…guys? A girl pursuing you…yay or nay??

 

Fine, take all the fun out if it. I vote "yay".

Anela Established Member

Anela

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I think if you're actively chasing a man he's not interested in you all that much and as someone else says maybe he might be flattered but if in fact he was interested you'd not be chasing after him.

 

I don't mind initiating but I'm not gonna chase a man. If I like him and initiate something then it's up to him to reciprocate if he is interested, not let me chase him. Likewise, as a woman, I don't allow a man to chase me really. If I like him and he expresses interest I reciprocate. The chase thing only happens when I'm not all that into him.

 

Me too. I have sort of chased, and it was an ego boost for him. I try not to lead someone on, the rare chance that I've been in a position to. He did lead me on. If a man is interested, most of the time, you'll know. A friend did ask out her now-husband, though.

Edited by Anela
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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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Love all the responses! But maybe let's just keep it at yay or nay…guys? A girl pursuing you…yay or nay??

 

For the record, I never chase after a guy. Only once I tried to get back with an ex because I felt my ego was at stake during that time. I didn't chase but I did ask for another go round but have since learned to get back to my roots, as in, I never did that before for a reason. It isn't me. It didn't fit.

 

So you want people (guys) to literally just say one word (yay or nay)?

 

That would be a pretty boring and not very insightful thread don't you think, if people didn't explain themselves? There is a poll option though if you really do want to just break down answers into yes or no categories.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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Me too. I have sort of chased, and it was an ego boost for him. I try not to lead someone on, the rare chance that I've been in a position to. He did lead me on. If a man is interested, most of the time, you'll know. A friend did ask out her now-husband, though.

 

I don't think anything is wrong with a woman asking out a man, although two of my guy friends and I had this discussion and they said they didn't like it and preferred to do the asking. But chasing is a whole other thing, unless chasing for some people means showing ANY kind of interest or initiating, which isn't how I see it. I don't mind initiating. I don't approach men or initiate often, I more so make it clear I'm interested and let them do the initiating, but I have initiated a few times and they responded favorably. I didn't chase though. If they seemed disinterested or didn't follow up I'd have left it at that and not continued to pursue it.

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Anela Established Member

Anela

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I don't think anything is wrong with a woman asking out a man, although two of my guy friends and I had this discussion and they said they didn't like it and preferred to do the asking. But chasing is a whole other thing, unless chasing for some people means showing ANY kind of interest or initiating, which isn't how I see it. I don't mind initiating. I don't approach men or initiate often, I more so make it clear I'm interested and let them do the initiating, but I have initiated a few times and they responded favorably. I didn't chase though. If they seemed disinterested or didn't follow up I'd have left it at that and not continued to pursue it.

 

I did the little nudge with an email, but they were usually the one to contact me - that was why I was so confused. The whole thing was so confusing to me, but I think I did chase a little bit.

 

My friend said her husband admitted that it would have taken him months to ask her out. They've been happily married for over five years now, so being the one to ask didn't hurt her.

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StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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I've been 'chased' by women who turned out to be MW's and it was fine right up until the moment I discovered they were married, then not so fine. I've never seen women as 'conquests' so tend to view the milieu as more equal opportunity. We're all people.

 

Ditto on the married women. Also women chasing me when I'm off the market. It turns into a little bit of a clusterfeck. Like if a female smells another female on you she suddenly feels like you are the only one for her. For these reasons I vote "Nay".

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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I think if you're actively chasing a man he's not interested in you all that much and as someone else says maybe he might be flattered but if in fact he was interested you'd not be chasing after him.

 

I don't mind initiating but I'm not gonna chase a man. If I like him and initiate something then it's up to him to reciprocate if he is interested, not let me chase him. Likewise, as a woman, I don't allow a man to chase me really. If I like him and he expresses interest I reciprocate. The chase thing only happens when I'm not all that into him.

 

Agreed ...

 

I mean this generation is pushing for women to take the initiative, but not sure if while a guy is initially flattered, that he got air taken out of his tires cuz she wouldn't allow him to pursue her.

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clia Established Member

clia

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The men on here who will encourage you to chase men are the men who have had zero success with women. Those men want women to chase them because it takes all the pressure off them to compete with other men. In my experience, men who have anything to offer women like the chase, and while they may initially respond to a woman who does the chasing as an anomaly, in the end, they will leave you to chase a woman who isn't chasing them.

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Light Breeze Established Member

Light Breeze

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The men on here who will encourage you to chase men are the men who have had zero success with women. Those men want women to chase them because it takes all the pressure off them to compete with other men. In my experience, men who have anything to offer women like the chase, and while they may initially respond to a woman who does the chasing as an anomaly, in the end, they will leave you to chase a woman who isn't chasing them.

 

Let's not paint every man out there like this. Everything really is based on circumstances and the people involved.

 

I'll tell you my story.

 

My exSO chased me when all I saw in her was friendship. She was relentless, long story short I fell in love.. hard, actually my first real love. As the relationship progressed I found myself loving her more than she loved me. I was about to propose when she ended our relationship, which I know now was because she fell in love with another man.

 

My point is, your description of men losing interest in a chasing woman and leaves for another who they'll chase may as well be also applicable to chasing women.

 

Again, depends on the people involved and the underlying dynamics.

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Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

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Chase away! I've been pursued before and we ended up getting together. But, in hs a girl came to me and said she had an erotic dream about me. At that time I didn't know how to handle it. If it had clicked that she was asking me to have sex, I would have jumped, but I really didn't know how to take it. I didn't even know her except in passing. And I'm still kicking myself over that one! :lmao: Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! :laugh:

Shepp Established Member

Shepp

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Nay for me..

 

Just doesnt do anything for me. I mean i guess if i really liked her it wouldnt kill it. But in the general experience I've had of girls who've chased me, i've always found it ....arh, a little desperate?

I know some guys are totally flattered by girls throwing themselves at them but I find that totally unattractive.

 

 

But maybe i'm a weirdo - i've never been keen on guys who try to hard to be mates either. People trying to hard to please me, suck up, that kinda thing, just give me the creeps.

 

Hey, guess i love the hard to get - i sure physiologists would have a field day with that haha :laugh:

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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...although two of my guy friends and I had this discussion and they said they didn't like it and preferred to do the asking.

 

Did you ask your guy friends, or did they give you reasons, why they don't like it when a woman initiates?

 

 

The men on here who will encourage you to chase men are the men who have had zero success with women. Those men want women to chase them because it takes all the pressure off them to compete with other men. In my experience, men who have anything to offer women like the chase, and while they may initially respond to a woman who does the chasing as an anomaly, in the end, they will leave you to chase a woman who isn't chasing them.

 

Sorry to hear you got burnt after chasing a man. As we all know already, some men like being chased and/or initiated on, and some men don't. Some women like to chase and/or initiate, some women don't. But clumping all men into your argument is myopic. I've been in relationships, dates, initiated and pursued a woman, but I also like it when the woman does initiating and chasing. It's only fair. But by your statement, I disqualify your assumption of "zero success". So you should define what "success" means when you say this.

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