Jimmyjackson Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I think sometimes somethings are too broken and can't be fixed, this sounds like one of those situations. 1
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 Thank you everyone for sharing your opinions. Guess tonight will be another sleepless night. Cant someone just build a time machine for me? Obviously I am not being serious right now and I don't want anyone to feel bad or sorry for me because I did this to myself but I really cant cope.
Satu Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Thank you everyone for sharing your opinions. Guess tonight will be another sleepless night. Cant someone just build a time machine for me? Obviously I am not being serious right now and I don't want anyone to feel bad or sorry for me because I did this to myself but I really cant cope. If you really do want someone to tell you what to do, I will. Part company with both of these males, and accept the lesson that your behaviour has brought to you. Why? Because not one of the people in that triangle loves anybody else in the triangle. You don't love either of these men, and neither of them love you. Get yourself through college, and try not to paint yourself into a corner again. 4
Jimmyjackson Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 If you really do want someone to tell you what to do, I will. Part company with both of these males, and accept the lesson that your behaviour has brought to you. Why? Because not one of the people in that triangle loves anybody else in the triangle. You don't love either of these men, and neither of them love you. Get yourself through college, and try not to paint yourself into a corner again. I concur, clean slate. 1
Marco Valerio Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) excuse me but why are you being rude to me? Are you a perfect person? Did you never make a mistake in your life before? If so then yea go ahead and judge me. I came here for help and advice not to get called a selfish slut. And you don't know the entire story. My boyfriend cheated in the beginning of this year, that was the reason why I even signed up to this forum. So please don't act as if you know everything about my relationship and my life. Sorry if you find it rude, but I am not being rude, I'm telling you facts, you are a very selfish girl. BTW I've never said you were a slut, that's your own yield!!! Of course I've done mistakes in my past, but I would never cheat on someone, cheating is far too low, it's the last thing you expect from your loving partner. He cheated on you? and? have you heard about "two wrongs don't make a right" What you are trying to do is looking for a validation of your acts, but you can never find validation for being a bad person to someone else!!! Please reconsider your intentions in life !!! Edited January 5, 2015 by Marco Valerio
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 Sorry if you find it rude, but I am not being rude, I'm telling you facts, you are a very selfish girl. BTW I've never said you were a slut, that's your own yield!!! Of course I've done mistakes in my past, but I would never cheat on someone, cheating is far too low, it's the last thing you expect from your loving partner. He cheated on you? and? have you heard about "two wrongs don't make a right" What you are trying to do is looking for a validation of your acts, but you can never find validation for being a bad person to someone else!!! Please reconsider your intentions in life !!! I am not a bad person. I never thought I'd do something like this because I am a good person with a kind and loving heart. I always put his needs before mine and I sacrificed a lot for him. And to say that cheating makes me a bad person is wrong because it affects me too. I spent plenty of nights crying because I was disgusted with myself for what I did. I'm sure some ppl cheat and don't give a **** about it but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself because I am a good person.
hoping2heal Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I obviously ****ed up, yes, trust me, I know that and I regret it. But your comment isn't helping. I need to make a decision within the next few days to either drop out of college and get on a plane to see him or to let him go and keep seeing the other guy… I feel really lost right now I'm sorry but do you think that dropping out of college for your relationship is a wise decision? I will go so far as to say if a man loves you he cares about your best interest, he wouldn't want you to go blowing your education at this point.
Zahara Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) I am not a bad person. I never thought I'd do something like this because I am a good person with a kind and loving heart. I always put his needs before mine and I sacrificed a lot for him. And to say that cheating makes me a bad person is wrong because it affects me too. I spent plenty of nights crying because I was disgusted with myself for what I did. I'm sure some ppl cheat and don't give a **** about it but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself because I am a good person. Spending nights crying and feeling disgusted with yourself, yet waking up everyday and continuing to cheat doesn't change the fact that whether kind or loving at heart, your behavior is wrong. You have a few threads about your FWB, just going on about him and his intentions, posted in the dating section, yet you never gave anyone any insight to you cheating on someone when you created those threads. Now, suddenly you are all in tears and disgusted because he found out. You can play the victim all you want but at the end of the day it is all about choices. You CHOSE to cheat. If your boyfriend cheated, you should have left. By not leaving you sent a message that you tolerate, accept and forgive his cheating. You don't then go out and cheat, and blame your actions on him or use the excuse that just because he did it, it justifies you doing it. It doesn't work that way. You live by your own moral compass and your own principles. These two guys aren't who you're supposed to be with. Between choosing the lesser of these two idiots, what you should do is let go and focus on your education. It will garner you a better return for the future. Edited January 5, 2015 by Zahara 4
Ducktape Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I am a good person with a kind and loving heart. I always put his needs before mine and I sacrificed a lot for him. Besides all the times you cheated on him, right? I aspire to find someone that will be able to love me just like you loved your boyfriend, seems like a real fairytale yes.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 I am not a bad person. I never thought I'd do something like this because I am a good person with a kind and loving heart. I always put his needs before mine and I sacrificed a lot for him. And to say that cheating makes me a bad person is wrong because it affects me too. I spent plenty of nights crying because I was disgusted with myself for what I did. I'm sure some ppl cheat and don't give a **** about it but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself because I am a good person. Yes...cheating repeatedly DOES, in fact, make you a bad person. You can feel bad and whatever and everyone makes mistakes yada yada, but you continued to do it. Your BF has incredibly low self esteem if he still wants you back after what you did. Not saying he is perfect either. I have no horse in the race, so I tell you that you that neither guy really loves you, and you are only afraid to lose both of them. You need to back away and go to college. Try your best to forget about the situation and realize every action has a consequence. 1
sober and dry Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) Cheerbabe93 I cannot bellive in my eyes when I read this thread... So you played the cheating game with your "supposed" bf and now you don't know what to do? I would expect you to clearly know what you want in the middle of all that cheating!... You and your "supposed" bf have clearly a low self respect and no respect at all between you two nor any respect for your own by the way IMO. My advice, I see 2 options, keep all the guys as FWB (including your "supposed bf) and keep doing what you have been doing all this time and don't regret or learn anything, but at least do one good thing for yourself and keep studying. Or Get away from all the guys at once, start learning more about yourself like, do I just want FWB and all that stuff or if you want something more from a relationship like real love and start to really learn what it's, and obviously keep studying at the same. One thing in here is for cearten IMO, your supposed bf is not the one, that's for sure, I don't know if he was somewhere in time, but now he's not. But in any of the cases, at least, start by learning some self love. Sorry this seems so harsh but that's the reality. Edited January 5, 2015 by sober and dry
Nolan 93 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 look Im not going to bash on you....but your bf is in the military and he cheat on you. It's common for him to cheat since he is far away, so far you will never know what happens, and same for you he will never know if you cheated on him. But he knows and you know, so honestly if someone I loved cheats on me sexually then I'm sorry it's over. Think about your long term goals with this guy, having a family, kids, retirement. Then he keeps on cheating when your down that road, once a cheater always a cheater. Don't quit school, in today's world education is the key to having a decent life. If he loved you he wouldn't make you drop out of school. He would say "look you cheated on me, I want to talk to you in person so bad. But you have to finish school and I won't let you drop out just to come see me." Something like that which shows he cares for whats best for you. But then he is contradicting himself since he cheated on you. It's your life, everyone here has given you their opinion on how you should act. So in the end you and only can make yourself happy.
Invictus01 Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Whatever you decide to do here is up to you, but whatever it is, do NOT drop out of school. You have a whole lot of life in front of you to make these kind of mistakes. 1
Light Breeze Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 Frankly, I don't see any Love, Respect, and Unselfishness in this story. All of you should just go your seperate ways. 1
Marco Valerio Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) I am not a bad person. I never thought I'd do something like this because I am a good person with a kind and loving heart. I always put his needs before mine and I sacrificed a lot for him. And to say that cheating makes me a bad person is wrong because it affects me too. I spent plenty of nights crying because I was disgusted with myself for what I did. I'm sure some ppl cheat and don't give a **** about it but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself because I am a good person. I could understand you if you regreted cheating on your boyfriend once, but come on, you continued and continue cheating...that's not regretting !!!! Your quote "I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years but last month I met someone else and I started having sex with him. I didn't tell my boyfriend out of fear but I spent many nights staying up crying because I regret what I had done. However I continued having sex with the other guy and I started to kinda like him. " It will be like if I said - You wouldn't belive how I regret stealing pens at my office every single day. When you regret doing something is because you are aware of its wrongness, so you would have in mind not repeating it again. Right? I'm trying to understand your points, I promise, but you can not excuse yourself for doing wrong. Edited January 5, 2015 by Marco Valerio 1
samaraa Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) Cheerbabe: you're 21-ish right? You're young and making some poor decisions. I've made poor decisions and still do--It happens. Life is a learning experience. Be realistic about your actions and their consequences. Think about what you actually want from your life, and the kind of person you want to be. Both guys seem like bad news. You should stay in school. Long-distance guy seems like a manipulative liar. He left you for someone else before? I'd tell him it's over and cut him off for good. Cheating is sh*tty, so yes you did something sh*tty. That guy did something sh*tty too. Rather than dwelling on denials or justifications, be realistic about your decisions and try to learn from them. Realistically face how other people treat you. Avoid repeating behaviors or spending time with people that are unhealthy and destructive. You mention you'd put a man's needs before yours, sacrificed a lot for him. DON'T. Choose you--and I don't mean do whatever you want at the expense of other people's feelings--I mean take care of yourself and nurture yourself. Focus on doing well at school. On your future, your integrity, and your well-being. I recommend seeking support from friends and family. Particularly if you cut the guys off--which I think you should. You'll need support and to spend time with people who care about you. Not people who manipulate you, lie to you, use you for sex or anything else. Unfortunately there are people like that in the world, so it's best to take your time getting to know others, consider their motivations, and protect yourself before getting invested. Edited January 6, 2015 by samaraa
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Thank you everyone for the answers. My "ex boyfriend" texted me and said it's over but that he wants to stay friends well funny thing happened cause a few days later I found out he had unfriended and blocked me on every social media accounts we have. I'm doing really good though. The relationship wasn't healthy at all
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