Can you pull off a casual relationship when you can leave the feelings/emotions out?

[adilaurentis]

A guy I dated very briefly a few months ago and I became friends later while I felt something toward him and he obviously didn't feel anything back. We get along so well though and one time we had sex and then it led to sex again another time when we hang out. We clearly feel like we're more than friends but just unwilling to take the extra step because of obvious lack of feelings on his part. I can't say that I don't feel anything either but my feelings aren't that strong to be honest. When we chat we'd flirt occasionally still. He got out of a relationship a while ago and is still recovering from it too.

 

However he seems to always think of me when he's horny, which I sort of understand because given our situations we seem to be good "sex partners" for each other now. Every now and then he'd feel guilty that he's afraid I might be hurt because he's worried he might be leading me on. Of course I wasn't happy about this setup at first as I've never done casual/sexual relationships with people without a commitment, but now I've come to accept it more or have gotten used to it. I realize the lack of feelings here but we do have an emotional connection on a certain level. I've never been single for too long in my life so I guess there just has to be a way for humans to satisfy that basic sexual urge. I just wonder if it's possible to continue this casual relationship if we can keep emotions checked at door so that no one is hurt in the end. I also realize that if either of us meets anyone we're serious about, then this set up has to stop obviously.

 

Just seeking opinions if anyone has experienced this before. I hate to say it but it's hard to say no to this when you're hot and bothered. Also I'll point out that we don't live exactly that close to each other so it's not like he's using me as a booty call every night at 10pm. We are good friends and connect well in other aspects too, but there's just always potential for sleeping together whenever we hang out one-on-one in a private setting.

[Jules Dash]

I can tell you from a man's perspective that after many years of dating and trying to pull of this strictly casual sex relationship that I have never ran into a woman who didn't eventually develop feelings and want something much more in the end. It always happen every single time. We would have this understanding for maybe a few weeks or couple of months then all of a sudden, I am given an ultimatum.

 

Either of you will eventually develop feelings and want something more. It is just human nature. The more time you spend with each other, engaged in intimacy, the more you become attached to them. Enjoy it for now but know that it will very likely reach the point where real feelings get involved.

[JChristie]

i suppose it's possible in theory. if you are really clear that he is just not someone you would want to be in a relationship with, other than the casual. And you are still actively looking for Mr. Right or pursuing personal goals of self betterment, education, carreer focus, etc. then maybe you can pull this off.

 

it is imperative that you stay focused on your life, and do not spend any of your energy on this fellow, except for when you are together.

 

lastly, casual reltps means that he may be sleeping with other women. this could be a problem if he is not a super hygenic and careful man. and you need to be hygenic and safe when having sex with him. STD's are real.

 

still, i know that some people need sex more than others. so no one can know your heart and mind. just be safe.