SCJACK Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I've been on NC for roughly 5 to nearly 6 months roughly. I haven't kept count or anything just been getting busy with my own life. My ex messaged me on gmail today and said happy birthday to me. I replied saying thanks and left it as that. and she said also happy new years and I ignored it and she logged off soon after. Just wanted to be polite and say thanks at least. Day before thanksgiving, she also messaged me saying "hey uhmm, just wanted to say happy thanksgiving" I didn't see it until near christmas since I was so busy at work and didn't realize she sent me that message, I ignored that as well. I wish she had the decency to care enough to actually talk ab something, but saying happy bday or happy thanksgiving whatever is such a waste of my time. It actually annoys me the fact that she thinks saying that matters at all vs actually being a real friend or something. She's blocked on my fb for awhile now too. Our last real conversation ended with me telling her to delete my number but clearly she hasn't.. after a week that I said that she texted me which I ignored as well.
gnick Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 So that's the 1st time she tried to contact you in your whole time of nc
erklat Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 You are supposed not to respond unless she gives you something of substance for your emotional well being. That includes especially fake pleasentries.
Elle1975 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 It actually annoys me the fact that she thinks saying that matters at all vs actually being a real friend or something. Totally agree. I call it the "Pity text". Oh and.. Happy Birthday to you!! Mine is in a few days..
reddragon588 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 First off, happy birthday!!!! Second off, you didn't need to reply, but you did have the perfect reply. Say thanks and leave it there. You're doing great, and in the future, don't feel you have to reply. Don't overthink it, keep sticking to NC. You're doing great and keep up your great work!
Author SCJACK Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 Thanks everyone! And happy early bday Elle! I haven't been on this site in forever! I understand it wasn't necessary for me to reply but I thought I might as well be the bigger person and say thanks anyway. It doesn't really affect me and honestly I think that will be the last time we ever "make contact" because I won't be saying anything for her bday when it comes up lol. This is the time in life where I will focus on my life to better myself and wait for the right person who will show me how much I am worth to them. My ex missed out on a great guy!... but oh well. 1
barky2 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Happy birthday!! So many threads have been started " if I get a bday text,merry Xmas, New Years ect what do I do!?!?" I think the simple thank you is the right thing to do. Some might say don't say anything, some might say just a plain thank you. Now get off this and go get yourself some birthday patron shots. I'd say you did the right thing. Barky 1
Author SCJACK Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) So that's the 1st time she tried to contact you in your whole time of nc She contacted me roughly 3 times since I went NC but only to say happy bday, happy thanksgiving, and to say thanks for something I did on her birthday awhile back but I wouldn't say it was worth much of a conversation or to tug at me... like someone else said earlier "pity text". I feel like blowing up on her and just tell her to stop but nope not going to do it... just going to continue on with life.... If we were ever to cross paths again I'd probably would be humble about it. I've learned to just have a loving/compassionate heart no matter how different people treat me. (Like Jesus Christ) It gives me peace to know that I'm a better person. Happy birthday!! So many threads have been started " if I get a bday text,merry Xmas, New Years ect what do I do!?!?" I think the simple thank you is the right thing to do. Some might say don't say anything, some might say just a plain thank you. Now get off this and go get yourself some birthday patron shots. I'd say you did the right thing. Barky Thanks Barky! Nice to see you are still around and also glad to know I have you're approval on if I did the right thing lol. Signing off! Edited January 6, 2015 by SCJACK
kenmore Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 It's too late for me to read this tonight, but it's still only 11:18 here in San Diego tonight, so happy birthday! Ken
kenmore Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 She contacted me roughly 3 times since I went NC but only to say happy bday, happy thanksgiving, and to say thanks for something I did on her birthday awhile back but I wouldn't say it was worth much of a conversation or to tug at me... like someone else said earlier "pity text". I feel like blowing up on her and just tell her to stop but nope not going to do it... just going to continue on with life.... If we were ever to cross paths again I'd probably would be humble about it. I've learned to just have a loving/compassionate heart no matter how different people treat me. (Like Jesus Christ) It gives me peace to know that I'm a better person. I am signing off, but I read this and had to say that her contacting you is a sign of her wanting you and a sign of weakness. I know people will ride me for saying that and they are probably right, and I don't want to give false hope, but anybody who says a cookie cutter reply is the "right thing to do" is a fool! Every relationship is different, and every reply is different. Take what I said with a grain of salt, and you will be (99%) right, but I am a romantic and always hope for the stupid 1%. I will get hurt almost all of the time. It still seems worth it to me. I guess it depends on whether it seems worth it to you. Either way, all my best and peace in your thoughts! Sorry if I gave you more to think about. G'night Ken
Maggie4 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I think you handled it well. You were polite, without giving her false hope. If you had completely ignored her, that might actually send the wrong message that you are angry or avoiding her, then she might imagine those emotions indicate you still have feelings. It's hard to let someone down easy. Just know that in the long run, you are doing her a favor. After a while, she'll get the message.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I am signing off, but I read this and had to say that her contacting you is a sign of her wanting you and a sign of weakness. Yeah, this isn't accurate at all. Sorry dude. If anything, it's politeness. No need to fill his head up with this type of hope, especially since it's likely unwarranted. If it means anything, she'll do a lot more than send a "happy birthday" text.
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