blondemoment Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Dating is not something I have really ever done, I got married to my HS bf right after I turned 18 and we just divorced this past year. I got involved straight away with someone when me and my xh split up (that went poorly) so now I'm trying the dating scene. All that said, I have no idea what is normal in terms of dating so I need some feedback. I met this guy off of tinder, we had one date and then nothing for a couple months (we texted on and off but didn't set up a 2nd date) back in late October he struck up more regular contact and we started dating regularly in early November. Fast forward a little and we had the exclusive talk once sex was on the table. So now we are exclusive, sleeping together, texting daily, and seeing each other once a week. After we had the talk and slept together the first time he got super chatty and sweet (this was the week before xmas) then between Christmas and NY he got to be less talkative, we still text daily but the conversation doesn't flow for as long, and we spent all NY day together but I just feel like things have died off a little. Is this normal? As we have not titled our thing (i.e. he is not my bf but I'm not pursuing anything with anyone else and according to him neither is he) I am trying to not be assumptive of his time and energy but at the same time I like more attention than I am getting. I don't want him to feel smothered and run away either though, one of the first things we established talking was that both of us appreciate having our respective downtime where we don't have to do anything, I guess he likes more downtime than I do.
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 So you have been dating regularly for about 3 months. You've had the exclusivity talk, you were intimate, there is no need for him to be in 'chase mode' anymore, he's more relaxed, it's official you have each other, it's normal it's settling down. Another thing is when you pursue someone and finally sex happens you may experience a drop of interest if sex is not what you expected. Or, sometimes after you are intimate with someone you realize you don't really want long term with them. It's nothing he has control over. If his drop of interest is related to sex then your gut feeling would indicate so. What is your little voice telling you?
PegNosePete Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 I just feel like things have died off a little. ... I like more attention than I am getting. What did he say when you talked to him about this? You did talk to him about it, right? Or are you expecting him to know how you feel by some kind of telepathy?
Jules Dash Posted January 6, 2015 Posted January 6, 2015 Relationships will have periods with a lot of fire and periods when then are a bit more relaxed and lukewarm. I wouldn't shake things up too much when it happens. Give time for things to develop. Sometimes we can be too quick to jump the gun and become very sensitive to even the most minor changes and allow them to grow in our head. Many will say "run now! This is a red flag..." but then you never learn to make things work.
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