Guitarisgood Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Is this an okay thing? I have my various pursuits. From fitness to photography to playing the guitar to dancing. As such I enjoy my freedom and to be able to do these things. I find it uncomfortable being the type of couple that would spend every waking minute together. Being a fitness fanatic I guess I'm not attracted to girls who aren't like wise active i.e. don't exercise/ take an interest in a healthy lifestyle. I've met and known a girl over a year and I'll admit tension has built and receded and continued like this throughout. It culminated last night when I walked away from her finally and this was one of the reasons so. I mean every inch of me was willing me to finally cross the boundary between friends to something more but alas, I left - the last person - of a party she organised. I guess I feel if I really liked her, I would have tried harder no? I'll admit, I'm still not dating the girls I like, but is it right to turn girls down like these? If I was honest, I can't picture anything long term with her.
Phoe Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 It is 100% okay to not pursue if you're not feeling like she is right for you! 4
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 You don't have to justify your choices. As long as you are polite, kind & respectful of people, you certainly don't have to date them or befriend them. It sounds like you know something is "missing" & as a result are unwilling to pursue something more with her. There's no harm in that but be careful not to lead her on. Next party, don't be the last one to leave.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 It's absolutely your right to choose whether or not to date someone. As a woman with a lot of passions myself (well, a few I guess, but they're deep... music first and foremost, I love playing piano/guitar, going to great gigs around the country, my charity work, literature, proper cooking...) I have tried dating guys who seemed to have literally none past watching TV, and it just never worked for me. I need someone who's passionate about something, even if that thing is the polar opposite of what I'm into! I'm not into sports or art for example but a guy with a passion for either of those would be absolutely dateable as he would just 'get' what it's like to feel so passionate about something. I want someone who is going to have things they love to fill their time with when I'm off doing my own thing, because I'm never going to stop doing the things I do for myself, even though it's fun to invite a partner along to join in. Can't think of anything worse than someone who's primary passion is their relationship, not to mention that it's a very risky investment when it can end in the blink of an eye on the other person's side, leaving you with literally nothing.
Million.to.1 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 The only people who will tell you it's not ok to turn down a potential prospect you are not really feeling it for are people who don't have any prospects. I'm sure you'll find some here.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 From what you posted, I don't see anything about a passion or lack there of in what KIND of passion in your post. Are you saying she's not as much into fitness or just passionate about ANYTHING? Is this an okay thing? I have my various pursuits. From fitness to photography to playing the guitar to dancing. As such I enjoy my freedom and to be able to do these things. I find it uncomfortable being the type of couple that would spend every waking minute together. Being a fitness fanatic I guess I'm not attracted to girls who aren't like wise active i.e. don't exercise/ take an interest in a healthy lifestyle. I've met and known a girl over a year and I'll admit tension has built and receded and continued like this throughout. It culminated last night when I walked away from her finally and this was one of the reasons so. I mean every inch of me was willing me to finally cross the boundary between friends to something more but alas, I left - the last person - of a party she organised. I guess I feel if I really liked her, I would have tried harder no? I'll admit, I'm still not dating the girls I like, but is it right to turn girls down like these? If I was honest, I can't picture anything long term with her.
candie13 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 allow me to explain what happened: you got cold feet. Next time, make the plunge, who knows what might happen. truth is, you do not KNOW her. she might have a million passions, she might be exciting as hell or unbelievably boring - you will never know. So stop torturing yourself and next time... be a man and make a move, who knows maybe smth will actually happen !
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