Delcore Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Greetings! To be straight to the point, I myself am a single male possibly interested in dating. Although I haven't found anyone yet, I'm concerned about what a partner would want in return from me. To be more concise about myself, I'm a sophomore student who attends highschool. Often times, I tend to lack solid free time to cash in due to the fact how I'm usually very busy with my honors/ap classes - and soon, potentially a part-time job. I'm no genius by any measure nor do I claim to be one, but at the very least I try to keep myself focused in school and apply myself to the best of my ability. My main question is this - "What would a female want out of me if I were to date her?/AKA - What would a woman want out of me?" Maybe some of you think the answer should be simple: treat her nice, lovingly, and have a relationship. Of course, I'd agree with that point completely. However, often times I hear males rant about, "Bro, if you want a girlfriend, get ready to be answering your cell phone 24/7" or something like "Get ready to kiss that sweet-ol free time goodbye". The main issue is this, I'd like a partner but am worried that I wouldn't be able to devote enough time to her - there's not really much other then that. If that isn't bad enough, I don't own a car nor live near the neighborhood my school is zoned for. Hell, maybe the answer is obvious, 'Don't date if you feel you can't do much for her' but, I'd feel much more reassured with some second opinions. Thanks folks, hoping to read some insightful and informative posts!
somedude81 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Honestly, I'm 33 years old and don't have a clue what women actually want. Beware. What women say they want is always what they want, and sometimes they don't even know what they want.
me85 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I'm almost 30. Me being a female, I'm not sure what I truly want at this point in my life. But I think the general response would be for a man to be patient and understanding with our feelings. To also respect us and treat us as equals. There are men who still think in terms of what they think women should be doing and should be like. That's very outdated, disrespectful and unfair to women. We don't all want to stay at home raising babies and catering to our men 24/7. Though there are women that are perfectly happy being that way. I guess I just want to feel safe with a man. In every possible way. I want assurance that he'll always be there for me and be my strength when I'm weak. I want him to think highly of me and be proud to call me his own. I want him to be faithful, always. I want to laugh with him. I would want us to be each other's best friend. Why are all those simple basic qualities so hard to come by? It's why I remain single. Because I don't want to ever settle for less than I deserve ever again. 1
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 To be more concise about myself, I'm a sophomore student who attends highschool. You could have just said "I'm a high school sophmore." It's even more concise and much less pretentious. Then again, I was pretty pretentious too at your age. Sorry, I'm just giving you a hard time. Here's the thing: absolutely no one at your age has any idea what they are doing, what they want or what they're looking for. Everyone is making it up as they go along, and everyone is such a raging mass of contradictory hormones that even the brightest people make bad decisions. That's okay. High school dating is about learning to conduct yourself with someone else, putting their needs ahead of your own, and making out at football games. If anyone told you "all girls want x, y and z" then they're probably wrong, because when I was a high school girl my wants changed on an hourly basis. "Dating" does not have a consistent definition in high school. For some people it means walking each other to class and kissing in the halls; for others it just means awkward fumbly sex on weekends. When you find a girl you want to date, just be communicative. Listen to her. Ask her what SHE wants and what having a boyfriend means to her. If that's not at all compatible with what you're willing to do, then move on. But you should meet in the middle if you can. You will be much better at dating later on in life if you learn when to compromise, when to stand your ground and how to work together to solve problems. PS: Call them "girls". "Female" is oddly clinical and disconcerting; it makes you feel like a creature on a National Geographic documentary. 3
coolheadal Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I'm almost 30. Me being a female, I'm not sure what I truly want at this point in my life. But I think the general response would be for a man to be patient and understanding with our feelings. To also respect us and treat us as equals. There are men who still think in terms of what they think women should be doing and should be like. That's very outdated, disrespectful and unfair to women. We don't all want to stay at home raising babies and catering to our men 24/7. Though there are women that are perfectly happy being that way. I guess I just want to feel safe with a man. In every possible way. I want assurance that he'll always be there for me and be my strength when I'm weak. I want him to think highly of me and be proud to call me his own. I want him to be faithful, always. I want to laugh with him. I would want us to be each other's best friend. Why are all those simple basic qualities so hard to come by? It's why I remain single. Because I don't want to ever settle for less than I deserve ever again. Interesting you think as I would think for the right women. I can't find that right women. They don't tell me the truth they find all type of excuses, you give them space they cheat on you. But your right men should allow you to have a career and not let you fall into the 1940 to 1950s ways of living. Since I am not from those eras really can't comment more. But what I've heard is pretty much how most guy friends I that mental picture in their head/minds like you had mentioned. There is always H.O.P.E!
venusishername Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) This is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. I can't give you the answer. Every woman is different but we all have the same basic needs and desires that we want from a man. Your focus right now should be completing high school and having fun with girls, taking them to a movie and talking after school. I remember those days fondly when I was in high school. It's nothing to take so seriously yet. Enjoy the innocence of where you are now, and no rush to be in a 'relationship'. If I could turn back time and be a sophomore in high school again, what I'd want is to out for ice cream with my cute class crush, and talk on the phone a couple times a week with him. We'd go to the beach or maybe study and have coffee on the weekends. At 15-16 years old, that's just about as deep as it gets. Wait until you're a little older to worry about what women really want. Even grown men don't know that!! Edited January 6, 2015 by venusishername
carhill Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 What would a female want out of me if I were to date her?/AKA - What would a woman want out of me?" Girls your age will like you more if you're popular, enjoy holding your hand, breathlessly texting naughties while mom and dad are downstairs, and making out under the stadium bleachers after the game or school dance. The more bold will want to go right to having sex. Whatever was the whole world this week will be forgotten next week. Everything will seem more colorful and textured. Sometimes you'll think your head will explode. All in all, pretty normal teenager stuff. Enjoy school, socializing and building friendships with your fellow males as well as dating the young ladies. Lots of life yet to come. Perhaps, in another decade or so, ask, seriously 'What would a female want out of me if I were to date her?/AKA - What would a woman want out of me?"' The answer will be a universe apart from what it is today, as will you. Good luck!
EgoJoe Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Most females would classify other females as girls until twenty five or so. I truly think that you will be better off focusing on what you want. Also on a part time job and a scholarship.
genuinelyloverly7 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 What everyone else said. And Honesty. Respectful, considerate, thoughtful honesty. But part of that is being honest about the fact that you are focusing on bettering yourself for your future. I say this so that you make sure to tell them what you have available to give them of yourself. If they don't like it, you know not to waste your time with them. Other than that, attention. Telling her how important she is to you. Being affectionate. Being thoughtful.
Danda Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 If you think terms that all women want the same thing, as if we are one collective hive-mind, then you are going to have a rough ride in the romance department. Here's how you approach dating: You let it be known to girls that you think you could have chemistry with that you available, flirt with them a little bit and gauge their responses. Never do this with multiple girls in front of each other. Evolutionary science says this is a no-no. When you get a positive, mutually-flirty response from a girl, stop flirting with other girls and hone in on her. Be honest and upfront about what you want, who you are, what you have to offer (such as how much time you could spend with a girlfriend), your priorities in life (such as your academic performance), etc. If the two of you are compatible, the romance will commence as you both keep showing obvious interest. If the two of you are not compatible (one or both stops showing interest), then you go back to flirting with different girls whom you find cute. 1
shet Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 PS: Call them "girls". "Female" is oddly clinical and disconcerting; it makes you feel like a creature on a National Geographic documentary. God, can I like this some more, it gets right on my tits and so many guys do it! It's so weird! They sound like ****ing Ferengi from Star Trek! 2
serial muse Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Greetings! To be straight to the point, I myself am a single male possibly interested in dating. Although I haven't found anyone yet, I'm concerned about what a partner would want in return from me. To be more concise about myself, I'm a sophomore student who attends highschool. Often times, I tend to lack solid free time to cash in due to the fact how I'm usually very busy with my honors/ap classes - and soon, potentially a part-time job. I'm no genius by any measure nor do I claim to be one, but at the very least I try to keep myself focused in school and apply myself to the best of my ability. My main question is this - "What would a female want out of me if I were to date her?/AKA - What would a woman want out of me?" Maybe some of you think the answer should be simple: treat her nice, lovingly, and have a relationship. Of course, I'd agree with that point completely. However, often times I hear males rant about, "Bro, if you want a girlfriend, get ready to be answering your cell phone 24/7" or something like "Get ready to kiss that sweet-ol free time goodbye". The main issue is this, I'd like a partner but am worried that I wouldn't be able to devote enough time to her - there's not really much other then that. If that isn't bad enough, I don't own a car nor live near the neighborhood my school is zoned for. Hell, maybe the answer is obvious, 'Don't date if you feel you can't do much for her' but, I'd feel much more reassured with some second opinions. Thanks folks, hoping to read some insightful and informative posts! Hey, OP - there have to be girls in your classes who are just as busy and interested in their futures as you; just because someone's got two x chromosomes doesn't mean she'll require phone calls 24/7 and make you the center of everything in her life! Things are indeed more intense at that age; it's just part of being a teenager, but I'm just saying that you really shouldn't take your first steps into dating while assuming it means the woman will become a millstone around your neck. Depending on who you date, she can be her own person, too - so maybe find another honors/AP student who's focused on getting good grades and has a job and that time-management problem will take care of itself. One thing that's universal for anyone at any age: Honesty and respect matter. If you need alone time, don't just disappear and make her wonder what's going on; people - boys and girls, women and men - tend to respond well to straightforward respect.
Author Delcore Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 Thanks for all the responses and posts thus far, highly appreciated. Although one can probably not say that all women have the same needs, on average, how much time does one typically need to devote to their girlfriends? And damn, I know this sounds strange coming out (almost like a job if you will) but I'm seriously curious to know what the typical relationship devotes to what in another in regards to time. Of course, if you were in love with the other person, you probably wouldn't mind spending endless hours with one another, however; I myself whether attached to the other person or still can't wrap my head around time constraints and neglecting time with a partner. Doesn't seem to be any sense made from dating a girl if you only see her like 2 days or so a week after school.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 What women want from a relationship is largely the same thing men want: Sex, companionship, compatibility, understanding, conversation, support, fun, etc. Yes, some women also want money and financial support, but not all. But basically women want the same things men want. The problem is not this. It is what women ARE ATTRACTED TO. That is completely different than what a relationship is based on. Tons of people would be great in relationships, but physical attraction breaks the deal. 1
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