musicalsteve82 Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Let's get to the bottom of this. Does it?
CarrieT Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Worked for me. But it was work! I had 200-300 convos and 50+ "first dates". And at 50 years of age, I just celebrated my one year wedding anniversary. 3
Rydo Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Let's get to the bottom of this. Does it? It really depends, it works for a lot and doesn't work for others. At the end of the day the problem with dating of any type is that there are humans involved.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Oh come on. There are a thousand threads on this already. For some people, it HAS worked and they're happily in relationships with guys or women they met online. For some people, for whatever reason, it hasn't worked. But I think it's pretty clear by now that for many people, yes, it works. Do you really need to start a whole new thread about this?
Toodaloo Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I have read reports that 1 in 5 relationships start through on line dating sites... My best friend found her husband through on line dating so she is obviously a big fan. For me though? Nah. Better things to do with my time. My advice is try it but follow the advice given in the hundreds of threads about how to write your profile and send messages etc to ensure that you give it your best shot. While trying in don't write off having a life, doing the things you enjoy and meeting people in real life.
Author musicalsteve82 Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 Ok, fair enough, better question: why hasn't it worked for those it didn't work for?"
Rydo Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Ok, fair enough, better question: why hasn't it worked for those it didn't work for?" They have unrealistic expectations. They aren't very good at dating. They get easily annoyed by rejection. They think women owe them a reply and get annoyed when they don't get it. Those reasons and probably a lot more. At the end of they day dating is about attraction, less attractive people will have a harder time with any kind of dating but they are more likely to find a match by expanding their options. 2
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Ok, fair enough, better question: why hasn't it worked for those it didn't work for?" ^^^What he said. People tend to be very unrealistic when it comes to online dating. They build up these expectations for prince charming or the woman of their dreams. They also have difficulty recognizing themselves and what THEY bring to the table. I had success with online dating. We made a year in November and have been happily living together since June. Based on my background, I was very lucky to find my "perfect" guy. But I know it only happened because I became honest with myself.
Erised Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 It's an avenue towards meeting people. It works just as well as any avenue for meeting people. There will be some luck, and there is some degree of getting out what you put in. That's how it is. 1
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I only use it as a supplement. Send some messages once a week when I'm at home. I much prefer meeting people in real life. Plus I feel like I have more market value in the real world.
coolheadal Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Back in the day a lot of people where doing the online dating way. Today much more than those days. But like I said to protect yourself you do need to get on the phone and talk to them. Communication beyond the PC type text, Cell type text. Need to get off that and talk live on land-line or cell phone real voice. Got to know that the person you typing too all this time is who they say their are. I had posted some red flags to watch out for here on LS while back. Plus now you have to watch out for these traits in their mental behavior attitude like psychopathy, antisocial, social anxiety, and social phobia. I am not saying everyone going to be like this but there are many out there with traumatized childhoods problems that haven't gone away not even at the adult stages of life. I try to do my best to be honest and tell them all about myself. But some are not like me and then later on in the relationship you find our what they have been hiding from you, because you might tell them to leave or get out! Online world can bring out the worse and the good in people. So just be prepared. No different than if your step outside your apartment, flat, pad, or house. Every individual has some sort of past. They might not tell you up front or they just might not even tell you. What I've notice too there are so many that can't tell you they love you, or they can't love at all. They can like you and feel that's good enough for them it should be good enough for you. Some can't even hold your hand and there is some that don't like to be touched or cuddled. But like I said if you get lucky and find someone online you hit it off with and it works out for years. Then you know you did your homework right. If not then you know what that means then.
spanishchick00 Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I gave up on OLD, the majority of the guys just wasted by time, told me first date lies about how they are "going to contact me" after the first date, and never did. Some have multiple dating accounts, some will NEVER settle for less-which is obvious-I've seen guys on OLD that have been there for like 4 straight years. Some claim they are looking for a relationship when they are just wanting to hook up. Alot of times there is just no physical attraction/chemistry in person. For me it hasn't worked and it never will. I'm done with going on "50" first dates, having to talk about myself -the basic introductions over and over again.
Rydo Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I gave up on OLD, the majority of the guys just wasted by time, told me first date lies about how they are "going to contact me" after the first date, and never did. Some have multiple dating accounts, some will NEVER settle for less-which is obvious-I've seen guys on OLD that have been there for like 4 straight years. Some claim they are looking for a relationship when they are just wanting to hook up. Alot of times there is just no physical attraction/chemistry in person. For me it hasn't worked and it never will. I'm done with going on "50" first dates, having to talk about myself -the basic introductions over and over again. You make it sound like a chore. Dates are supposed to be fun. I would gladly go on a first date every night. 1
writergal Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 (edited) 50 First Dates is a better movie than real life experience for me at least. I mean, in the movie, the main character has amnesia and can't remember anything past her first date with the same person. Well, after all the first dates I'd gone on, I started to wonder if those men had amnesia too, because they all said they had a great time and would call me, but never did. Let's not forget the guys who want a digital pen pal, and will never meet the women they chat with via OLD in person for whatever reason: they're in jail, already married, in a long term relationship, gay but haven't come out of the closet yet and pretend their straight, women pretending to be men to do market research on their competition, men who have severe anxiety and never leave their house, the list of excuses to never meet in person is endless. Or the Romeos. The men who come on strong and blow up your cellphone with daily calls and texts. Yet when you try to get them to pin down a day / time to meet you for a first date it never happens. Or you get them to agree to a day / time but then the day / time comes and they mysteriously develop the Ebola virus and instead of calling you to apologize to reschedule, the Ebola virus has taken over their vocal chords so all they can do is use their mangled fingers to text you "I'm so sorry but I can't meet you today. Ebola virus got me." Or the liars. Men who lie about their profession, their relationship status, their physical appearance, their income, their values, etc. You meet them in person and they aren't who they said they were. Pffft. After what I've been through off and on with online dating, I will never do it again. If I don't meet men in person to date, I'll gladly order the crazy cat lady starter kit and spend my money on cats then men. Edited January 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator URL contained ads.
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I was only on 1 site & only for 90 days. It didn't work for me because I didn't click with the men I met. They were all nice quality guys who I would not have otherwise met so on some level it worked but it didn't lead to happily every after for me. Ironically while I was on 1 site my husband was on another one.
Erised Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 You make it sound like a chore. Dates are supposed to be fun. I would gladly go on a first date every night. You must like people more than I do. Dating is kind of a chore. Some of the people you meet merely make it worth it. I've met great people even if a relationship didn't work out.
welshbambi Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 It's worked for me to varying degrees, and I wouldn't rule it out. But this time around it just seems very empty and indeed a chore so I'm just coming off it for now and see what else I can turn up. I've joined Meet Up to try and meet more female friends rather than guys. I think my time would be better spent doing group activities based on my interests with friends rather than "hunting" which is what it's started to feel like I'm doing. My advice would be to be as frank and honest as you can. If you don't like the sound or look of someone, just say and if you need to block them then so be it. I agree that there do seem to be a lot of guys who think they are owed something just because they messaged. I've messaged guys too who didn't respond but I didn't give them grief for not replying. They didn't like the look/sound of me, I moved on.
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