dsprimal Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Hello everyone, So i'm going to break down the history of me and this girl i've been talking to. We matched off Tinder (I had already lost all hope trying to find anything WORTH WHILE on that app besides this girl....which is slowly becoming another disappointment). We matched back in July before summer ended. We started talking, showed strong interest, so I tried hooking in a date asap before she went back off to college for the year to see how we clicked in person. She's 21 i'm 27.....(don't judge!) I know a girl her age is just sprouting and just wants to have fun....no matter how "different" she may seem. She lives about 45 min from me when she's back home. So we didn't end up going on the date because she was stressing, packing for school, and how she didn't want to give a bad first impression. So I let it slide and we kept in contact via text ever since. Texts have been good, occasional flirting and sexual innuendoes. But its been hard to keep topics interesting over time since we never met in person yet. She came home on thanksgiving break and I brought up the idea of meeting up but we both agreed that the break was too short and it was time for family and friends etc....and that winter break a couple weeks later would be better. So now were currently in winter break. we planned on meeting this weekend but best to my luck its snowing. So she text's me saying "did you hear about the weather tomorrow? it's supposed to be ****ty" So now i'm ultimately thinking she's going to postpone the date again in which she just did asking "lets plan another time?" and now i'm here typing this massive post because I feel like i've already gone passed my patience limits and i'm on the verge of breaking the patient good guy vibe and being a total a**hole. Although the weather is going to be nasty I just feel like if there was as strong of an interest with her towards me as I do towards her then we would have met asap. I know her age is probably the biggest factor. She could be nervous, shy, COMFY WITH JUST TEXTING and nothing more. Idk why I involve myself with the younger youth because I feel like this social media era officially ruined the whole dating world. So my question is. Should I call her out on this BS and be honest with her by saying something along the lines of "idk, honestly this has been lingering on for months and we haven't yet been able to meet up yet. I'm down for going out but idk if you still are. so whenever YOU are ready. let me know." I havent put all my eggs in one basket by the way. I'm seeing others while still keeping contact with this girl. She seems really different and intelligent for her age, thats the only reason why I'm still giving her the light of day for so long.
fred123 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 you are 100 percent correct she ain into you so much. enjoys the text and attention. even if you called her out on it or say look we havent net in months do you actually like me or am i wasting my time? no women would respond to that truthfully. she will just say no she likes you but is busy, moving , packing, washing her hair etc. women will lie . no good will come out of it. find me one women who would be honest in this situation. i know none. dont talk to her. move on. delete her 1
BlueIris Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 dont talk to her. move on. delete her I agree. Since she’s at school far away, a real relationship isn’t really possible anyway. So I don’t understand why you’re pursuing her or get impatient or fed up. If I were in her shoes, I’d think you just want to get laid and I wouldn’t bother.
losangelena Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I feel like i've already gone passed my patience limits and i'm on the verge of breaking the patient good guy vibe and being a total a**hole. Are you actually a "patient, good guy," or are you an ******* who's only trying to act "nice" because you want to see what's going on with this girl? To me, a "good guy" wouldn't blame this girl's age on the fact that you haven't met up yet. A "good guy" would have tried to figure out a way to connect by now if he was really interested. How far away is she when she's at school? Still within decent driving distance? Could you visit her there? Have you ever spoken on the phone or is it just texting? To be honest, no offense, it doesn't sound like you're putting in much effort, either.
Jules Dash Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 The age difference is really is no big deal. She is a grown woman only six years younger than you. She could very likely be just as mature as you. As far as calling someone out on their BS, it is generally not a good idea. Most of the times it just comes back onto you. Also, you don't gain any points for calling them out on it. If you call her out on her BS, she will likely feel uncomfortable with you afterwards. Either walking away, backing off, or straight out ignoring a person is a much better alternative than calling them on their BS in most cases. This woman is really not that into you. She likes the attention you give her but that is pretty much it. It's just like that sometimes.
Author dsprimal Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 ok so since we got hit with a snow storm yesterday she decided to postpone the date we are supposed to have TODAY for thursday of next week. I asked her "are you free during the week?" and she said "After like thursday is good for me I think". I ignored that text and then she texted again at midnight before I fell asleep saying "Is the week ok for you?" and I still ignored that one. Idk what to do. I really like this girl but I hate feeling like i'm getting strung along for this date with no real reason. Should I continue ignoring or be direct and tell her how I feel? I just don't wanna say something along the lines of "Look....this date has been pushed off long enough. are we still actually going to meet or not???" because I don't want their to be any awkwardness or tension between us that might not even want her to come meet me at all.
Author dsprimal Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 Are you actually a "patient, good guy," or are you an ******* who's only trying to act "nice" because you want to see what's going on with this girl? To me, a "good guy" wouldn't blame this girl's age on the fact that you haven't met up yet. A "good guy" would have tried to figure out a way to connect by now if he was really interested. How far away is she when she's at school? Still within decent driving distance? Could you visit her there? Have you ever spoken on the phone or is it just texting? To be honest, no offense, it doesn't sound like you're putting in much effort, either. I would say i've been very patient with this girl. I've given her from summer time until now to go out once and everytime we plan something, something comes up. first time might have been too fast for her and she was truly "stressed" and w/e about packing and getting ready to move back to school. second time there wasnt enough time during thanksgiving break. third time is the weather and now its postponed for another week? I'm just sick of these gaps between rescheduling. Am I really not seeing anything wrong right now?
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