angelj Posted March 27, 2005 Posted March 27, 2005 ok so im sure some of you have read my posts in the friends and lovers category... im just pretty screwed up over the recent events in my life and i really am having trouble finding peace with it and coping. in case you dont feel like reading about the past (which i dont blame you its about 54 posts long...) ill sum it up for you... boy and i have worked together for a few years. boy and i developed major attraction to each other/started becoming friends and developed bond over many months. boy ended 4 year F'ed up relationship with ex girlfriend. boy and i continued friends relationship and then became SUPER close. boy and i had feelings escalate for one another. (boy and i are also very skeptical about trust/letting another person into our hearts so this took time) boy and i fell pretty hard for each other. boy (over the past 8 months) said things like "you are my princess...i cant believe how hard we have fallen for each other...i think about you everyday..." but boy also constantly said, "i already feel like you are my gf, sometimes it scares me...i really need to get over the pain of my last relationship...you are not a rebound you mean so much to me and all i want is to be with you but im scared to hurt you...etc..." i always assured and even really believed...we were just having fun! he wasnt my boyfriend...nor was i trying to force him to be! without all the rest of the details...boy and i barely talk anymore. boy and i don't hang out anymore and this was after a 2 week period of being MIA and not calling me nor anyone back. (boy became even more confused and a little depressed) after confronting the boy about his lack of calling/sudden-flakeyness he couldnt respond with a clear answer. but continued to say how perfect i was how i would always be perfect and nothing was my fault and that he please wanted me to still call him every so often. i then find out from a mutual friend that boy, "meant everything he ever said to me, had every intention of starting a relationship with me but then freaked out and realized he could not." then, put in simpler terms, "the boy wants to be a whore and do whatever he wants right now. he doesnt want to tell you this because he doesnt want to hurt you." that leads me to today. i am completely heartbroken. what i think has been the hardest is that i really let myself fall really really hard for this guy. i was A. 100 % positive that he would first of all not even be interested in me...(i find him extremely attractive/so does every other girl that walks this damn planet) and B. i had no idea it would even come this far. he agreed with both of them saying that is how he felt about me. he also said he always knew we would connect but he wasnt expecting it to be like this and this fast and i fell into his life and he was glad i did. but he also always gave me some future crap and how he wanted me so badly to be a part of his future to whcih I always said im too scared ill be over you by then or you will b e over me we should start something now. the boy is out of work for a while again due to an injury. i dont have to see him but its still hard not to call every now and then. and when i do call he always answers/calls back immediately and talks to me for at least a good 15 minutes about everything going on in his life and mine. im so hurt because i finally was letting myself settle down and i was really happy with this one. i am 22, the majority of my relationships have been short and sweet or blown up in my face, the guys usually having some sort of addiction be it to drugs or other women. aka ive dated a bunch of LOSERS but also never really wnated to settle down into some sort of major commitement. ive always been the social party girl who meets lots of guys and dates around but never lets herself get caught up in the moment. im picky about who i really become emotionally and physically involved with. this boy also seemed to possess all the qualities i have been looking for lately. it just hurts. if someone cares about you so much, yes the mature thing to do is push you away since he cant step up to the plate and maintain another serious relationship..but that is such a hard pill for me to swallow. i guess since ive never been there, i just keep thinking if he cared THAT much...wouldnt he try? i suppose the fear really does consume you. but that leaves me so sad, knowing how great things are/were between us and knowing that he thought the same but cant deal with it..i never even put pressure on being serious with me. i thought we were always "just having fun." i guess he felt otherwise? i also cant help telling myself that i am exactly like another girl he was once involved with. this girl, "sue" he began to date in the middle of one of the break-ups between him and the ex. he took sues virginity, dated for a few months but then when ex wanted to get back together, jumped to it. sue is obsessed with him. she writes him letters from college, calls his house/work constantly, and shows up all the time when shes home from school. he always says how she drives him crazy and wishes shed leave him alone. but i also know how he wont be cruel to her and say get the F out of my life. he just tries to let her down gently. kind but i cant help feeling just like her. i even said this once to him and he laughed at first then got serious and said you are NOT sue. you are nothing like sue. i didnt have an 1/8th of the feelings i have for you for sue. which is odd because him and sue were actually dating...be it rebound for him or not. and we never put a label on us. (only when we were drunk...he would slip and introduce himself to people as my boyfriend) i still feel like sue. any suggestions on what to do. getting over this right now is impossible. i cant think oo maybe the future because you cant wait around for someone. but it sucks letting go. i hate being miserable.
shachic Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 i really wish i knew how to help, but i'm actually in a very similar situation. i'm so exhausted from crying all night, that i'm actually missing work today (which....is bad, i can't afford to miss work, but there is no way i can get myself up to go to work.....i feel as though i've already missed so much work already......). the guy that i've liked for the past 10months...also played a cat and mouse game with me. i also fell 100% for him....i dunno how or why. u are right, u just can't help it when stuff like this happens. Just know this is not your fault at all...I know its easy to beat yourself up, but its really not your fault. U cant help the way you felt about this guy...if like someone u like them..sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason. And..sometimes u fall for them SOO hard, thats is just incredibly difficult to get over them....unless maybe you meet a special person that makes you forget about them. that's me anyways. Well, I am SO hurt and sad today, b/ the guy I liked - i JUST found out the reason why he's been so distant towards me is b/c he has been seeing someone else, and they are now a 'couple'. I already had trust issues, and had low self esteem before.....but now I feel even worse, to get rejected for another person. He had told me he didn't have a time for a relationship, b/c he had so much going on in his life. But....now I know he just didn't ahve time for a relationship WITH ME. how sucky is that...? i feel completely numb, and sick to my stomach. So..you are SO right. Heartbreak sucks..that is a complete understatement.
shachic Posted March 28, 2005 Posted March 28, 2005 i really wish i knew how to help, but i'm actually in a very similar situation. i'm so exhausted from crying all night, that i'm actually missing work today (which....is bad, i can't afford to miss work, but there is no way i can get myself up to go to work.....i feel as though i've already missed so much work already......). the guy that i've liked for the past 10months...also played a cat and mouse game with me. i also fell 100% for him....i dunno how or why. u are right, u just can't help it when stuff like this happens. Just know this is not your fault at all...I know its easy to beat yourself up, but its really not your fault. U cant help the way you felt about this guy...if like someone u like them..sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason. And..sometimes u fall for them SOO hard, thats is just incredibly difficult to get over them....unless maybe you meet a special person that makes you forget about them. that's me anyways. Well, I am SO hurt and sad today, b/ the guy I liked - i JUST found out the reason why he's been so distant towards me is b/c he has been seeing someone else, and they are now a 'couple'. I already had trust issues, and had low self esteem before.....but now I feel even worse, to get rejected for another person. He had told me he didn't have a time for a relationship, b/c he had so much going on in his life. But....now I know he just didn't ahve time for a relationship WITH ME. how sucky is that...? i feel completely numb, and sick to my stomach. So..you are SO right. Heartbreak sucks..that is a complete understatement.
latefragment Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 thanks for sharing your experiences... All i can say is that I'm going through the same thing right now and I hurt so much that I feel like ending it (I would never do so, of course, but it sure feels that way). It's such a struggle ... i'm hurting, and i feel like i'm dying... Help!
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