cgf636 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) My ex and I broke up 2 days ago. The back story: We had aconversation about his concerns with our relationship prior to the holidays. Hethought we were too physical too fast though he initiated it, he had a"fear of failure" because he felt he disappointed the family of hislast girlfriend when they broke up since they dated 4 years and he didn't wantto disappoint my friends/family the same way, he was concerned about whether weneeded to spend xmas with each other's family so early in the relationship, hewas comparing our relationship to his roommate & roommate's girlfriend, and the list goes on. The break up: We went out for drinks on Saturday and talked for 2hours over drinks but he seemed off. Afterwards, we were walking across theparking lot to a nearby movie theater and I asked him how he was doing. He knewright away that I was referring to his previously expressed concerns prior tothe holiday... He started dancing around the idea and so I laid it out on thetable and straight out asked if he wanted to slow things down and decide on ourpace together, to take a break, or to break up. He said break up. I didn't sayanother word, turned and walked away. Post-break up: I broke texting etiquette first and texted him latethat night. Me: Are you ok? Him: Yea how are you doing? Me: I'm ok. Felt a little ****ty about just walking away last night but didn't think there was more to say/hear since our last talk. Him: Yea I agreeThen today he texted me saying "Hey, I hope your day wentwell and it wasn't as bad as you expected :)" I had been off work since mid-Dec and was worried about being overwhelmed coming back. I'm not sure how to reply.... or if I should even reply at all.Part of me feels like he probably texted this because it hurts to be both thedumper or dumpee in a relationship, and he will feel better by me saying my daywas good. Why should I help him to feel better when I don't feel better? Am I overthinking this? Edited January 6, 2015 by cgf636 html showing
melell Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 well... hmmmm.... People reach out for lots of reasons, imo, they usually want to know that are still 'important', they definitely do miss the attention if they are not getting it elsewhere. If it were me, and I insisted on replying, I would say something like 'Yep it went good'. I wouldn't want them to think I care either way. Regardless though, if it is over, replying is never a good idea. Try to forget about it...plotting just prolongs the distress for you.
Author cgf636 Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 Hmm yeah but I miss the attention too and it's nice to know he thought of me today. Replying will get him to think about me again even for a few minutes by saying "Yep it went good" I do know that it will only make it hurt more because then I'll be waiting for the next reply.... Ugh, how pathetic do I sound?
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