Eighty_nine Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I'm in a really good relationship. Our feelings are reciprocal and clear, we respect one another, treat each other well, have fun, good conversation and good sex. It's just under 3 months in. The "problem" (if there is one) is I'm starting to feel like we see one another too much. Because of Holiday festivities, I saw him 5 days last week, and again yesterday. When I'm not with him I think about him, miss him and I'm always up for seeing him. He seems to feel the same, and so we end up hanging out a lot. We see each other a minimum of 3 days during normal weeks, and often 4 days. I'm starting to wonder if it's too much- we were noticeably quieter during our last couple of dates, and I think we may just not have anything to talk about right now, we've spent so much time together this week! Of course, I still enjoy his company, but sometimes the "duller" dates worry me- that we're not connecting enough. We've had so many really great ones, though, and I'm wondering if maybe we're just spending too much time together and not doing enough of our own thing. What do you think? How often did you see your S/O about 3 months in? In previous relationships it was only like twice a week for me, at this point.
toolforgrowth Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Time apart is just as important as time together. Kudos for picking up on that. Schedule some time with just you and your friends or for a lazy night at home, whatever feels good to you. And tell your BF he can go do his thing while you're out/being lazy. He can play video games, watch bad action movies, or go hang out with his buddies. I love my GF very much, but I'd go crazy if I didn't get my alone time (and no, I'm not talking about masturbation lol). I communicated this very early on to my GF, so she knows this and respects it. We're a few months in, and we'll spend a weekend plus a day or two together, and then we'll spend a few days apart. Granted, I've got a daughter and she's got two, so real life is a big factor...but I LIKE it this way. It's a good blend and balance for now.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 At 90 days, once or twice per week. Maybe 3 times if we have something special going on. I need a lot of space.
BlueIris Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 We spend every weekend and holidays together. We live 2 ½ hours apart and both work.
losangelena Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 My guy and I are at six months, and we just spent 17 of the last 20 days together (I counted). That's a lot! And like you, I wondered if it was a bit too much, as typically, during normal, non-holiday times we see each other maybe three to four days a week. I think there's a normal ebb and flow to relationships though. If you feel like you're spending too much time together, pull back. If you want more, find time for more. Also, not every date is going to be a chatter fest. Both me and my boyfriend are naturally more quiet/reserved. We have fun together, but our dates are never talk a minute gab fests. Besides, I want/need a partner who I can be quiet around and it's no big deal. Sounds like things are going just fine for y'all!
candie13 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 three times per week is a LOT, on regular basis. Alternating two to three, would be cool. once during the week, once during the weekend... don't be afraid to ask for space, if you need it, it will only help your relationship
Author Eighty_nine Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 My guy and I are at six months, and we just spent 17 of the last 20 days together (I counted). That's a lot! And like you, I wondered if it was a bit too much, as typically, during normal, non-holiday times we see each other maybe three to four days a week. I think there's a normal ebb and flow to relationships though. If you feel like you're spending too much time together, pull back. If you want more, find time for more. Also, not every date is going to be a chatter fest. Both me and my boyfriend are naturally more quiet/reserved. We have fun together, but our dates are never talk a minute gab fests. Besides, I want/need a partner who I can be quiet around and it's no big deal. Sounds like things are going just fine for y'all! They are. I just like to look for problems. lol Thanks so much for the input, everyone. I think a little farther down the line when we are at that super-comfortable spot this wouldn't be too much, but I see now that it probably is. I'm doing less of my normal stuff- spending time alone, seeing friends- and that's important stuff. I also need to realize each date isn't going to be a "chatter fest" like losangelena said. We date people because we feel a connection to them, but it doesn't mean it's always-on and perfect 100% of the time. 2
melodymatters Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 ...And, in general guys don't worry about this stuff too much, so while you are sitting there analyzing "Is this too much ? Is he getting bored ? Maybe it's because he doesn't like my new hair cut", he's probably just wondering if it would be ok to play a few rounds of Call of Duty and wondering when you guys are going to order that pizza you discussed ! 2
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