LittleTrout Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Hi everyone, I've been dating a girl for about 4 months. Sexual for about 2 and a half. She is divorced and has a child. The father is still in the picture for the child. About 2 months into the relationship, she told me her car was stolen. I've been helping her get around for a while now and have been helping her look for a new one. Well my friend is a detective. I mentioned to him to look into her stolen car report a few weeks ago because she hadn't heard anything about it. I thought maybe i'd be able to get a "no BS" answer at least that they've given up on it or whatever. Well it turns out it was never reported. In fact it was repoed. The dealership gave a courtesy call to the police department to report it before towing it to avoid any problems. I've casually brought up the car a few times before knowing this information and she hasn't told me the truth. She also has told me that she is officially legally divorced. But after the repo incident, i decided to look into it, and the state has no record of the divorce. She's still married in the eyes of the state. There's also a few things that i'm not 100% sure on, just gut feelings. She said she stripped for a week or 2 maybe 8-12 months ago. Well she showed me a picture of her stripper shoes one day and the phone had the date on it, which was mid September. These aren't shoes you'd casually wear going out. I'm not sure if she's still stripping, but it was definitely still going on at least when we had started dating. I definitely feeling a little betrayed. some of these are fairly big lies, and this is only what i know. I'm sure there are more. I really like this girl. A lot. I'm just not sure i can trust her now. I'm just looking to see what you guys think. Would you break it off? Try to confront her and see if she tells the truth? Thanks!
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 You would be comfortable telling a new girl in your life that your car got repossessed by bank? I don't think so. Four months into dating she does not have to tell you this much about her financial problems. The search for her divorce records: If you don't have her full name, or are misspelling her middle name, or if any of her info aren't entered the way the court entered it you will have no result. The stripping: Most cameras don't hold the right dates. About you talk to her instead of assuming. 1
Author LittleTrout Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Not on date one i wouldn't feel comfortable doing it no. But after months? and continuing to lie about it? I mean it sucks you can't make the car payment. I can get that. But to lie and just say it was stolen? And i do have her full name. I don't know how the court would have entered that stuff wrong?
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 After 4 months would not be long enough for me to give out financial information. You have to understand this is very embarrassing to her. I once dated a man who told me after 1 year he owed thousands in back-child support. It's just not the type of things that are easy to share. As for the court well lets see. You think you have her full name but do you have her full name as on her birth certificate or is she at all using her full name. I never tell my middle name, it does not show on anything, not my driver license and it does not even show up on my marriage certificate so if someone comes across my birth certificate and decides to search legal records with that they will have 0 result and they will think 'but I have her full name'.
WonderWoman911 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 She's definitely full of lies as you can see,with many more that you possibly don't even know about. You mentioned that she is divorced. While the two of you been together, has she ever spoke to her 'ex-husband' around you? Have you ever heard any of there conversations? I'm only asking because if she is divorced, her conversations with him, (child related I'm assuming), shouldn't be as if she's trying to be sneaky or not answering his phone calls. It should be normal ex-wife/ex-husband conversation. If she's being discrete about him,that would raise red flags for her still being married and trying to creep around with you. As far as the picture you saw, it doesn't necessarily mean she's still stripping. It could've been a picture of the shoes she took one day. But if it was a picture of her and her stripper friends in "their attire', then I would be skeptical. But with all of these lies she's telling you,you definitely won't be able to trust her about anything she says out of her mouth.This will lead to failure in the relationship. Telling lies about small things will lead to lies about huge things. Keep your eyes open and your mind clear and smart when dealing with this woman.
Author LittleTrout Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 After 4 months would not be long enough for me to give out financial information. You have to understand this is very embarrassing to her. I once dated a man who told me after 1 year he owed thousands in back-child support. It's just not the type of things that are easy to share. As for the court well lets see. You think you have her full name but do you have her full name as on her birth certificate or is she at all using her full name. I never tell my middle name, it does not show on anything, not my driver license and it does not even show up on my marriage certificate so if someone comes across my birth certificate and decides to search legal records with that they will have 0 result and they will think 'but I have her full name'. I haven't seen her birth certificate but i have seen drivers license and social security card. The middle name is negligible anyway because it's not required for a divorce verification. And you weren't pissed when he told you that? that he shouldn't have sooner? That could have serious impact. Anything over $5000 is a felony. Not to mention if you married him his debt is yours. I feel like that was a pretty important detail he left out and i'm surprised you were just ok with it because it's embarrassing.... She's definitely full of lies as you can see,with many more that you possibly don't even know about. You mentioned that she is divorced. While the two of you been together, has she ever spoke to her 'ex-husband' around you? Have you ever heard any of there conversations? I'm only asking because if she is divorced, her conversations with him, (child related I'm assuming), shouldn't be as if she's trying to be sneaky or not answering his phone calls. It should be normal ex-wife/ex-husband conversation. If she's being discrete about him,that would raise red flags for her still being married and trying to creep around with you. As far as the picture you saw, it doesn't necessarily mean she's still stripping. It could've been a picture of the shoes she took one day. But if it was a picture of her and her stripper friends in "their attire', then I would be skeptical. But with all of these lies she's telling you,you definitely won't be able to trust her about anything she says out of her mouth.This will lead to failure in the relationship. Telling lies about small things will lead to lies about huge things. Keep your eyes open and your mind clear and smart when dealing with this woman. Yes i have been around when they called. She hates him and they usually just scream at each other. I'm not worried about them getting back together. At least from what I've seen. It's just that she lied about it being official.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 And you weren't pissed when he told you that? that he shouldn't have sooner? That could have serious impact. Anything over $5000 is a felony. Not to mention if you married him his debt is yours. I feel like that was a pretty important detail he left out and i'm surprised you were just ok with it because it's embarrassing..... I was not just ok with it, I was quite shocked. Forget about 5K, he owed 56K and he had 30k left to pay. It explained why he was grabbing all over time coming his way and working a second job. I was not pleased with it but the positives in our relationship over weighted this irritant.
WonderWoman911 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Yes i have been around when they called. She hates him and they usually just scream at each other. I'm not worried about them getting back together. At least from what I've seen. It's just that she lied about it being official. Oh ok. Well besides that, just have a deep and honest conversation with her about any and everything you have doubts about. Tell her if there's anything you need to know or need to share, let it be spoke upon. No matter if it's big or small.And if she still consistently lie to you, I would stop dating her. 2 1/2 years you've known her, so she shouldn't have to put on a disguise about anything.Maybe the sexual relationship y'all have is the only best thing to keep,in order to avoid you feeling betrayed, used, etc.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 in my state even filed divorces are searchable.. so if the same is with your state then she has never filed for divorce or he has never filed let alone completed Honestly.. after the shear number of lies I would just go silent with her and move onto someone else, don't contact her anymore.. there seems to be a whole lot of drama either already in or getting ready to be in her life. 5
preraph Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 This girl is a pile of trouble. She has no problem lying about literally everything. You need to bail out immediately.
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