Hija77 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 My ex(?) and I were together for 7 years total. 5 years during/after college, and 2 years after a break of 4 years. He sent me a text message right after Thanksgiving, telling me he needed time and space to think. I responded that I thought that it was probably a good idea, and that I loved him and hoped we could work it out. That was the last communication we had. Christmas went by, New Year's, and my best friend's father, a 2nd father to me, passed away. All with no word from him. So far, I've been biding my time and respecting his request for time and space to think. I don't know what to do anymore. If I try to speak to him and he ignores me, I feel like I'll be back at square one. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would treat me this way. I guess I have to just let it go, but I can't help but have hope that the space will make him want me back. I was good to him! I was friends with his brothers and family. He never had to worry about other men, and I supported him in every way possible. I need some advice! Maybe some kind words from someone who has been in this situation? I should add that he's a raging alcoholic. This is something I've only just begun to accept, so I guess that's why such a huge detail just appeared at the end of my post. Yikes. Help!!!
evanescentworld Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 You dodged a bullet, hun. Good thing too. Move on, blank, block, delete, forget, and step away. Best of luck!! 1
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 It already didn't work once. This 2 month break is him test driving a break up. Adding in his alcoholism, what is the allure of keeping him? 1
Author Hija77 Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 I appreciate your responses. I agree that this is a break up with training wheels. With no one to judge his drinking, he's most likely been having a grand old time drowning in a liquor bottle. Part of my pain has to do with the fact that I allowed him back into my life again. When he came back, he was full of remorse and apologized for things I never thought he'd even considered! He's not a particularly emotional person, so I was completely blown away. I guess he was just manipulating me. I just don't know why. Why come back and then dump me in such a disrespectful way? What's the point? I don't know why I would want him back. Because I love him? That hardly seems like a decent reason at this point. I think I'm holding out hope not because it actually exists, but because I'm simply not ready to 100% let go.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Last contact was Thanksgiving? This was no break. You're single. He's an ex. You have to start thinking this way; he likely already is anyway. You question why you would want him back - read up on codependency, particularly with an addict. You will probably see the relationship from a different perspective and gain some tools to help you move forward and avoid falling into an unhealthy relationship in the future. 2
Author Hija77 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 Great advice ExpatInItaly. I hadn't read your post yet, but I just got back from an Al-anon meeting. :-) 1
Satu Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Great advice ExpatInItaly. I hadn't read your post yet, but I just got back from an Al-anon meeting. :-) Good for you. This is a golden opportunity. It's a special chance to move forward into a healthier and more satisfying life, where you don't have to factor in somebody's addiction every time you make decision. Think health. Think clarity. Think peace of mind. Think happiness. 1
Purepony Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Sounds like you actually have something going for you.. get away from this loser as far as you can! If you still are hung up over him just look back at all the bad things he put you thru 2
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