LoverOfDance Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 So if you've been following my threads, you guessed right - this is yet another thread about the guy I am "in love" with (who is in a 13 year relationship with someone else). Today I had a dream about him. This is the second time I am dreaming about him getting married to his gf. I woke feeling like I was about to cry. But I didn't. I have been living in a foreign country all by myself away from my family for Six and half years now. I am completely alone. Not very good at making friends. I tried meet up but to be honest, I just find it hard to find the motivation to go hang out with strangers. I just feel like I would feel weird and still alone. Being all myself makes it even harder to deal with this so called broken heart. I don't know if it's the rejection. And I say it's a rejection because even though he acts like he cares about me when I am around him, he has made it very clear who he actually wants. I just find it hard to believe that you could feel so strongly for someone, that someone could mean so much to you, that you could think about them everyday for years and yet you barely mean anything to them. It's just such a cruel reality and I'm finding it hard to accept that God could let such a thing happen to anyone. They say that nothing lasts forever. That one day this storm will pass but I am honestly finding it difficult to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Is it possible for a broken heart to just never heal? 1
Popsicle Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I, personally, think broken hearts do heal. Mine did in the past, even when I thought it never would. I surprised myself even. I'm sure it will always be that way. 2
Omei Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) I think they can but once you've fallen in love again with someone new. I think until then most people carry a little hurt still even if they have moved on And I wouldn't say it gos away but it def becomes bearable where you can go days without thinking about them or being sad and have a normal happy day. Edited January 6, 2015 by Omei 5
Popsicle Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I think they can but once you've fallen in love again with someone new. I think until then most people carry a little hurt still even if they have moved on And I wouldn't say it gos away but it def becomes bearable where you can go days without thinking about them or being sad and have a normal happy day. That's a really good description of it.
preraph Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 You are right that being alone is intensifying your feelings centered on this unattainable man. In order to leave this behind, you have to make yourself go out and be social and do activities, even if it's alone, like working out, running, biking, going to the zoo or museum or for a cup of coffee. You need to stay busy and create new good memories so he can't take up your whole head. New memories to crowd the old ones into proper perspective. Get busy getting busy. 2
shoegal4 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 A broken heart will heal with time and the others are right - it will most likely feel healed when you've fallen in love with someone else. The hurt will always be there tucked away in some dusty corner but eventually it will be a distant, well-learned memory. "A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect." 2
CarrieT Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Even Miss Havisham healed (granted, she was burning up, but she realized how much of her life she had wasted before the conflagration).
shet Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 The longest I've suffered was around a year and a half. At least, before it stopped disabling me from enjoying most of life. Probably 2 years before I could've attempted a new relationship, not that it happened. I have great problems in this area, emotional instability, depression, just a lack of fortitude and personal resource to move on. Don't be like me.
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Heart break is like any other injury, if you keep picking at the scab -- remain fixated on the other person -- it will take longer to heal. You said you are alone in a foreign country & are bad at making friends. Instead of focusing on the guy you can't have do something to improve your situation. Join a club. Volunteer somewhere. Smile & say hello to a new person. Look into getting a job back home. Your future is in your hands.
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