HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 How did you handle it? I've had this happen a few times, but I only got pissed off once when the guy was staring at my crotch. That's when I knew how women must feel when a creepy guy hits on them. 2
almond Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I have, three times that I can recall. I handled it like I would any other time someone approached me and I wasn't interested - politely and directly. In fact, it's even easier when they are of the same gender..."sorry, I'm straight." Then a quick smile and walk off. Seems pretty simple to me, although I understand that it can throw men a bit when another man hits on them...lol. But, I would hope that the polite and direct approach would still be taken, with perhaps a slightly more shocked or awkward facial expression If they're pushy, it's a different story. Although, same rules apply as in any other situation...act like an adult and handle the situation maturely without making a fool of yourself or getting arrested for assault. 1
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Oh yeah.. I just ignore and go my way. I'll admit that once I let the guy buy me a drink and then I blew him off. I figured if women can do it, why can't I?
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 I have, three times that I can recall. I handled it like I would any other time someone approached me and I wasn't interested - politely and directly. In fact, it's even easier when they are of the same gender..."sorry, I'm straight." Then a quick smile and walk off. Seems pretty simple to me, although I understand that it can throw men a bit when another man hits on them...lol. But, I would hope that the polite and direct approach would still be taken, with perhaps a slightly more shocked or awkward facial expression If they're pushy, it's a different story. Although, same rules apply as in any other situation...act like an adult and handle the situation maturely without making a fool of yourself or getting arrested for assault. Fortunately, it was at a restaurant bar and I was finished with my meal so I just paid and split. I did want to punch him in the face, though. It really disgusted me when he leered at my crotch. As I said before, it was then that I understood how women feel when men treat them like a piece of meat.
almond Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 So he approached you as a gay male, hit on you, you allowed him to buy you a drink...totally leading him on and using him for your own entertainment. You then had violent thoughts about assaulting him because he fell for your ruse, and had a bit of a perve on you? I see.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I'll admit that once I let the guy buy me a drink and then I blew him off. Wow. You have really got to watch your phrasing.... 13
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 So he approached you as a gay male, hit on you, you allowed him to buy you a drink...totally leading him on and using him for your own entertainment. You then had violent thoughts about assaulting him because he fell for your ruse, and had a bit of a perve on you? I see. No, those were two separate incidents. As for letting him buy me a drink, I was in my 20s and a little immature. Besides, women do that all the time - what's the big deal? Don't tell me you've NEVER led a guy on (assuming you're a woman). 1
Light Breeze Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I'll admit that once I let the guy buy me a drink and then I blew him off. I figured if women can do it, why can't I? Well, some drunk guy asked me directly if we could hookup. I was shocked and walked away It felt bad really because I totally forgot to say "no, thank you". Blame it on the good upbringing
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Wow. You have really got to watch your phrasing.... I thought of that too. 1
Light Breeze Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Wow. You have really got to watch your phrasing.... :D:D Lol 1
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Well, some drunk guy asked me directly if we could hookup. I was shocked and walked away It felt bad really because I totally forgot to say "no, thank you". Blame it on the good upbringing Yeah, that would be pretty shocking. I wouldn't blame myself for just walking away if I were you.
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Quite a few times. Flattering. Agreed. I think if a gay guy thinks you're hot, most women would too.
almond Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 (edited) No, those were two separate incidents. As for letting him buy me a drink, I was in my 20s and a little immature. Besides, women do that all the time - what's the big deal? Don't tell me you've NEVER led a guy on (assuming you're a woman). Oh, my mistake. And it's no big deal at all...been sitting in the office for 13 hours and counting...loveshack is giving me a much needed mental break right now Just curious...if it were the guy that you deceived and led on that perved on you, would you have still wanted to assault him, or would you have considered yourself fair game in that instance? And not that this is about me at all, but I can honestly and genuinely say that no, not once have I ever intentionally led a guy on (I know, I know, hard to believe). I've never accepted a drink while out from anyone, as I have either been single and too focused on social life and studying etc ie. NOT interested, or in a relationship. I've never done random hookups, and never actively sought a relationship at any point in my life. Sorry to ruin your attempt at justifying your own poor behaviour, but even if I were guilty of the same, it still wouldn't be any better. I don't agree with leading people on...male or female makes no difference in my eyes. Edited January 3, 2015 by almond 2
littleblackheart Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Quite a few times. Flattering. Same. Took me by surprise the first time though, as this wasn't something I'd ever expected (being mildly Asperger's can make you read situations in all sorts of strange ways sometimes, and misunderstandings can very easily ensue) but flattering all the same. 1
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Just curious...if it were the guy that you deceived and led on that perved on you, would you have still wanted to assault him, or would you have considered yourself fair game in that instance? Yes, I would figure I asked for it. In this case, I was minding my own business (in fact I was away on business, it wasn't a night club) just wanting to eat my dinner and he started schmoozing with me. I'm friendly and didn't realize he was gay at first so I BSed with him a while. And not that this is about me at all, but I can honestly and genuinely say that no, not once have I ever intentionally led a guy on (I know, I know, hard to believe). I've never accepted a drink while out from anyone, as I have either been single and too focused on social life and studying etc ie. NOT interested, or in a relationship. I've never done random hookups, and never actively sought a relationship at any point in my life. Well then I commend you for this (if it's true ). Most women, I believe, couldn't make the same statement. Sorry to ruin your attempt at justifying your own poor behaviour, but even if I were guilty of the same, it still wouldn't be any better. I don't agree with leading people on...male or female makes no difference in my eyes. I'm not trying to justify my behavior. As I said, I was immature at the time (drunk, too), so I think I'm being somewhat critical of myself. I'm sure the guy got over it quickly, as we all do when women do it to us.
insert_name Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I was in a bar singing happy birthday to a friend when I felt a hand slip into my hand and hold it. In slow motion I turned and looked up (I'm 6'1) to see a geezer looking down at me and smiling. He leaned in and said "do you want my number?". Normally I would politely decline an unwanted advance (by either gender!) but I was so shocked that I just flatly stated: "No." He said: "Suit yourself then" and left in a strop. I laugh about it now! 1
Author HazyCosmicJive Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 I was in a bar singing happy birthday to a friend when I felt a hand slip into my hand and hold it. In slow motion I turned and looked up (I'm 6'1) to see a geezer looking down at me and smiling. He leaned in and said "do you want my number?". Normally I would politely decline an unwanted advance (by either gender!) but I was so shocked that I just flatly stated: "No." He said: "Suit yourself then" and left in a strop. I laugh about it now! That must have been very disturbing. 1
MrMeh Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I like dancing at gay clubs...so yeah. Funniest incident was when an older gentleman checked me out from bottom to top and simply said "Oh mah gawd".
preraph Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I used to go to gay and bi clubs back in the 70s and of course being always open minded always had mostly gay male friends, and good close ones. My encounters with mostly bi women were a mixed bag. My first stalker was a close friend from college who impulsively married a guy on vacation she'd just met and I didn't even know her, but while everyone in the dorm was congratulating her, I was telling her "big mistake" (which would surprise no one on this forum). As a result she came to me in the middle of the night and broke down and I gave her the courage to get it annulled. Well, she turned out to be bi and I believe, though she never confirmed, also got mixed up in some prostitution while I knew her. I couldn't put 2 and 2 together until I was away from her for some time and older and wiser. Just didn't have enough life experience to see it clearly at that time, but my close friends also knew something was off and she had an extremely creepy older woman friend I now believe was a drug addict/pimp. Anyway, she was my first stalker. She fell in love with me, and something else entirely made me get her out of our circle of friends (using a guy's kid to get next to him when he was already involved with another group member). Anyway, I moved and got a new job. She showed up at my new job, etc. It was more sad and pathetic than anything. I wish I could have sorted her out, but she had more twists and turns than a mountain road. Another girl invited herself along to what was basically my hookup with a guy I knew. She had been married, so I guess she was bi. We'd hung out some. She was kind of fun but too pushy about stuff like that. So that was when I realized I really wasn't interested in the female body, though I wish I was. It would probably have saved me a lot of problems over the decades. She was pretty. Another girl I knew was gay from someone telling me took a liking to me right before I moved states. She was gorgeous but we didn't have a whole lot to talk about. She never pulled anything overt, but I knew she was hoping to and she found out where I moved to out of state and popped in to see me right away. Then my first girlfriend when I moved states (in the 70s still) was dating my boss at the retail store. She was gorgeous in that kitty cat Ann Margaret way. All evidence pointed to her being straight, but I kept picking up on small things, and one was quite disturbing. She talked about her sister as being the most beautiful woman and she really seemed to have a "thing" going on there about her sister. (Later they would both date guys from the Eagles - I wondered if they were both dating the same one at the same time...). Anyway, we had both brought guys over to her house and the usual girlfriend thing before, so I was surprised one day chilling at her house when she just got this really sensual look on her face and started coming in real close up in my face and flirting with me. It really couldn't have been anything else. She was quite bewitching, too. She was still dating my boss and he was very jealous!! No way I was getting in the middle of that anyway, but I was very caught off guard. We remained friends until the boss and her broke up and he paid her way back to her sister in another state. Ah, the '70s. I miss them so. 1
carhill Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Ever get hit on by someone of the same gender? Only once, by an older gay male while on a conference down in LA for the financial institution I was working for at the time. He was a fellow loan committee member. I kept conversation topical and gently nudged him out the door. Never had any issues after. He and my exW got on well when we all went places together on similar business.
SomeDude16 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Yes, he's a gay guy that works at my favorite sandwich shop. Every time I'm in there he would comment on my body and aesthetics. I'm always tempted to punch him but of course that would be a hate crime, so I keep my composure. It sucks though, and it's very uncomfortable. From that point on I became more conscious how I hit on women. It's not always fun to be hit on. 1
regine_phalange Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Twice. The first stroked my thigh out of the blue. The second wanted to do my naked portrait. Unfortunately I dont like women 1
Danda Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 I've been pursued (in one fashion or another) by almost an equal number of women as men. It doesn't bother me, but then I've always been a smidge bi-curious anyway. I think it happens for the most part because I have a rather masculine personality when with female friends or other women in general, and I am also a bit inherently romantic (apparently) even when it's not about sex. When I go out with a female friend I tend to treat her like a date, minus the sexual tension. I wasn't self-ware of this until recently in life, so I probably gave some women the wrong impression by accident over the years, anyway. I imagine it takes a serious amount of guts for a homosexual/bisexual person to try to hit on the same gender, even very subtly, without knowing if the other person is homosexual/bisexual or not. So the way I see it as that even if you're not interested, someone thought you were worth one hell of a risk, which can feel good if you allow it.
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