nzchick Posted March 27, 2005 Posted March 27, 2005 Okay, I just got out of a semi-serious relationship a month ago (my ex and i went out for a year and 3 months) and now I'm back in the dating game. I got a guy who likes me (lets name him Jeremy), BUT I DONT LIKE HIM COZ HE REEKS. So he's crossed out from the list. I got another guy who USED TO like me (lets name him derek) but I'm not sure if he still likes me! He texts me now and then but he just isnt that into me! I used to have this sort of formula to make any guy i like, like me back..but its just not working with him!! He texts me and I'd text back and then he wudnt text back anymore?? I'm sure its not because of WHAT i texted him.. but I think he's just playing with me to show that I'm the one who's into him?? Everytime I talk to a guy on the phone it just doesnt click anymore for them! I used to make guys go loco just by smiling and talking to them for 2 minutes but now.. nothing does the trick? IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME??? I asked derek casually if he wanted to watch a movie.. and he said he cant coz he's busy! I GOT REJECTED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! Slap me with reality!! What's going on!
blind_otter Posted March 27, 2005 Posted March 27, 2005 If it's only been a month, maybe you just need some more time. Things change, people change, you change. It's fine, don't be so hard on yourself. I mean come on. It's no big deal. Are you looking for like a serious relationship, or for a fling, or for a f*ck? Because guys respond differently to different signals, and you may be putting out mixed signals. Especially if you just got out of a relationship.
Author nzchick Posted March 27, 2005 Author Posted March 27, 2005 i want a fling (no ****s included) lol but will evolve into a serious relationship when it's the right time.. how do i send that signal?!?
fundamental Posted March 27, 2005 Posted March 27, 2005 Originally posted by nzchick I used to have this sort of formula to make any guy i like, like me back..but its just not working with him!! He texts me and I'd text back and then he wudnt text back anymore?? I'm sure its not because of WHAT i texted him.. but I think he's just playing with me to show that I'm the one who's into him?? Everytime I talk to a guy on the phone it just doesnt click anymore for them! I used to make guys go loco just by smiling and talking to them for 2 minutes but now.. nothing does the trick? Doesn't seem like anything is wrong with you. The thing is every single person in the world is different. The tactics you use to get a guy to like you is not going to work on every guy. Maybe you are sending mixed messages and not aware of it. Or, maybe what you think would work, doesn't work on him. How did you make guy go loco for you? By playing head games? After a while, it starts to wear thin. It doesn't mean the guy doesn't like you anymore but he may not know how to react. Stop trying to MAKE a guy like you and let him want to like you.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 what should i do then? i mean just be myself? text him when i feel like i wana?.. but he might think im so into him... (its the truth anyway but i cant let him know that coz he'll surely not find me as interesting anymore) what to do?
tyreas Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Originally posted by nzchick what should i do then? i mean just be myself? BINGO! Be yourself. Guys are always on the lookout for a single lady. Its been a month, you still have your swager just don't expect it to work everytime. If I was in your shoes I would msg him some more and perhaps ask him again(maybe he was really busy?) I usually hide the movie part by saying "I'm bored wanna go watch a movie?" You are watching a movie because you're bored not because you like him, at least thats what they think. If you guys go out and he doesn't bite on your charm, no worries, there are millions of single men in the sea.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 hehehe now that sounds like a plan thanks alot il text him now hehehe what should i say thoughh..sorry if i sound like im soo dumb but i really like him alot!
tyreas Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Be yourself. Thats all you can be. I don't want to write a script. Cupid hates impressionists anyhow.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 but dont guys love the chase? coz they love the thrill whether the girl likes them or not..?
tyreas Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 I personally hate it. There is no worse feeling than wondering if you have a girl or if she has no interest. Sometimes I wish girls would just take control and let me know. In the words of the great Chris Rock, "Every guy that talks to you is looking for sex". Sure some guys are after a friend but the majority of guys won't waste time on you if you have no interest in them. I am sure you heard that guys think of sex every 6 seconds. Yeah its true.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 but isnt making urself too accessible make u look cheap?..coz i dont want guys to think i want to have sex with them just like that anyway :/ i want them to treat me specially coz i am special.. LOL.. yeah i think every girl's special..
tyreas Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Every guy is after sex but that doesn't mean you have to give it to them. That can be a test in if you have a great guy, if they are willing to wait. Why in the world would they think you cheap? Be You. If he likes you for you, then he has no reason to believe you are cheap. Never has it crossed my mind that a girl was cheap. Yes I admit if you dress slutty, guys think you are slutty. Accessibility has nothing to do with being cheap. As far as sex goes, I have always left it up to the girl. I would much rather have a mind then a body anyway.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 Originally posted by tyreas Every guy is after sex but that doesn't mean you have to give it to them. That can be a test in if you have a great guy, if they are willing to wait. Why in the world would they think you cheap? Be You. If he likes you for you, then he has no reason to believe you are cheap. Never has it crossed my mind that a girl was cheap. Yes I admit if you dress slutty, guys think you are slutty. Accessibility has nothing to do with being cheap. As far as sex goes, I have always left it up to the girl. I would much rather have a mind then a body anyway. okay i really will try to be me.. i texted him a joke and he hasnt replied yet and its been 20 minutes :/ ugh il just forget him and on with this other guy who really likes me.. but who i dont like that much. I know I know.. give myself time i just got out of a relationship a month ago.. time time time
tyreas Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 You are almost sounding like you have to be in a relationship. Being single can be fun, ok alot of fun. Why do you feel the urgent need to have a man in your life? I know after a breakup you have a hole in your life, but sometimes its good just to live a little.
CurlyIam Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Wanna know what's wrong with you? You've just gone out of a RELATIONSHIP. You're a bit confused, that's all. I think tht all the boy hunt is a bit off. Why chase them when they are the ones that like to do the chasin'? Maybe you should take a few days for yourself, think of your girlie girl stuff, rebuild that confidence, think and analyse why your other relationship failed and only after THAT move on. There's no hurry, you know? the single guys are still gonna be out there and you're still gonna be in your early 20 in a couple of weeks. All the skeems with who does what... please. You are clingy and... maybe you want in a relationship again to make up for something? Why freak out if some guy ain't smsing you or calling you? You should take pleasure in speaking over the msn, in flirting exactly BECAUSE there's nothing more going on. I think you may not be ready for the dating world emotionally. Take your time to grieve a bit your old relationship. It's safer. And then, when you're calm, at peace with yourself, start dating again. Remember: there's no point in flirting if you don't take any pleasure in it.
fundamental Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Originally posted by nzchick okay i really will try to be me.. i texted him a joke and he hasnt replied yet and its been 20 minutes :/ Hey, it's 20 minutes, 30 mins, an hour, 10 hours...don't base whether or not he likes you on the time it takes to respond to a text message. I believe you are thinking too much (overanalyzing the situation). You must really like this guy. You are afraid of showing any kind of weakness and you have your guard up. What if he really likes you? If you show interest and stop showing interest, he might get mixed signals and decide to move on thinking that you don't like him. Just remember ..... NO FEAR... just be yourself because if you get into a relationship with this guy, become friends with this guy, or date this guy, the real you will eventually come out anyway.
fundamental Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 Originally posted by nzchick okay i really will try to be me.. i texted him a joke and he hasnt replied yet and its been 20 minutes :/ Hey, it's 20 minutes, 30 mins, an hour, 10 hours...don't base whether or not he likes you on the time it takes to respond to a text message. I believe you are thinking too much (overanalyzing the situation). You must really like this guy. You are afraid of showing any kind of weakness and you have your guard up. What if he really likes you? If you show interest and stop showing interest, he might get mixed signals and decide to move on thinking that you don't like him. Just remember ..... NO FEAR... just be yourself because if you get into a relationship with this guy, become friends with this guy, or date this guy, the real you will eventually come out anyway.
Author nzchick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 hey advice taken everyone. I'm not going to overreact about everything. I'm going to take it slow I got a date today with this guy and yeah I'll just have fun. Not like I want to be in a relationship of something Thanks a lot. Sheesh its so hard to be a girl. I am enjoying being single but I do miss the feeling of having someone to kiss and cuddle with
crazychick Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 A good relationship always seems to pop up when you are not looking for it. Seems like you are trying too hard. One thing I can tell you is that once you do find "the guy" and you get married and have a family, hopefully that lasts for the rest of your life. So in the mean time, have fun, figure out who you are on your own, relax, try new things, and just enjoy life for a while. Being single can be a great discovery process. Once you are relaxed and confident, the men will line up.
Author nzchick Posted March 29, 2005 Author Posted March 29, 2005 I just finished my date.. duno if it went well. But we did flirt coz he asked me to massage his left hand and I did and we were touching each others hair.. we didnt kiss but oh well thats our first date hehe
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