Interracial relationships bring out the racism in society (long)

[Topaze]

I would NEVER rule out a man based on race. PERIOD. It's the individual that counts. I was just relating some of my experiences since people on here have seen fit to rip Black women apart in thread after thread and say that we are ugly and have big butts, I saw no reason to hold back.

[Topaze]

pseud....I agree with everything that you have said.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by Topaze

I would NEVER rule out a man based on race. PERIOD. It's the individual that counts. I was just relating some of my experiences since people on here have seen fit to rip Black women apart in thread after thread and say that we are ugly and have big butts, I saw no reason to hold back.

 

What??? Where was this you guys? Who was saying black women are ugly with big butts? Damn, man. I have a big butt. ANyways, Topaze can't see this (cause I'm on blooooooock)

 

But personally I feel like this little post revealed exactly what her agenda is on this board. She has personal issues that she is putting off on other people. They won't date me because I'm black blah blah blah.

 

When in reality it just sounds like she is insecure and defensive, and hell, who WOULD want to date someone like that?

[Donut]

I live in England myself, I know of many guys of all ages going out to Thailand for the sex. They come back telling anyone who'll listen about how great it is and make several trips to go back for it.

 

It really sickens me.

[Pocky]

I didn't click on the links - I'm at work. And I'm not going get into debating the racial discrimination within dating (I've made my opinion clear in other posts), but I was wondering if anyone understands some factors that have contributed to the stereotype of Asian women? Are you aware of the impact that the role of the Geisha had on Japan during a time when women were trying to assert their position in life? Are you aware of the Korean women that Japan duped into being comfort women for the soldiers during the war? Are you aware that in China, small villages located far from major cities, they still consider a girl child insignificant and will hire a type of midwife to break the neck of the child when it's born? Yes, it's still happening.

 

You wonder why white men have this stereotype of Asian women? It's because the governments in control of these countries have fashioned the opinion that women are expendable.

 

White men certainly aren't helping to dissolve this view of Asian women, but they're not to blame for this stereotype.

[tokyo]

Well, wasn't it American soldiers during the war in Corea who started visiting prostitutes in Thailand, thus turning it into the big business that it is today?

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by kooky

Well, wasn't it American soldiers during the war in Corea who started visiting prostitutes in Thailand, thus turning it into the big business that it is today?

 

Korea.

 

And no, most of them were too busy dying or freezing to death to visit prostitutes, since, if you'll recall, we LOST that war.

 

I am so nauseously sick and tired of the ignonorant opinions about asian women. That are propogated not only by the men who indulge in the sex industry, but by the other people who aren't involved, men and women, who like to give their commentary about it. I've had men tell me that I had a "slanted p*ssy", whatever.

 

The societies in question consider women to be expendible. Families sell girl children into the sex industry for money. They live in THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, people. You know. People die of typhoid fever over there, still. Prenatal care in nearly non-existent. Even in China, which is relatively developed, has a method of getting rid of girl babies that involves placing them in locked closets, in incubators, and starving the newborns to death.

 

Personally, I think most women are intimidated. My Mom is strikingly beautiful, fearfully intelligent, physically strong, has endurance and has endured harships I can't even imagine. She is in a better place and a better situation than she would be in Vietnam. She was smart to come to the states.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Korea.

 

And no, most of them were too busy dying or freezing to death to visit prostitutes, since, if you'll recall, we LOST that war.

 

I am so nauseously sick and tired of the ignonorant opinions about asian women. That are propogated not only by the men who indulge in the sex industry, but by the other people who aren't involved, men and women, who like to give their commentary about it. I've had men tell me that I had a "slanted p*ssy", whatever.

 

The societies in question consider women to be expendible. Families sell girl children into the sex industry for money. They live in THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, people. You know. People die of typhoid fever over there, still. Prenatal care in nearly non-existent. Even in China, which is relatively developed, has a method of getting rid of girl babies that involves placing them in locked closets, in incubators, and starving the newborns to death.

 

Personally, I think most women are intimidated. My Mom is strikingly beautiful, fearfully intelligent, physically strong, has endurance and has endured harships I can't even imagine. She is in a better place and a better situation than she would be in Vietnam. She was smart to come to the states.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by kooky

 

[Moderator Note: Posting commercial links is against the guidelines]

 

Westerners propogate this themselves. It disgusts me. And as far as I can tell, in the article it discusses the military presence in the asian subcontinent since the 1950s. It discusses Japan, Korea, Vietnam, the Phillipines....WWII, last time I checked, happened before the Korean Conflict. This is an industry created by the American military.

 

In addition, sexual relations between American men and Asian prostitutes have created a living legacy of mixed-raced children who are rejected by both their mother's and father's societies.

-- This is me. I can't even visit my mother's homeland.

[tokyo]

Blind Otter, I'm a bit confused now. My point was, it's not only on the socities in the Asian to blame that Asian women are considered to be easy to have. It's one hand part of the myths about exotic countries, where women are nicer, more beautiful, but on the other hand, the sex industry there is partially to blame on the presence American soldiers. I brought the Korean conflict as an example. I don't know the exact reason why prostitution escalated to this extent in Thailand, but without the American soldiers it would not have become what it is today.

[tokyo]

I made a huge mistake. It was not the Korea war, but the Vietnam war.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by kooky

I made a huge mistake. It was not the Korea war, but the Vietnam war.

 

Uh oh...I am in fact one of the "children of the dust" (as they are called in Vietnam) -- mixed vietnamese and american. Vietnam is a sh*thole, to be honest. It was ravaged by French imperialism long before Americans ever set foot inside the Vietnamese borders. Vietnamese were treated like dogs, forced into labor camps that had no access to clean drinking water. Racism against the asians in the southeast asian subcontinent from western imperialists began long before the 20th century.

 

In contrast, the Vietnamese people have always been fiercely independent and proud, with the ability to survive in a very inhospitable climate. How are a people supposed to survive when a war has ripped apart their homeland, and some other massive nation has decided to step in to stop the civil war (even though no one really asked them to)? How are they supposed to farm their land, and have food to eat, clothes to wear, etc, when all trade has ground to a standstill and people can't even use the roadways, when you wake up at night in Saigon and bombs are rocking the ground beneath the straw mat you sleep on, and you have to spend the rest of the night in a bomb shelter?

 

You prostitute yourself and your daughters. You sell illegal narcotics and pot to the soldiers. You profit from a black market economy. Gangs were rampant in that country at that time. According to stories I grew up hearing, you survived by sticking with what you knew, and you stole if you had to, to eat.

 

So...in many ways I do believe that was the birth of the sex *industry* and capitalism and the poverty of those third world countries has made the prostitution industry flourish, in an unregulated manner. But where does the attitude come from, the attitude that allows human beings to treat other human beings like animals, just because they look different or have a different culture?

[tokyo]

Originally posted by blind_otter

But where does the attitude come from, the attitude that allows human beings to treat other human beings like animals, just because they look different or have a different culture?

That's part of being human.... By the way I didn't say that I did not understand why women start prostituting themselves, I just don't think this sex business there is only due to the governments believing that women are expendable as Pocky said before. It's about the money that white men have and the extreme poverty that people suffer. It would be great if we could blame it on the patriarchal structures there and the low status of women, but it's the demand of the sex tourists that drives people to chose prostitution as a solution out of their poverty. Sex business flourishes because of white men wanting exotic women.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by Fatal Femme

On the other hand, Black women are generally considered unattractive by White men. They are dismissed as being large and heavily built, with dirty-looking skin and coarse hair texture, and hence unfeminine.

 

I'm a black woman that dates and is very interested in white men. I usually don't read topics that discuss interracial relationships especially if it's negative. I truthfully don't elaborate on what others that don't approve of interracial relationships think but some reason I decided to click on this thread just curious to see what was discussed about this topic. I really didn't read the whole post just went down the page to see if it stated anything about black women and white men dating interracially. As you can see clearly I quoted a part in the original post because it kinda made me very upset and offended me. Many here may agree with your ignorant comment towards what you think ALL WHITE MEN think of black women but it's so untrue in many ways. First, not ALL BLACK WOMEN are unattractive, large, have bad skin, not feminine, yes we have coarse hair and I thank God everyday that he blessed me with coarse beautiful long hair. I let my current boyfriend whose white read that quote and he just shake his head because not all white men think that about black women.

 

Secondly, I wanted to point out your so-called black women/white men isn't very common in relationships or marriages. It may not be common where your from or live but it's more common now than ever. Here's some information from an interracial website that I visit:

 

"Almost anywhere you go these days, you will encounter mixed-race couples: at the grocery store, the mall, the theater, at a company function, at: a concert, even at church. And while for years the Black man-White woman couple was more prevalent, today many social observers say that the pairing of Black women and White men is just as common."

 

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_1_55/ai_57046411

 

The website information is kinda long but it mostly talks about black women and white men interracial relationships increasing. You may reply with well you don't see tons of white men with black women which I agree but the way you put your so-called I know this for a fact information that there's no black women/white men in the world that date interracially which is very untrue.

 

I've talked to many white males that are interested in black women and they say that the reason that they prefer black women over white women/other races because we're strong, attractive physically/sexually and other things. This again came from white men that I've talked to and I've also read this on many interracial websites.

 

I really wanted to post this for all black women who are or who are not in interracial relationships due to those offensive comments.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by Topaze

Unfortunately, I have found that most White men wouldn't even consider dating a Black woman. As Fatal Femme pointed out, they tend to really buy into the media stereotypes. If you aren't in your twenties, arent's skinny, don't have big tits, and egads don't have long blonde hair....forget it, they ain't interested. So, as Black women, we don't usually have a crack at the "cream of the crop among White men. Far too many of those who are willing to date Black women are all too often (not in all case but all too often) losers that no WHITE woman would want. So you have to put up with:

 

- men who are into kinky S & M sex and contact Black women on-line because they buy into the stereotypes of Black women being strong and want to engage in some perversion

- men who hit on Black women for sex during the first few days as they have been watching too many rap videos

- men who have a HOST of problems including depression, bi-polar disorders, panic attacks, anger management issues, alchohol problems (if I go on another date and the man tells me he is a recovering alchoholic I will scream)

- men who have fallen on hard times such as being laid off - no White woman wants them so they'll try Black

- gentlemanly manners - "Shat's that? Where can I find another beer?"

- FEELINGS and EMOTIONS - what's that?

 

Again I stress, this is not in all cases but it's a trend and it's disturbing. It's as if some White men will only move beyond the media stereotypes if they have no other options.

 

I agree and disagree with some of your opinions. As I said in another post black women/white men relationships are common now and there are many white men that date and marry black women. If you searh on the internet at the many black women/white men interracial dating websites you'll clearly see that they are interested in us. I've heard and read that it's black women that aren't into dating white men so that's why also it isn't overly common like black men/white women. Out of all the white men I've dated/been with none them were losers, had no problems as you listed above, didn't date me just of sex and none of them had problems with my curvy body so not all white men are like you descibe. If a black women is interested in dating white men they have to look in the right places as I did to find the one that fits what you want. I've dated many because I'm picky and young but the white man that I'm with now is going to be the man that I'm going to marry.

[HokeyReligions]

So what then? We should date people we don't find particularly attractive as a statement against racism?

 

This is okay: "I'm not racist, but I'm going to go to Asian churches and look for a guy there. That's not racist because I'll consider other races as date material based on the individual"

 

This is not okay: "I'm not racist but I don't find the typical physical characteristics of a black woman attractive so I'm not going to deliberately look for black dates, but I'll consider it based on the individual"

 

Looking for attributes that are typically associated with a race is OK, but dismissing attributes that are typically associated with a race is not? Both are exclusionary, are they not?

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

So what then? We should date people we don't find particularly attractive as a statement against racism?

 

This is okay: "I'm not racist, but I'm going to go to Asian churches and look for a guy there. That's not racist because I'll consider other races as date material based on the individual"

 

This is not okay: "I'm not racist but I don't find the typical physical characteristics of a black woman attractive so I'm not going to deliberately look for black dates, but I'll consider it based on the individual"

 

Looking for attributes that are typically associated with a race is OK, but dismissing attributes that are typically associated with a race is not? Both are exclusionary, are they not?

 

I'm not sure who you're referring to in your post but I haven't seen anyone here calling someone racist just because they're not attracted to a certain race so I'm sure that it's post here for someone else since you didn't quote anyone. I stated to the person I quoted that there are white men that find black women attractive because some of the white men here seem that it's so impossble for a white man to find a black woman attractive in any way.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by pretty1982

I really didn't read the whole post just went down the page to see if it stated anything about black women and white men dating interracially. As you can see clearly I quoted a part in the original post because it kinda made me very upset and offended me.

You know, maybe you should read the whole post before jumping to any conclusions about the original poster and her intentions. It doesn't make a lot of sense to throw in one's two cent without really understanding what the discussion is about.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by kooky

That's part of being human.... By the way I didn't say that I did not understand why women start prostituting themselves, I just don't think this sex business there is only due to the governments believing that women are expendable as Pocky said before. It's about the money that white men have and the extreme poverty that people suffer. It would be great if we could blame it on the patriarchal structures there and the low status of women, but it's the demand of the sex tourists that drives people to chose prostitution as a solution out of their poverty. Sex business flourishes because of white men wanting exotic women.

 

Have you studied the history of women in Asian countries such as Japan, China, Korea and Thailand? My point, since it's not represented as I stated, is that it is not the white man that originally helped to create the stereotype of women in Asia. While white men certainly do nothing to dissolve that stereotype and some certainly do take advantage of the economic status of women in Asian countries, it was not the white man that controlled their status and put them in a subservient position.

 

 

The sex business flourishes because of many factors - not just white men. It is quite misleading to place all responsibility on a single racial gender.

[Topaze]

Pretty I wanted to send you this by private message I couldn't figure out how to do it. Please send me a private message with some of those interracial sites.

 

Thank you.

 

BTW, interracial relationships and marriages do take place. I have dated White men myself. I do find though that the overwhelming majority of White men that I meet simply don't find Black women attractive.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by kooky

You know, maybe you should read the whole post before jumping to any conclusions about the original poster and her intentions. It doesn't make a lot of sense to throw in one's two cent without really understanding what the discussion is about.

 

If you could go back, re-read my post and you'll understand why I didn't read the whole post. I just wanted to elaborate on the comment she made about her so-called views on what most white men think of black women because the person was making it seem like we're so unattractive and no white man could ever date/marry us which is untrue.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by Pocky

Have you studied the history of women in Asian countries such as Japan, China, Korea and Thailand?

Not as extensively as you probably. Please enlighten me.

 

My point, since it's not represented as I stated, is that it is not the white man that originally helped to create the stereotype of women in Asia. While white men certainly do nothing to dissolve that stereotype and some certainly do take advantage of the economic status of women in Asian countries, it was not the white man that controlled their status and put them in a subservient position.

So, now it's the fault of the governments there that so many white men have these ideas of Asian women in their head?

 

The sex business flourishes because of many factors - not just white men. It is quite misleading to place all responsibility on a single racial gender.

Which factors?

[tokyo]

Originally posted by pretty1982

 

If you could go back, re-read my post and you'll understand why I didn't read the whole post. I just wanted to elaborate on the comment she made about her so-called views on what most white men think of black women because the person was making it seem like we're so unattractive and no white man could ever date/marry us which is untrue.

She talked about common stereotypes, not her personal belief, so you don't need to convince her that she's not right. And if you ask Topaze she will gladly tell you how much racism exists and how prejudiced white men are towards black women.

[moimeme]

So, now it's the fault of the governments there that so many white men have these ideas of Asian women in their head?

 

If the governments cracked down hard on that kind of trade, it would have to change. But they don't. If it hadn't been possible to go to those nations and avail yourself of the women, you wouldn't expect to be able to do so.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by moimeme

If the governments cracked down hard on that kind of trade, it would have to change. But they don't. If it hadn't been possible to go to those nations and avail yourself of the women, you wouldn't expect to be able to do so.

If pressure from the government was everything we needed then there probably wouldn't be any problems with drugs either.