aggie382 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 (edited) Gullible because I did not ask him his last name? I don't give out my last name just like that. I got crazy stories to tell when I did. You were on 9 or 10 dates and were intimate with someone who you didn't know his last name??? Does he know yours? Edited January 3, 2015 by aggie382 3
fred123 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 getting stood up is not nice i know. but i would rather be stood up then be humiliated in front of myself 1
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 You were on 9 or 10 dates and were intimate with someone who you didn't know his last name??? Does he know yours? If you have read through the thread, she didn't in order to protect her identity just in case he turned out crazy. 1
aggie382 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 If you have read through the thread, she didn't in order to protect her identity just in case he turned out crazy. But she had sex with him. Isn't it crazy to have sex with someone who you don't know their name? Am I old-fashioned? 9
writergal Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 But she had sex with him. Isn't it crazy to have sex with someone who you don't know their name? Am I old-fashioned? I must be old-fashioned too. I know the last name of every man whom I've slept with, crazy or normal. Ha, ha! I do think it's odd Gaeta, that you had sex with this man yet neither of you know each other's last name. How is that even possible? If you haven't heard from him by now, I'd take it as a sign he's not interested anymore. It's a shame really but it happens unfortunately. 2
Leigh 87 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I don't think he's that into you. It seems like he liked you but he isn't infatuated with you or deeply in lust. .. When people are really into you they call to warn you about any cancelation. They reschedule. They apologise profusely because they don't want to to lose out on you. You're just not finding men who are that into you for some reason. I have the same problem so it's nothing to feel bad about. 2
aggie382 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I must be old-fashioned too. I know the last name of every man whom I've slept with, crazy or normal. Ha, ha! I do think it's odd Gaeta, that you had sex with this man yet neither of you know each other's last name. How is that even possible? It's possible if it happened early on, like the first date or something, one night stand style. But 9 dates? How does someone go on 9 dates and not know the other person's last name? 1
preraph Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Before mobile phones, there were plenty of good reasons to be stood up. Now that everyone has a phone on them, nothing short of a crippling accident or death is really any excuse. Even if, say, a parent had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, there's time between finding out and while getting to the hospital to make a quick call or text the one waiting for you. 1
writergal Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 It's possible if it happened early on, like the first date or something, one night stand style. But 9 dates? How does someone go on 9 dates and not know the other person's last name? Agreed. It'd make more sense if it was just a one night stand but 9 dates you ought to know each other's last name and other things by that time. Technology makes it impossible not to find that info out now days. Before mobile phones, there were plenty of good reasons to be stood up. Now that everyone has a phone on them, nothing short of a crippling accident or death is really any excuse. Even if, say, a parent had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, there's time between finding out and while getting to the hospital to make a quick call or text the one waiting for you. Agreed. There is no excuse with the 24/7 access to text / email / phone / fax / instant messaging technology we have access to to just stand someone up with no warning. Once someone stands you up, take it for what it is: a rude way to end the connection with you. Technology has ruined people's manners. The guy is a putz for fading on you after he slept with you and took you out on 10 dates. Is he Neanderthal? 1
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 UPDATE: I got this long long text saying how sorry he was. He thought he had lost his phone on January 1st and he spent the day yesterday looking for it and he does not know my number by heart. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. He had just gone and get it. (his parents live quite a bit from him) I asked him how this played a role in him not showing up ! and he said we had not discussed a specific time he was picking me up so he was not gonna just show up un-announced. In his book it's very ill mannered and he would not want anyone showing up at his house unannounced. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, him losing his phone was like the end of the world. My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying but he won't win an award for doing his best to reach me. I also would have liked he called me, not text me, to apologize. I will ask him for his land line number and his last name. You're right we should not treat each other like strangers. 1
Jules Dash Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 UPDATE: I got this long long text saying how sorry he was. He thought he had lost his phone on January 1st and he spent the day yesterday looking for it and he does not know my number by heart. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. He had just gone and get it. (his parents live quite a bit from him) I asked him how this played a role in him not showing up ! and he said we had not discussed a specific time he was picking me up so he was not gonna just show up un-announced. In his book it's very ill mannered and he would not want anyone showing up at his house unannounced. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, him losing his phone was like the end of the world. My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying but he won't win an award for doing his best to reach me. I also would have liked he called me, not text me, to apologize. I will ask him for his land line number and his last name. You're right we should not treat each other like strangers. I am sorry to say this but this is BS. If I was interested in a woman, no way in the world would I let a lost phone cause me to stand her up. I would have left a note in the mailbox, emailed or something. These days everyone knows the status of their phone every 10 minutes. How can you drive a long distance and not know the status of your phone? These things are like extra limbs these days. If it was lost, you have other ways of not standing someone up. 14
Ann253 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 As for a good reason... Not sure, but I gave him a pass. I had been seeing him for just a few weeks. He works 3rd shift, I work 1st shift. He asked me for a lunch date, I was concerned right away because that would mean he'd only get a few hours sleep, but he said he'd have time for a nap later. Needless to say, he didn't show up. He slept right through his alarm. He txt me a few hours later and apologized profusely. I gave him a pass but told him it couldn't happen again, if he couldn't make it to the date he shouldn't make the date. That was about three months ago, things are still going well for us. As for not knowing his last name... I can understand that. When you're getting to know someone sometimes you forget to ask the important stuff. Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever told my current bf my last name. Lol. I'll have to ask him tonight if he knows it. After 24 hours of no communication, unless he's been in the hospital Id say it's time to move on. 1
candie13 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 UPDATE: I got this long long text saying how sorry he was. He thought he had lost his phone on January 1st and he spent the day yesterday looking for it and he does not know my number by heart. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. He had just gone and get it. (his parents live quite a bit from him) I asked him how this played a role in him not showing up ! and he said we had not discussed a specific time he was picking me up so he was not gonna just show up un-announced. In his book it's very ill mannered and he would not want anyone showing up at his house unannounced. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, him losing his phone was like the end of the world. My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying but he won't win an award for doing his best to reach me. I also would have liked he called me, not text me, to apologize. I will ask him for his land line number and his last name. You're right we should not treat each other like strangers. he seems.... silly, unplanned, forgetful and overwhelmed by reality. Sounds like a typical male reaction, I think it may be legit. up to you to decide if he's worth another chance or not. 1
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Even if he thought it was so shockingly and appallingly rude to drop by unannounced, he knows where you live. He could have written a note and slid it under your door. Better yet, he could have written an apology attached to a dozen roses. Instead he forgot that emailing you was even a possibility? He thought he could get away with a long text? You should be gone unless this guy already made a reservation at the nicest restaurant in town and is planning to take you Friday night. Your dating situation is already very suspicious, this was a bad situation and he handled it in nearly the worst way imaginable. 8
CarrieT Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I gotta say, nine or ten dates and you SHOULD know each others' lasts names... 5
Jules Dash Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Even if he thought it was so shockingly and appallingly rude to drop by unannounced, he knows where you live. He could have written a note and slid it under your door. Better yet, he could have written an apology attached to a dozen roses. Instead he forgot that emailing you was even a possibility? He thought he could get away with a long text? You should be gone unless this guy already made a reservation at the nicest restaurant in town and is planning to take you Friday night. Your dating situation is already very suspicious, this was a bad situation and he handled it in nearly the worst way imaginable. His story is so full of BS. "I have a date with Gaeta and I just don't know how to keep the date since my phone is lost." Bullsh**. "I just drove all the way home from someone's house and went to bed without realizing my phone isn't with me." Hey, who doesn't get one last status update from their phone prior to even going to sleep? 4
Chief Wiggum Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 UPDATE: I got this long long text saying how sorry he was. He thought he had lost his phone on January 1st and he spent the day yesterday looking for it and he does not know my number by heart. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. He had just gone and get it. (his parents live quite a bit from him) I asked him how this played a role in him not showing up ! and he said we had not discussed a specific time he was picking me up so he was not gonna just show up un-announced. In his book it's very ill mannered and he would not want anyone showing up at his house unannounced. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, him losing his phone was like the end of the world. My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying but he won't win an award for doing his best to reach me. I also would have liked he called me, not text me, to apologize. I will ask him for his land line number and his last name. You're right we should not treat each other like strangers. Yeah, I don't think he's telling you the truth. Left phone at parent's home and the batteries were dead and they lived far far away, etc. And it took the dude more than 24 hours to bother contacting you again? Shiiiiiiiite, if that was me, I'd be messaging you as soon as the damn thing hit back up to 1% charge. There's a reason why you only know his first name. 8
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 His story is so full of BS. "I have a date with Gaeta and I just don't know how to keep the date since my phone is lost." Bullsh**. "I just drove all the way home from someone's house and went to bed without realizing my phone isn't with me." Hey, who doesn't get one last status update from their phone prior to even going to sleep? He's so addicted to his phone that he can't do anything without it and losing it is the end of the world, but he didn't realize it was missing for ~12 hours? Seems legit. 6
TigerLilly78 Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Anything is possible. He does not have the profile though. He's very shy, took him 5 dates to just kiss me. We were intimate for the first time 2 dates ago and it was his first time after his divorce. He's a religious man, and I was asked serious question about god place in my life and my faith. All this doesn't really mean anything but just to say he's not the usual player one comes across. You slept with a man who you dident know his last name? sorry no offense that just hit me as odd.. 5
Jules Dash Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 He's so addicted to his phone that he can't do anything without it and losing it is the end of the world, but he didn't realize it was missing for ~12 hours? Seems legit. Totally legit. I think I am offended here. I am not offended for him standing her up but I am offended that he wasn't smart enough to concoct a better excuse. He should have showed up at her doorstep connected to a respirator saying he just left the ICU against medical advice to be with her. 3
Danda Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 him losing his phone was like the end of the world. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying I think your gut feelings are broken, which happens to a lot of people, unfortunately. I would not accept this at all if I were in your shoes. It didn't cross his mind to email you? That means that even if this BS story were true, you are not important enough to even think of sending an email. He is very likely full of **** and his explanation sucks to boot, as it comes across as all kinds of "you're not that important to me". This is how slimy people condition their targets. Once you forgive him for this it's going to get worse. Chances are he chose you because you pop signs of low self-esteem and low self-respect all over the place. The fact that he can say he didn't even think to email you, like he really didn't give much of a **** to use that OBVIOUS solution, and you don't even flinch - that is a bad sign darlin. Standing up for yourself is difficult and scary when you're self-esteem and instincts have been run through the mud, but would be okay if some man treats your daughter this way someday? Hopefully the answer is Hell No. If you struggle to love and respect yourself all of the time, use the people you love and respect (friends, family, etc) to gauge a healthy reaction. If you wouldn't be happy with someone treating them a certain way, that means you shouldn't let someone treat you that way. 6
writergal Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 UPDATE: I got this long long text saying how sorry he was. He thought he had lost his phone on January 1st and he spent the day yesterday looking for it and he does not know my number by heart. Turns out he forgot his phone at his parents, the batteries were dead so it went un-noticed. He had just gone and get it. (his parents live quite a bit from him) I asked him how this played a role in him not showing up ! and he said we had not discussed a specific time he was picking me up so he was not gonna just show up un-announced. In his book it's very ill mannered and he would not want anyone showing up at his house unannounced. I asked him if he had a computer and why he had not emailed me. He said it did not cross his mind at all, him losing his phone was like the end of the world. My daughter is here and asked what's my gut feeling about this and I said I don't think he's lying but he won't win an award for doing his best to reach me. I also would have liked he called me, not text me, to apologize. I will ask him for his land line number and his last name. You're right we should not treat each other like strangers. Gaeta, I have this bridge to sell you... He's LYING. B to the S my friend! Didn't cross his mind to email you after he left his phone at his parents' house? Pfft. How old is he exactly? That excuse is older than my Doc Martins. Not buying it. The Price Is Not Right. If this were Jeopardy, the category would be: "Lame Excuses Men Use." The clue is: "He doesn't tell the truth when he loses interest." The correct question for $500 is: "Should I block his number or sell it to a collection agency?" I hope you don't give this guy any more of your time. He's not telling you the truth. Texting you instead of calling you to explain his silence? How convenient and just a little bit disingenuous. He should have called you and been honest. 2
TigerLilly78 Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I would say if were going off of "bad manners" it is by far ruder to stand a women up and make no contact then to show up "unannounced" especially since there was a basic plan in motion for the day just the timing had not been nailed down. Even if he stopped by in the early afternoon and if you were not ready explained himself apologized and offered to come back later at a agreed upon time for the date that would have been considerate in my opinion and appropriate for a man who was genuinely interested. To me his excuse is weak at best and despite him thinking so he really doesn't have a clue when it comes to good manners what he did was rude op people lose phones life should not stop because of this.. 6
spiderowl Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 No he is not on anything, no FB or anything else, and we're not on the dating site anymore. It just dawn on me I've never thought of asking him his last name and he never asked mine either. It's times like this, when you've met someone online, that you realise how little you really know about them. They could be married, in a different job (or no job) to the one they say they are in, living somewhere other than they say. Until you've seen their other social connections, maybe via Facebook, and met them and their friends or family, you really know nothing about someone you've met online. 5
spiderowl Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 It has been my experience as well. I know the area where he lives but do not know his address. He has full custody of his 4 girls (3-6-12-16) so I have not been invited there yet and to me it's quite normal. Whose word have you got on that other than his? It may all be genuine but be aware that a person can weave a web of lies and unless we seek to corroborate it with facts, we only have their word for it. 2
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