snl Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I wish you the strength to stay strong. What the other members advise is so correct. Any interaction will set you back. Total NC. It might take 2-3 months to get out of the worst but you need to for yourself. What happens after the first 2-3 months is a void ...when you kind of trying to get really back into life and don't click with anyone... This will suck as well...but stick to it. No going back as the conditions will be same. You will be sharing your "partner" with someone else. Stay strong. Wishing you all best.
Author raspberry.12 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Thanks. The bad thing for me is we live close to each other, and in the last week, I saw him and his wife together 3 times. Eventhough I NC'ed, chances I saw them together are still there, really torturing my heart I can't move to somewhere else and only had to face the truth. I just wish I couldn't see them together anymore.
Grapesofwrath Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Keep up the NC, Berries. And no responding to ANYTHING. Just do it one day at a time. As for when you see him and his wife...it's easy to fall into the trap of looking at them and thinking things are perfect and you wish that was you. don't do it! Things aren't so ideal with them. But it's their drama. Unfortunately, you were drawn into it by him and his selfish desire to fill his own needs without a thought of what that might mean for you. Time heals all wounds. Just keep going NC. Maybe journal your feelings, or write them in an email that you send to yourself. That way you get it out, and maintain the NC.
Popsicle Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 (edited) Hi all I am feeling so low right now. I ended things with my separated/MM a week ago. When he was back from family vacation, I felt the need to let him know how I feel about being left behind, we texted to talk through something. It was hard and lots of tears. He said he loved me but he needed to go back to his family for the kids and the BS that has been with him for 17 years. I started NC the next day. However, I broke it as he texted me to ask things like "You awake yet?", "Can I call you?", "How are you feeling?"...I know I know I shouldn't reply but I can't ignore him. And after I replied, he went silent. I waited for his msg again hopelessly. Now I have to start NC again, it's torturing. The only time I can't think of him is when I am sleeping. Everyday I wake up I think of him, and think of him until I'm off to bed. I am sorry if I sound pitiful but I can't help myself holding it. I have to write here instead of messaging him Poor girl. I wasn't a fan of NC for myself. I preferred the slow fade to black in my situation. It slowly gives me strength. Edited April 28, 2015 by Popsicle 1
Author raspberry.12 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 I'm on day 10 NC (3rd time) Sometimes I felt like I was over him but sometimes the feelings came back and I started missing him again. I've been so busy with work last week, I started playing badminton again. I even went back to dating but I stopped as the more I went dating the more I missed him so I don't think I am ready again. I am hoping that I can keep up my NC. I don't want to break NC another time.
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