Would you spoon, snuggle up and fall asleep with someone in the friends zone?

[Striker_10]

I am going to sound so stupid. Normally I know but I must like this girl a lot as I don't know what or how to to make the first move when she is around.

 

So. I met this girl 4 weeks ago at a salsa dance class. We got on well and I saw her a few times since. She is a very guarded person and her past boyfriends are players so had difficulties trusting men.

 

Most of my friends are female so I am used to linking arms and falling asleep in the same bed with them. With this girl, the most I do is link arms and not much.

 

She is in a place where because of her past bf, she is not ready for a relationship but seems to want one. Our common friends told me that she kind of likes this guy who she met before we knew each other but he got a gf and he is playing her.

 

Yesterday we went to this salsa dance event. There was supposed to be me, her and two others (but they met other people so ) when we got back to the hotel room it was just me and her. We cuddled up and fell asleep. Next morning, she wanted to cuddle / spoon / fall asleep on my chest with her arms around and I just held her hand ( like I did with my ex gd) and she kept extending the time by 5 mins until we had to check out (for an hour or so in the morning) and until I walked her to the bus we were holding hands all the way among the hotel crowd (well I grabbed her hands and she was fine).

 

I like her a lot and for some reason I am waiting too long to ask her out (this does not happen to me at all). I got a feeling that she is not ready for a relationship so that could be one thing. I know she does like bad boys and I have been one of the nicer guys (according to friends).

 

Now that we are back home, she is playing kind of cool (but still responsive to me about meeting up next week).

 

My question - would you hold hands, fall asleep and cuddle/spoon with someone you met about 3 weeks only as friends? I will get some courage to ask her out but I am worried that I might fail to read or mis-read the signs.

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Dude, grow a pair. Don't ask her out just kiss her. If she's not into it then she's a tease and you need to cut off contact. If she is, well then congratulations.

 

Either way, a kiss lets you know where you stand.

[Gloria25]

NO,

 

Not NO, but heck NO!!!

 

Not gonna let someone use me as their full-sized teddy bear/cuddle buddy.

 

I don't get why/how some women do this. They get emotional satisfaction out of males (that doesn't necessarily involve sex), then pull the "I just wanna be friends" move.

 

So, the guy turns into her emotional tampon until she meets the guy who's bold enough to stick his tongue down her throat and/or to tell her to "get bent" if she tries to turn him into her puppy.

[toscaroscura]

I can't wrap my head around people who do this either, if she indeed is only his friend. I can't even imagine being so intimately close to someone without being romantically interested in them, but I suppose others are different.

 

As far as real advice goes, stop talking to "friends" and get the story straight from her (as in, make your interest clearly known and let her respond one way or the other). For all you know, these friends could be inadvertently feeding you bull and making you miss an opportunity.

[d0nnivain]

Maybe. Some people just like to cuddle.

 

 

That said, I don't think THIS GIRL is in that category. Ask her on a date. Remind her that a few dates is not a full blown relationship & you are willing to take things slow

[TigerLilly78]

No but it is a fabulous way to open yourself up to misunderstandings hurt feelings unwanted sexual advances and possibialy even sexual assault charges other then that its a great idea um NO boundaries are healthy and there for a reason generality..

[elaine567]

If you want to stay in the friendzone then stay in the friend zone but if you want to be a bf, then you have to act like a bf.

Ask her out, kiss her, whatever presents itself, and if she rejects you out of hand then so be it, you then know where you are at, and you can move on.