kenmore Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Well, I am coming out of my shell a little bit. Since the BU, I have been working hard at making a new life for myself...basically since I had nothing left of the old one (and thank God!) Went into a first full day of work which consisted of training with the specific insurance company I am now working for. At lunchtime, I went into a business lunch area and sat around all the "suits", had lunch, then went and took my second state exam. I was doing really well, not having any trouble, but when I got to question 150 out of 160, my mind drifted to my wife. I found myself suddenly totally unable to concentrate thinking about how it was when we were dating and how it would feel when after I aced the test, I went to her house and told her and we celebrated. I kept forcing myself to concentrate, telling myself to shut the f up! Knock it off and do what I need to do. Get two more questions down the line....repeat. I saw it through and I got 93.3%! YES! Driving home, I had a thought. Instead of going back into the hole I call a life now, I think I'll celebrate by going to a bar and getting a drink. You see, every memory I have of eating out, going to a bar, going on vacation lately involves my wife. I decided to make a NEW memory! It was awesome! Okay, it was friggin' lackluster, but it was something I did just for me and more than anything DID NOT INVOLVE MY WIFE IN ANY WAY! I didn't text her, try to contact her about it and most of all, decided it doesn't matter in the least! It's my small victory and I won! I feel a little ashamed of making such a big deal out of passing a test and going for a drink, but it was all me! I'm finally starting to get a feeling I'll do well in my new life and simply don't need her to do that. But, of course, I had to tell all of you since you are my support now. Thanks for being there! Love Ken 3
Light Breeze Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 My friend, every giant steps start with small ones. These might be considered little things, but, for us brokenhearted it's a victory. Continue on with your life and be happy. BTW congrats for passing your exam. That's a damn high score:cool: 1
ThreeYearsDumb Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 A win is a win my book! I figure If an NFL player can celebrate a sack when their team is down by 4 TD's in the fourth quarter, I can celebrate the small wins in my life. Tomorrow in honor of Ken I'm going to find a reason to celebrate along with you. I had a hell of a day, dealing with heartbreak, financial struggles and general life malaise, but tomorrow, there will be a small celebration! 1
Author kenmore Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 Thank you both so much, it makes me feel damned good that people care and are pulling for me. Light breeze, thanks for your congrats, it's nice to get that! ThreeYearsDumb, I'll raise a glass to you tomorrow in celebration of your positive outlook! I'm in your boat with financial crap and we can both wish our exes a big fat FU! while we move on with our lives! Looking forward to tomorrow! Ken
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