mtber75 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 This woman that I was very interested in flaked out on me or just lost interest! She texted me before Christmas saying yes let's hang out for lunch or something. At Christmas she texted me saying Merry Christmas! I took that as her being interested in me at least as a friend so I called her up saying let's meetup after Christmas for lunch or something (left it open ended and I wasn't suggesting anything more than that). I never got a reply back? I wished her a Happy New Year too and she also never replied back! WTF! I wasn't bothering her with annoying needy texts or anything like that too. If she wasn't interested don't say let meet up in the first place! I just think its very rude for both women and men to not follow through on their words!
CarrieT Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 let's meetup after Christmas for lunch or something (left it open ended and I wasn't suggesting anything more than that). Ask her out ONE MORE TIME. Not open-ended or something so wishy-washy, but an actual date. Everyone is busy during the holidays and now that they are over, it is time for action, not texting banter. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 the holidays throw everything off. Today is the 1st day back to her routine. Try one more time but call, don't text. 1
TabbyHearts Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 seriously, welcome to dating. and it's not women...it's men AND women. men flake on me all the time despite promising words. I'm going through it right now and even though I've been through it before, it's like learning the lesson all over again! FUN :D
Dallers Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Don't do it OP. You have text twice already a third time WILL then make you look needy. If she wanted to date you should would have replied. Plus if she liked you then you would not need to have to contact her at all she will be trying to get your attention. Once is always enough. Twice is already too much and if you text again like others are recommending you will be met with no reply again and then feel like crap. Move on. 4
lauri Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 When a girl is into you she makes it easy for you to schedule a date and see her. Next time, ask out a girl with more concrete plans. The minute she didn't respond to your offer to go out on a date you should have left it alone and not sent her that happy new years. She may have poked around to find out what happened to you if you kind of just disappeared. Anyways, just leave it alone and if she comes around don't waste your time being emotionally there for her. If she's not willing to see you / date you, don't waste your time with this.
TabbyHearts Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Plus if she liked you then you would not need to have to contact her at all she will be trying to get your attention. The general female MO is to not contact a guy, to let him "chase".
TigerCub Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 OP, I don't know why people do stuff like that. I also think that some men are guilty of flaking like that just as much as some women are. I agree with Dallers - don't reach out to her anymore. You already tried twice and if she was interested she would have gotten back to you - don't try a third time. You have already made it clear you like her and wanted to go out sometime. It really sucks when people do what she did. It's rude, annoying and just discouraging when it comes to dating. But the good news is...not every woman out there is a mind games flake like her and hopefully the next one will be worthwhile
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 It could be a million and one reasons. I learned to NEVER have expectations when it comes to dating. You will only set yourself up for disappointment. 1
carhill Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Why do women do this? 1. Unknown. Can't read minds. 2. Because they can. Think about it. People do what they can get away with. They push boundaries. If the consequences aren't sufficiently onerous to encourage socially acceptable interaction, then they keep pushing until they are. I learned this over many years/decades in an environment where a surplus of men were chasing a deficit of women. It was exceeding difficult to find a woman who was single, and even more so one who was polite and engaging. It was like visiting an alternative universe when immersing in a completely different demographic where women were actually seeking out men and, whoa, it was like being with what I considered to be normal and healthy human beings. However, that perception does not preclude the reality that we can't read minds and have no way of knowing for sure why anyone does anything. We just deal with what's in front of us.
Dallers Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 The general female MO is to not contact a guy, to let him "chase". Wrong. A man has to approach he does not have to "chase" and if anything the man who does not chase gets more attention than the man that does. Girls want what they cannot have, they want what pulls away from them and they want what they don't understand. The mysterious man, the man who is the prize, the man who is valuable and they cannot understand why. OP has shown his poker face and she has not thought twice about him, literally. She will not be turned by a third attempt.
TabbyHearts Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Wrong. A man has to approach he does not have to "chase" and if anything the man who does not chase gets more attention than the man that does. Girls want what they cannot have, they want what pulls away from them and they want what they don't understand. The mysterious man, the man who is the prize, the man who is valuable and they cannot understand why. OP has shown his poker face and she has not thought twice about him, literally. She will not be turned by a third attempt. In this situation, yes. He has attempted to make an actual plan, she knows that, and she is choosing not to respond. In the situation where the woman is waiting to hear from the man, the general advice given to women is to not chase the man.
kendahke Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) This woman that I was very interested in flaked out on me or just lost interest! She texted me before Christmas saying yes let's hang out for lunch or something. At Christmas she texted me saying Merry Christmas! I took that as her being interested in me at least as a friend so I called her up saying let's meetup after Christmas for lunch or something (left it open ended and I wasn't suggesting anything more than that). I never got a reply back? I wished her a Happy New Year too and she also never replied back! WTF! I wasn't bothering her with annoying needy texts or anything like that too. If she wasn't interested don't say let meet up in the first place! I just think its very rude for both women and men to not follow through on their words! Block her. Make her have to go out of her way to contact you. If she was interested in you, she'd have responded before now. Yes people are busy during the holidays, but they aren't that busy that they can't return a text or a phone call *if they have mutual interest*. Seriously. And men do the same thing. I've just gone through it, and he's the one who was all gung-ho about meeting. Then silence. So I blocked him and moved on. Edited January 5, 2015 by kendahke
Dallers Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 In this situation, yes. He has attempted to make an actual plan, she knows that, and she is choosing not to respond. In the situation where the woman is waiting to hear from the man, the general advice given to women is to not chase the man. If the women is expecting to hear from the man that is not chasing that is just contacting..... There is no such thing as an MO and rules are made to be broken. If you want to know if a women is into you make known your interest and then withdraw never chase, ever. It is all about the DENNIS system. Demonstrate value Engage physically Nurture dependence Neglect emotionally Inspire hope Separate entirely
Author mtber75 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 Don't do it OP. You have text twice already a third time WILL then make you look needy. If she wanted to date you should would have replied. Plus if she liked you then you would not need to have to contact her at all she will be trying to get your attention. Once is always enough. Twice is already too much and if you text again like others are recommending you will be met with no reply again and then feel like crap. Move on. Yeah I already moved on! I'm a businessperson and I just can't stand people who back out on their words. She said let's meet up not once, not twice but three times. I was only texting her onces or twice every few days too. I think she lost interest when I actually called her (left a message) after Christmas?
Jules Dash Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 1. Unknown. Can't read minds. 2. Because they can. Think about it. People do what they can get away with. They push boundaries. If the consequences aren't sufficiently onerous to encourage socially acceptable interaction, then they keep pushing until they are. I learned this over many years/decades in an environment where a surplus of men were chasing a deficit of women. It was exceeding difficult to find a woman who was single, and even more so one who was polite and engaging. It was like visiting an alternative universe when immersing in a completely different demographic where women were actually seeking out men and, whoa, it was like being with what I considered to be normal and healthy human beings. However, that perception does not preclude the reality that we can't read minds and have no way of knowing for sure why anyone does anything. We just deal with what's in front of us. Once you reach the point where you come to this realization, dating becomes so much easier and enjoyable. My attitude now is "she did it for whatever reason" then I check my email and text messages for any new communication.
FitChick Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Girls want what they cannot have, they want what pulls away from them and they want what they don't understand. If a woman isn't attracted she will be relieved when the man stops bugging her. 2
Jules Dash Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I think it should be clarified that ignoring a woman will not magically generate attraction. Stopping the pursuit can help when there is mutual attraction and there seems to be a tug of war on who will do the pursuing. If a woman is not interested, she is not interested. Covering yourself in $100 dollar bills and muscles while ignoring her won't help.
Dallers Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I think it should be clarified that ignoring a woman will not magically generate attraction. Stopping the pursuit can help when there is mutual attraction and there seems to be a tug of war on who will do the pursuing. If a woman is not interested, she is not interested. Covering yourself in $100 dollar bills and muscles while ignoring her won't help. If only this was actually true. But in the real world it is not. Money and muscles can make a girl change her mind. I have neither. Clearly my personality rocks
BlueIris Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) .... I called her up saying let's meetup after Christmas for lunch or something (left it open ended and I wasn't suggesting anything more than that). ... I just think its very rude for both women and men to not follow through on their words! If you want to date her, ask her out for a specific date, time and activity. I don't see that she did anything rude or wrong because you did't ask her out for anything. Yeah I already moved on! I'm a businessperson and I just can't stand people who back out on their words. She said let's meet up not once, not twice but three times. I was only texting her onces or twice every few days too. I think she lost interest when I actually called her (left a message) after Christmas? The same is true for business. Commit to a day, time and place or you won't land the client. Edited January 6, 2015 by BlueIris 1
Author mtber75 Posted January 6, 2015 Author Posted January 6, 2015 Yeah I already moved on! I'm a businessperson and I just can't stand people who back out on their words. She said let's meet up not once, not twice but three times. I was only texting her onces or twice every few days too. I think she lost interest when I actually called her (left a message) after Christmas? ***UPDATE*** Just when I was ready to move on...She texted me today say oh sorry for the delay, I was on vacation. Let's meet up for lunch end of the month when I'm free? I do want to meet up with her. But I let her decide. It seems like she is playing way too hard to get LOL!
candie13 Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 it seems like she has many other options and for sure other priorities. get more dates for the upcoming weeks and keep her at the bottom of your list. You're not a priority, she should not be one either. Maybe diversion, at best, if nothing else more exciting comes along until then. keep it real, man
4everloveu Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 The man that I'm dating doing the same thing. After the first meeting, he said we will meet up again. The only thing is he has full custody of his 9 years old son. He never contact me again and just let it be. If he not intersted than why said he like me and want to get to know each other.
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